Bluehappy
What are you but what your mind percieves you to b
Unique couple of trips I had this week. Definetly am glad I keep a journal after I trip to make sure I get the most out of my experience and to try to remember what I am experiencing. I know it is hard (for me at least) to remember details so I try to be as detailed as possible right after the trip. Here arey last 2 entries... Give me feedback on if anything like this has happened to you. Slightly concerning for me!
7/8/2018 8:08pm-8:25ish
After a weekend of a celebration of Biggie's life and wishing little brother fair well on his way to Uganda, I drove home thinking about kaizen and making a purpose for myself. I decided to go home and smoke some NnDMT to meditate and try to find my true self. My previous trips we're nothing but Bliss and excitement but I also did not go into them with any thought waining on my head. Today I took 32mg Vaped in the gvg and had my first real breakthrough. I lived an entire day in the life of a tropical space entity (tropical seems to be a theme of mine, very warm, sunny and Sandy) I was floating in a pool towards the end of this day and realized I was either very old or not myself. I seemed to be an entity and that got me questioning. Who am I? What do I mean as a human? How do I leave an impact? Is all of my life just a trip?
As the trip came to a close, 2 realities seemed to mesh into one. I knew I was this entity seemingly having memories of a wife and children, but I was in my apartment in my own body. I jumped back and forth between two conciousnesses trying to figure out which one was real and who I actually am. This was no doubt something that permenantly will have changed me. I am taking a break from the spice for a breakthrough, and a thought provoking one has been achieved.
Turns out I am allot more serious and lost than I thought, maybe it's time to cut the joking and fun and pursue a legacy that people will admire and appreciate when I am gone
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7/9/2018 11:10-11:30ish
After not feeling all that normal after yesterday, some voice in my head was screaming at me to trip again. Something tried to stop me and I was very anxious before the trip. I spent a lot of the day on DMT Nexus and watched The Spirit Molecule for the second time which got me motivated enough to trip. Being so anxious for no apparent reason, I meditated with Headspace, then said a number of Hail Mary's followed by a short request to keep me safe within my trip. 29mg was measured and when I finished praying I smoked. I though there was no effect as I tried my first eyes closed trip so about
5 min later I tried again. Almost instant paralysis. I heard something say "we got you now" and everything swirled in a seeming Galaxy of darkness. An entity that can only be described as a dark moon man made himself present. He danced around me in a playful manner, but looked like he was up to no good. I was so entirely me and he was so entirely him but it seemed like he wanted to control me. I laughed at him internally and danced around him as he chased me in circles. After opening my eyes, my desire to trip was ended. I feel like maybe yesterday some of my consciousness was left behind somewhere, and the small little entities that said "we got you now" were actually helping me to retrieve it back from this moonman figure.
All in all I came out of this trip thankful for my consciousness and being on Earth as well as feeling more like myself than after yesterday's trip. I have little desire to smoke again in the upcoming weeks, but we will see how far out my curiousity will let me take a break. For now, I plan on atleast a one week hiatus. Maybe 2.
7/8/2018 8:08pm-8:25ish
After a weekend of a celebration of Biggie's life and wishing little brother fair well on his way to Uganda, I drove home thinking about kaizen and making a purpose for myself. I decided to go home and smoke some NnDMT to meditate and try to find my true self. My previous trips we're nothing but Bliss and excitement but I also did not go into them with any thought waining on my head. Today I took 32mg Vaped in the gvg and had my first real breakthrough. I lived an entire day in the life of a tropical space entity (tropical seems to be a theme of mine, very warm, sunny and Sandy) I was floating in a pool towards the end of this day and realized I was either very old or not myself. I seemed to be an entity and that got me questioning. Who am I? What do I mean as a human? How do I leave an impact? Is all of my life just a trip?
As the trip came to a close, 2 realities seemed to mesh into one. I knew I was this entity seemingly having memories of a wife and children, but I was in my apartment in my own body. I jumped back and forth between two conciousnesses trying to figure out which one was real and who I actually am. This was no doubt something that permenantly will have changed me. I am taking a break from the spice for a breakthrough, and a thought provoking one has been achieved.
Turns out I am allot more serious and lost than I thought, maybe it's time to cut the joking and fun and pursue a legacy that people will admire and appreciate when I am gone
------
7/9/2018 11:10-11:30ish
After not feeling all that normal after yesterday, some voice in my head was screaming at me to trip again. Something tried to stop me and I was very anxious before the trip. I spent a lot of the day on DMT Nexus and watched The Spirit Molecule for the second time which got me motivated enough to trip. Being so anxious for no apparent reason, I meditated with Headspace, then said a number of Hail Mary's followed by a short request to keep me safe within my trip. 29mg was measured and when I finished praying I smoked. I though there was no effect as I tried my first eyes closed trip so about
5 min later I tried again. Almost instant paralysis. I heard something say "we got you now" and everything swirled in a seeming Galaxy of darkness. An entity that can only be described as a dark moon man made himself present. He danced around me in a playful manner, but looked like he was up to no good. I was so entirely me and he was so entirely him but it seemed like he wanted to control me. I laughed at him internally and danced around him as he chased me in circles. After opening my eyes, my desire to trip was ended. I feel like maybe yesterday some of my consciousness was left behind somewhere, and the small little entities that said "we got you now" were actually helping me to retrieve it back from this moonman figure.
All in all I came out of this trip thankful for my consciousness and being on Earth as well as feeling more like myself than after yesterday's trip. I have little desire to smoke again in the upcoming weeks, but we will see how far out my curiousity will let me take a break. For now, I plan on atleast a one week hiatus. Maybe 2.
