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Trauma and control and “the get over on people” mentality

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Rising Star
As Ive allowed my trauma to heal, I’ve encountered extremely entrenched resistance in me from what I call “the get over on people shit.”

It’s the idea that one must get over on others so that others don’t get over on one’s self. It seems at least related to the idea that the world is out to get me.

I think it’s a combination of being traumatized as a child and the control that goes along with that, and certain things about society which seem to have been running like programs in me since childhood. So there’s individual and collective aspects of it that I’ve experienced.

The collective aspects have made it tricky to heal the individual aspects. When I’ve gotten close to the gold in healing my own trauma, the trauma has basically “gotten over on me,” by diverting my attention collectively, either to collective trauma, or to perceptions of the mindsets of others, friends say, who may not have shown many signs of desiring their trauma to heal. And that’s where the part of me who still wants to fit in with others comes in. The common thought has been, why heal if no one else around here does? And other such thoughts. So I have this duality, where I want to heal, yet part of me hasn’t so far.

I think at some of it is rooted in the covering up of the shame of being bullied, or abused, or shamed for whatever reason during the course of my life.

Just desired to exercise some of it at least by writing about it.
I believe one of the skills that can aid in healing is keeping focus. I notice the tendency myself when feeling down to get lost in thoughts of "this is not going anywhere, it's never gonna change" etc. However, I think my trip experiences have helped me in noticing that these stray thoughts often masquerade as thoughtful ideas but are really just distractions that are often best just ignored if possible. When feeling bad, it's common to rationalize why you feel bad and can't do much about it, but if one can learn to let that thought arise and pass, there's an freedom that can arose as a consequence.
A pretty cool guide to people, why they act, how they act and how to deal with them and the world is available.

Maybe Harry Browne's "How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World" or "Rule Your World" might ring a massive bell with you.

Both can be found at libgen.is

Have fun reading and you can pm me anytime with questions.
I’ve had a similar phenomenon happen with myself. Trauma mascuarading as creativity. A kicking the can of healing down the road of sorts. Yet such phenomena have not been totally trauma based. I’ve discovered much actual creativity through these experiences. The trauma which has come to the surface in this way is usually infused with my desire to heal and express myself, which helped cause something of a language explosion in me.

And I downloaded the book.
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