This post is the focus of the changa experience I had today. I am not yet aware of this forums culture and attitude towards changa and where it lies on the dmt spectrum of experience.
I smoked changa for the first time yesterday. I consider it my first experience into the more recognized DMT spaces. My only other experience with DMT was oral ingestions several weekends ago. The effects were not too similar but unified through synchronicities. As of yet because of the situation with my smoking implements I'm not really able to smoke large amounts in a single dose. I smoked about 5 times yesterday. The experiences ranged from a sense of the divine, grace, reflection of the unease I went into them with, some confidence and some worry. All in all I would call them 'light' and there was little I would call revelation. Still they were the strongest and most bizarre experiences I have had.
That's the quick summary of my experiences thus far. If you'd like to hear about them in depth you can read my introductory essay here:
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Today I woke up, smoked some cannabis and prepared to smoke the largest dose of changa yet. I light, it smokes easily enough, I hold it for a few seconds and I exhale. As I exhale my vision ripples and lowers slightly in contrast, my body feels lighter like a light nicotine rush. I put down my waterpipe, turn around and walk to my bed. My consciousness is ripped up and squeezed. The vibrating begins and I lay back and close my eyes. For moments I observed the feelings of energy, changes in visuals and sensations.
Then I was transported to a vibration or place of my, or somebodies psyche that was heart-wrenching and terrifying. It was haunting, I would describe the visuals as a dark spinning space of decaying old childrens toys and rusty wallowing plates. That is the sense it gave me. I was scared, it was physically painful, an aspect I only just remembered as I write this. There was pain, stinging, a terrible discomfort all around my body. It really hurt. I felt the infinite nature of the moment.
During this experience I remember my thoughts drifting to a stickied thread on the nexus titled 'Why you should NOT do dmt' which I just read last night. I remember it saying that once you experience these things, you cannot go back. These experiences are truly for the brave of heart. Towards the end of the experience I remember thinking 'I guess this time I am done with DMT for a while'
Of course I returned to my body, the horrid space left, and I did best to return to my heart. Something not too difficult with the gracing warm glow that was dancing through my windows. A lovely contrast indeed.
I have felt lots of love and compassion lately and know these are real places. I interpret this experience as a teaching that these places too, exist. Maybe it is showing there is responsibility that I must take. It may have very well been a cosmic shaking of the shoulders as a result of the haphazard and disrespective fashion I've been approaching these trips. This was my first 'bad' trip. My first moments into the dark night of the soul, into hell. Although I know now as I write this that the experience surely pales compared to where it could go. Where souls have surely been.
This experience has not driven me away from changa. I feel that it isn't necessary for me to go through the same experience again, and if it is I suppose it is for the best. Perhaps this was simply the result of having underlying tensions and unease that caused me to enter this place. Perhaps I should focus on my heart and try my best to stay in a place of love. To what lengths can or should I attempt to steer these things? I tried my best to surrender to the entire experience and watch it unfold. Ick. Well, I hope I am stronger as a result of this experience.
How joyous and reassuring a hot ceramic cup of tea is in my hands after an experience like that. Ahh.
I smoked changa for the first time yesterday. I consider it my first experience into the more recognized DMT spaces. My only other experience with DMT was oral ingestions several weekends ago. The effects were not too similar but unified through synchronicities. As of yet because of the situation with my smoking implements I'm not really able to smoke large amounts in a single dose. I smoked about 5 times yesterday. The experiences ranged from a sense of the divine, grace, reflection of the unease I went into them with, some confidence and some worry. All in all I would call them 'light' and there was little I would call revelation. Still they were the strongest and most bizarre experiences I have had.
That's the quick summary of my experiences thus far. If you'd like to hear about them in depth you can read my introductory essay here:
--
Today I woke up, smoked some cannabis and prepared to smoke the largest dose of changa yet. I light, it smokes easily enough, I hold it for a few seconds and I exhale. As I exhale my vision ripples and lowers slightly in contrast, my body feels lighter like a light nicotine rush. I put down my waterpipe, turn around and walk to my bed. My consciousness is ripped up and squeezed. The vibrating begins and I lay back and close my eyes. For moments I observed the feelings of energy, changes in visuals and sensations.
Then I was transported to a vibration or place of my, or somebodies psyche that was heart-wrenching and terrifying. It was haunting, I would describe the visuals as a dark spinning space of decaying old childrens toys and rusty wallowing plates. That is the sense it gave me. I was scared, it was physically painful, an aspect I only just remembered as I write this. There was pain, stinging, a terrible discomfort all around my body. It really hurt. I felt the infinite nature of the moment.
During this experience I remember my thoughts drifting to a stickied thread on the nexus titled 'Why you should NOT do dmt' which I just read last night. I remember it saying that once you experience these things, you cannot go back. These experiences are truly for the brave of heart. Towards the end of the experience I remember thinking 'I guess this time I am done with DMT for a while'
Of course I returned to my body, the horrid space left, and I did best to return to my heart. Something not too difficult with the gracing warm glow that was dancing through my windows. A lovely contrast indeed.
I have felt lots of love and compassion lately and know these are real places. I interpret this experience as a teaching that these places too, exist. Maybe it is showing there is responsibility that I must take. It may have very well been a cosmic shaking of the shoulders as a result of the haphazard and disrespective fashion I've been approaching these trips. This was my first 'bad' trip. My first moments into the dark night of the soul, into hell. Although I know now as I write this that the experience surely pales compared to where it could go. Where souls have surely been.
This experience has not driven me away from changa. I feel that it isn't necessary for me to go through the same experience again, and if it is I suppose it is for the best. Perhaps this was simply the result of having underlying tensions and unease that caused me to enter this place. Perhaps I should focus on my heart and try my best to stay in a place of love. To what lengths can or should I attempt to steer these things? I tried my best to surrender to the entire experience and watch it unfold. Ick. Well, I hope I am stronger as a result of this experience.
How joyous and reassuring a hot ceramic cup of tea is in my hands after an experience like that. Ahh.
