Wading into the pool

[saxbari]

I am pretty new to the spice. I had a pretty far out trip the first time, and since then I've been taking smaller doses, gradually increasing them. And sure has been a positive experience thus far. I have taken 4 little trips since my first, all in the last week and a half. I am gradually going further and further into it. The more I experience the more.. not comfortable, but I guess welcoming of the experience I become, as opposed to being trepidatious about it.

I'm experiencing a lot of visual activity. I am seeing a lot of frog imagery.. mostly done in Mayan glyph Style art. I am seeing simple shapes like interlocking cylinders with rounded ends with dots in them. They interlock and transform actively in strange fluid ways. The movement seems to kind of start and stop with no definitive beginning or endpoint, as time of course moves differently there. I have really been sensing at least one presence.

I took a little trip 2 days ago down at the beach. The other world appeared. There was the impression of a giant frog entity in front of me, both with my eyes open and closed. It seemed like it was telling me that I wasn't ready. It didn't close the trip off or anything, but that was my impression of what it was thinking.

I unexpectedly had the day off yesterday, and wound up in meditation and deep thought for several hours, with excellent insights, before taking a walk to get some tools for the job I was doing today. I hung out at my friend's place where I keep my tools although he was not there, and talked to some other friends on the phone for a while, and took the pull off my pen that I had pretty much decided I was going to do a few hours earlier before my phone started ringing. (I tried to allow the conversations to reach their natural end point, although I might have rushed the second one after talking for two and a half hours).. anyway, things dissolved in earth tones, I heard a faint carrier wave in the back of my head, my breathing was very loud, not labored but loud in my ears, and I was (silently?) repeating the word, "listen," over and over again as I breathed.. the interlocking cylinders had appeared.. I felt like something was showing me something. In retrospect now, it seems like a language is being taught to me, perhaps the intuitive and visual language of hyperspace. I do not know yet because I am new. It was probably the deepest I've gone since my first time. It was very welcoming. It started to show me other things, perhaps the tesseracts I have read about.. a cube with strange things in it. Nothing was holding it that I could see, but there did seem to be a background behind it.. I saw what might have been female figure kind of behind that for a moment.. human but not appearing completely human, like with a big head and a skinny neck. I also saw a diamond shaped head kind of peek out from behind the cube for a moment. The trip began to fade, with other similar visuals like this.

I had some thoughts that I have been getting perspective on coming through my head at one point.. and I was able to detach from them somewhat, and a very strong feeling of love appeared in my solar plexus. I walked home with tears coming down my face, this powerful love taking me and showing me ways of healing, and how deep the healing is, and how very profound. I was actually still feeling the effects, it lasted much longer than usual. I was able to safely walk, there were no distracting visuals or anything, just a great walk home across town. The Afterglow seems like a very important part of these trips to me.

I know this is an unremarkable report. I only really make it because I would like to say what a beneficial thing these experiences have been for me, thus far. It is opening doors for me, and I am experiencing deep healing at an accelerated rate. The phrase, "love is the breakthrough," is coming into my head a lot. I have also been enjoying interacting with this community. It helps me to understand what I experience. Safe travels!

 

[Pandora]

saxbari,

Thank you for sharing that. I enjoyed reading it. And you do yourself a disservice by describing it as unremarkable. You are doing a fine job. Afterall, this area is for those who wish to attempt something that may be impossible - compacting a 5D DMT experience into the 3D world of language.

The geometry, movement, feelings of love, hints of entity contact and frog themes all sound very DMT to me. In my opinion you are not yet reaching the areas that can be experienced by vaping a hefty dose of DMT rapidly. In other words, I predict you will be surprised at just how much more there is to experience. Your report title, Wading into the pool is apt. But I would describe DMT as a sea, a sea with shallows, wavepools, depths and trenches.

If you want to go deeper, perhaps even experience a breakthrough, the idea is to get more of the medicine into you faster. Generally vape pens are not the path to easy breakthroughs. They are wonderful for low and mid level experiences and not having to deal with precise measuring or a ridiculously hot torch certainly has its' appeal. But if you ever decide to go deeper you might want to invest in a device like glass vaporgenie or emesh - these things deliver thick, marshmallowy hits of DMT and allow one to consume the entire dose in just a hit or two. Of course at this point, I also consider it essential to invest in a mg scale and to start measuring doses precisely.

The previous of course, assumes you wish to go deeper. If not, there is still a lot more to see and experience where you are at with dosing. And since you mention healing I would recommend maybe starting to journal your experience and your integration thoughts in the aftermath.

Thanks again for a good read.

 

[Tripolation]

love is the breakthrough

 

[saxbari]

saxbari,

Thank you for sharing that. I enjoyed reading it. And you do yourself a disservice by describing it as unremarkable. You are doing a fine job. Afterall, this area is for those who wish to attempt something that may be impossible - compacting a 5D DMT experience into the 3D world of language.

The geometry, movement, feelings of love, hints of entity contact and frog themes all sound very DMT to me. In my opinion you are not yet reaching the areas that can be experienced by vaping a hefty dose of DMT rapidly. In other words, I predict you will be surprised at just how much more there is to experience. Your report title, Wading into the pool is apt. But I would describe DMT as a sea, a sea with shallows, wavepools, depths and trenches.

If you want to go deeper, perhaps even experience a breakthrough, the idea is to get more of the medicine into you faster. Generally vape pens are not the path to easy breakthroughs. They are wonderful for low and mid level experiences and not having to deal with precise measuring or a ridiculously hot torch certainly has its' appeal. But if you ever decide to go deeper you might want to invest in a device like glass vaporgenie or emesh - these things deliver thick, marshmallowy hits of DMT and allow one to consume the entire dose in just a hit or two. Of course at this point, I also consider it essential to invest in a mg scale and to start measuring doses precisely.

The previous of course, assumes you wish to go deeper. If not, there is still a lot more to see and experience where you are at with dosing. And since you mention healing I would recommend maybe starting to journal your experience and your integration thoughts in the aftermath.

Thanks again for a good read

Hi! Thank you for insights. I have been journaling my experiences, as a part of my healing journey. I have been since long before I tried DMT for the first time in early February. That was the most intense trip I've taken thus far, and, although it was not a breakthrough in my opinion, it 9 blew my mind in a good way. I was not in this plane, I immediately thought that I had taken too much and just as quickly decided not to worry about it because there was nothing I could do about it anyway. I experienced the most vivid visuals I have seen the thus far thus far and I experienced very interesting time distortion effects. I made a trip report on here already, so I will not repeat myself too much!

It was just one long pull on a vape pen. I've been taking smaller ones since then, because I was a little overwhelmed, and have gradually been increasing the dose again. My intention is to try taking a larger dose again next time.

I concur that I have yet to experience much of what DMT has to offer. I am looking at getting a different apparatus to try it out, and I've been looking at several websites and such. The consensus on here is definitely as you say, use one of those two systems you described. It is a somewhat expensive prospect for me right now, but I'm going to work my way up to it. I tried to source some local material, and have had very limited success. For the time being, I plan on getting a new cartridge and increasing my doses on it.

I am definitely thinking that it is time to take a stronger foray into this sea. The first time was rather strong, unexpectedly immersive. I was kind of scared, but more amazed, at the intensity and depth of the experience. The positive effect on my healing journey was unexpected as well. I believed that I had gone deep before, but I did not realize how deep The mind is. I think that that neuroplasticity associated with spice use that they talk about is a real thing, as I really make progress on things after using it. It helps me to open my mind.

I got to go. Have a good day!

 

[premeditated]

saxbari,

Thank you for sharing that. I enjoyed reading it. And you do yourself a disservice by describing it as unremarkable. You are doing a fine job. Afterall, this area is for those who wish to attempt something that may be impossible - compacting a 5D DMT experience into the 3D world of language.

The geometry, movement, feelings of love, hints of entity contact and frog themes all sound very DMT to me. In my opinion you are not yet reaching the areas that can be experienced by vaping a hefty dose of DMT rapidly. In other words, I predict you will be surprised at just how much more there is to experience. Your report title, Wading into the pool is apt. But I would describe DMT as a sea, a sea with shallows, wavepools, depths and trenches.

If you want to go deeper, perhaps even experience a breakthrough, the idea is to get more of the medicine into you faster. Generally vape pens are not the path to easy breakthroughs. They are wonderful for low and mid level experiences and not having to deal with precise measuring or a ridiculously hot torch certainly has its' appeal. But if you ever decide to go deeper you might want to invest in a device like glass vaporgenie or emesh - these things deliver thick, marshmallowy hits of DMT and allow one to consume the entire dose in just a hit or two. Of course at this point, I also consider it essential to invest in a mg scale and to start measuring doses precisely.

The previous of course, assumes you wish to go deeper. If not, there is still a lot more to see and experience where you are at with dosing. And since you mention healing I would recommend maybe starting to journal your experience and your integration thoughts in the aftermath.

Thanks again for a good read.

So I started with a vape pen doing exactly what you described. While making my own teks. I haven't really tried my own batch but when I did it is very harsh. Smoking out of regular glass pipe with a torch. I'm afraid I didn't make it right bit it's very yellow and smells of strong dmt. Anyway I just ordered some white lotus for sandwich method and planning on going shopping for a vaporizer. What do you suggest other than geneie?

 

[premeditated]

Hi! Thank you for insights. I have been journaling my experiences, as a part of my healing journey. I have been since long before I tried DMT for the first time in early February. That was the most intense trip I've taken thus far, and, although it was not a breakthrough in my opinion, it 9 blew my mind in a good way. I was not in this plane, I immediately thought that I had taken too much and just as quickly decided not to worry about it because there was nothing I could do about it anyway. I experienced the most vivid visuals I have seen the thus far thus far and I experienced very interesting time distortion effects. I made a trip report on here already, so I will not repeat myself too much!

It was just one long pull on a vape pen. I've been taking smaller ones since then, because I was a little overwhelmed, and have gradually been increasing the dose again. My intention is to try taking a larger dose again next time.

I concur that I have yet to experience much of what DMT has to offer. I am looking at getting a different apparatus to try it out, and I've been looking at several websites and such. The consensus on here is definitely as you say, use one of those two systems you described. It is a somewhat expensive prospect for me right now, but I'm going to work my way up to it. I tried to source some local material, and have had very limited success. For the time being, I plan on getting a new cartridge and increasing my doses on it.

I am definitely thinking that it is time to take a stronger foray into this sea. The first time was rather strong, unexpectedly immersive. I was kind of scared, but more amazed, at the intensity and depth of the experience. The positive effect on my healing journey was unexpected as well. I believed that I had gone deep before, but I did not realize how deep The mind is. I think that that neuroplasticity associated with spice use that they talk about is a real thing, as I really make progress on things after using it. It helps me to open my mind.

I got to go. Have a good day!

I'm doing exactly what you are doing with the vape cart. Just barely easing into it. I got the woman entity with 8 arms doing something with my chakras. It's so strange bc I can feel it being very very warm wherever she touches. As far as the rotating gears...I'm like McKenna astonished. When I try and figure out what's going on so i can explain it to my friends...seems like the trip goes dark as if I shouldn't be thinking so hard. Then I relax and breath and everything goes beautiful again. Everytime i have tears coming out bc its so crazy and amazing. I still can't imagine these super breakthroughs ppl describe. I regret reading all the hundreds of negative trip reports. So now I'm very apprehensive about going too hard.

 

[Pandora]

So I started with a vape pen doing exactly what you described. While making my own teks. I haven't really tried my own batch but when I did it is very harsh. Smoking out of regular glass pipe with a torch. I'm afraid I didn't make it right bit it's very yellow and smells of strong dmt. Anyway I just ordered some white lotus for sandwich method and planning on going shopping for a vaporizer. What do you suggest other than geneie?

premeditated if you are unable or unwilling to invest in a vaporgenie or emesh system one thing you can work on is refining your vaping technique. I hate to recommend youtube, but in fact there are videos out there. The idea is to gradually heat up the DMT such that it vaporizes but does not burn.

The thing is it is very easy to burn spice. Burned spice smells/tastes like burning plastic lawn furniture. Correctly vaped spice tastes like nothing. This is the beauty of the Glass Vaporgenie for folks like myself. I never was able to adequately refine my vaping technique such that I banished the burning plastic smell/taste until I got that vaporgenie. That first hit of thick vape was surprising with the lack of taste. And changa in a GVG tastes amazing - it tastes just of the herbs and not of the DMT.

But if GVG is out of range currently, I would seek out instructional videos on property vaping the spice - it involves a kind of gradual application of heat rather than a blast of heat.

Hopefully sandwich method and/or your hunt for a vape will pay off for you.

 

[saxbari]

Hello! I waded a little bit further in this evening. I was in really quite a good headspace. I had a lot of personal breakthroughs as I worked during the day, and then a couple hours of artistic Pursuits. I had decided that I was going to try and break through.. but then I did do so, I decided to continue to ease into this. As I said- I went further this time though. Maybe up to my knees I'm not sure. I took one pretty good hit off my pen, the biggest one since my first time, and held it in for longer. It immediately felt stronger. Right away, I had the impression of a face in front of me although it was blurry and indistinct. A flat surface appeared, with Earth toned geometries and such. There was more of an impression of a presence this time. I'd almost seemed like it was guiding my perspective across this flat surface.. pointing things out. The feeling was that I had not taken enough to see of what was being shown. I saw a few things that corresponded to the idea of the machine elves. There was one very small human looking figure that stood out because of its blue color. I could not quite look, and I occurred to me that it was playing. I had that impression a few times, from the machine elf looking things. The Vista changed, I was now seeing what looked like small fountains, erupting with multicolored streams coming from a focal point, and consisting of different colors, Rich violets and oranges and yellows, and containing within them cryptic writing, in a script that I have never seen before. The impression was that something, or a few things, was saying here it is! Don't you want to see? Look at it! And I did, and I did want to see.. but I had not taken enough. The thought came to me several times too try and locate my pen and do some more, but then I became cautious and a little scared and I didn't do it. I thought I would ride it out and see what would happen, instead. I found my physical perspectives changing, and The View changed to something like a vague, somewhat undefined place near a seashore, with another Consciousness there, and trees and sand and an ocean. It was not as clear of a vision as the flat area had been. The experience was drawing to a close as far as the peak went. I noticed that as the peak began to dwindle a little bit, that a lot more Blues and grays and other more brilliant colors began to include themselves within the more Earth toned/ sepia visuals. That happened the last couple of times as well. It began to fade but not as quickly. I'm gradually increasing my dose. I think it is time to really try to break through though. I don't know if it is because of my lungs being large, or because this cart has a four to five ratio rather than the much more commonly available three to five ratio that I have seen while looking around for this stuff, but I think I am going to have no problem lifting off quite significantly with two large ones. I'm going to try very soon.. but not tonight. Maybe in a few days. The thing is to stop trying to categorize experience and stay in control I think. I think I should really just let it Fly, and myself with it. It was only a couple hours ago, so it is still kind of fresh. I was able to procure a new cart, so I do not have to be worrying about figuring that out in the midst of this healing Journey. Hope you're all well. Safe travels!

 

[saxbari]

Wow! I was having a little bit of extra time this afternoon, so I decided to sit in my friends backyard and take a trip. I had decided to try and break through, but then I changed my mind.. I got a little scared, and then I chickened out. However, I did take by far the biggest pull on my pen but I have taken from it, since my first experience on a different apparatus.

I did some non vaping test draws and timed how far I could go without overfilling my lungs. I made it to 20 seconds before stopping. I have really big lungs fro from some artistic pursuits I enjoy. I decided that if I did two of those for my pen, I would certainly break through. But as I said, I chicken dough out. But not completely, as I did one really big one, not 20 seconds though. It was getting up there. I held it in for a while, but not as long as I could have.

For the first time I saw some vape smoke come out of me, as the world began to change shape, and crystallize, and such. I immediately saw a faint allusion to a face, and then things started changing rapidly and more intensely. I did not break through. I had a really powerful experience though, and I'm not afraid of breaking through anymore, I don't think. As is often the case, from what I've read, it was difficult to remember. However I am becoming more comfortable or less afraid of that environment.. The environment of hyperspace as far as I have explored it thus far, in my halting cautious way. I was alone, I did not feel like it though. I didn't see any entities though, I don't think. It was beautiful, though.

Things at first were earth tones, but changed to more varied colors sooner I think. I saw my first hint of what has been termed the chrysanthemum I think. It was definitely that shape. It was beautiful. My eyes were open. It was blending in to the vegetation around me. That was a real treat, the vegetation... I have not looked at plants yet, and it was beautiful. Shimmering and crystalline yet alive, vibrant, and growing. I thought at one point I was sensing small creatures playing around in the grasses! I thought I saw hints of some vertices appearing within it, and I was so tempted to take another pull of my pen. I probably would have, but I was in my buddies backyard, and there are some neighbors... I did not want them coming and trying to talk to me at that point, or perhaps detecting the aroma from the pen and becoming concerned. It was a little bit of vestigial paranoia.

It started to fade, the trip that is, and took quite a while to dissipate. A couple tears appeared in my right eye. After that, I think I tried to hang on a little to it, and it felt really wrong. hanging on is the opposite of the lesson, I think... Which is letting go... Of things, many or a few things, and it is really deep, but I think that is a huge part of the lesson of today. Actually that is a huge part of the lesson that I've been learning throughout this experience of being introduced and introducing myself to the spice. It was beautiful, and I have seen more and more hints of the beauty which is waiting as my healing continues and my exploration of spice continues also, should I choose to. That is part of the letting go... energizing myself, and allowing myself choice. There is a lot of depth to the topic, and I don't think I will get into it right now because it is not the time in more ways than one... I have to do some work before bed. It is good work though, stuff to facilitate my relationship with my muse. I think I am going to try and let today's excursion sink in for a few days. We'll see.

Safe travels!

 

[Panpsychic]

Wow! I was having a little bit of extra time this afternoon, so I decided to sit in my friends backyard and take a trip. I had decided to try and break through, but then I changed my mind.. I got a little scared, and then I chickened out. However, I did take by far the biggest pull on my pen but I have taken from it, since my first experience on a different apparatus.

I did some non vaping test draws and timed how far I could go without overfilling my lungs. I made it to 20 seconds before stopping. I have really big lungs fro from some artistic pursuits I enjoy. I decided that if I did two of those for my pen, I would certainly break through. But as I said, I chicken dough out. But not completely, as I did one really big one, not 20 seconds though. It was getting up there. I held it in for a while, but not as long as I could have.

For the first time I saw some vape smoke come out of me, as the world began to change shape, and crystallize, and such. I immediately saw a faint allusion to a face, and then things started changing rapidly and more intensely. I did not break through. I had a really powerful experience though, and I'm not afraid of breaking through anymore, I don't think. As is often the case, from what I've read, it was difficult to remember. However I am becoming more comfortable or less afraid of that environment.. The environment of hyperspace as far as I have explored it thus far, in my halting cautious way. I was alone, I did not feel like it though. I didn't see any entities though, I don't think. It was beautiful, though.

Things at first were earth tones, but changed to more varied colors sooner I think. I saw my first hint of what has been termed the chrysanthemum I think. It was definitely that shape. It was beautiful. My eyes were open. It was blending in to the vegetation around me. That was a real treat, the vegetation... I have not looked at plants yet, and it was beautiful. Shimmering and crystalline yet alive, vibrant, and growing. I thought at one point I was sensing small creatures playing around in the grasses! I thought I saw hints of some vertices appearing within it, and I was so tempted to take another pull of my pen. I probably would have, but I was in my buddies backyard, and there are some neighbors... I did not want them coming and trying to talk to me at that point, or perhaps detecting the aroma from the pen and becoming concerned. It was a little bit of vestigial paranoia.

It started to fade, the trip that is, and took quite a while to dissipate. A couple tears appeared in my right eye. After that, I think I tried to hang on a little to it, and it felt really wrong. hanging on is the opposite of the lesson, I think... Which is letting go... Of things, many or a few things, and it is really deep, but I think that is a huge part of the lesson of today. Actually that is a huge part of the lesson that I've been learning throughout this experience of being introduced and introducing myself to the spice. It was beautiful, and I have seen more and more hints of the beauty which is waiting as my healing continues and my exploration of spice continues also, should I choose to. That is part of the letting go... energizing myself, and allowing myself choice. There is a lot of depth to the topic, and I don't think I will get into it right now because it is not the time in more ways than one... I have to do some work before bed. It is good work though, stuff to facilitate my relationship with my use. I think I am going to try and let today's excursion sink in for a few days. We'll see.

Safe travels!

Nice report. I would get get out of the mindset of having to have a 'breakthrough'. You are doing fine and gradually going deeper, integration of what you have learned into your life is key.
Also you might consider vaporhuasca if you want to go deeper and draw out the experience. Easiest is by preparing Syrian Rue tea and drinking it an hour before you vape or making it into a resin by boiling it down all the way and smoking that before you vape the DMT.

The thing is it is very easy to burn spice. Burned spice smells/tastes like burning plastic lawn furniture.

I actually think the smell of DMT isnt as bad as people make of it. Its not incense but it has a unique aroma that is firmly associated with the trip.

I never was able to adequately refine my vaping technique such that I banished the burning plastic smell/taste until I got that vaporgenie. That first hit of thick vape was surprising with the lack of taste. And changa in a GVG tastes amazing - it tastes just of the herbs and not of the DMT.

From what I understand Changa will not fully vaporize in a GVG. You will get a hit but what remains is still active. Its really designed to be smoked, but doing so with a pipe can be too harsh so a bong works well.

 

[saxbari]

Splish Splash. I went down to the Sea this afternoon, made myself comfortable and took a pretty large haul off of my pen. It seems to me that the apprehension of just before one takes a toke, then the intensity of the onset, is really the most worrying part of using spice. That is how it feels to me now anyway.

Once it kicked in, I was once again a little bit further into that space. I was definitely seeing hints of entities, lots of fractals, strange script appearing from out of nowhere, and the whirling /transforming geometric patterns that characterize my experiences thus far. Mostly gone are the sepia and Earth toned visuals, except for right at the beginning. I'm getting a lot more greens and Blues now. I saw hints of shapes, lots of things that are being kind of alluded to. I saw lots of interesting multi-dimensional shapes happening. I was thinking someone analytically I think, I remember thinking about the mechanical tesseract I saw online yesterday as a experienced a visual of one. I think I saw like a grasshopper head at one point, but then I was coming out of it. The water was absolutely beautiful after I opened my eyes, with many interesting visual impressions. I came out of it.. and hit it again. And again was very interesting, lots of Blues and greens. The sea seems like it was surging out of its confines behind the soft barrier of seaweed. I knew it wasn't, but it looked like it was and it was taking on some ethereal qualities of course. The blues and white froth and the shades of blues and greens were remarkable. I thought about the science report I read a few days ago about some scientists stimulating the eyes of some subjects - including themselves - and in which they had described a new shade between blue and green. I experienced much the same visuals. I hadn't gone quite as long on the inhale, or for holding it in. I came out of it.. and hit it again, but the cartridge was nearly empty so it was a rather short, less immersive experience.

The beach was filling up for sunset, and the setting was interfering with my experience I believed- I began to be concerned about disrupting people, especially families even though there were none anywhere near me, with my blissed out open mouth gaze into the distance and the possible aroma of spice, Even though they were no people very near to me, but I became self-conscious, so I got up and walked a couple kilometers to another Beach.

It was a bit of a walk as the trail was one that I've only taken once before, and there were lots of mud and brambles. I got to a bench, and I tried my new cartridge out. Again, it was one long one, around 10 seconds or so, and I held it in for quite a while. I experienced a very strong onset. It was stronger than my first one at the other beach, but still not breaking through. I experienced some really interesting cartoon-like visuals on the landscape. Like the other beach, the large islands showed like silkscreen on the horizon, almost a flat visual, like cartoons. I sat there and reflected... And hit it again.

It was absolutely beautiful. Tears were pouring down my face, tears of joy I think. And again... Much like the last time, but with a less vivid onset, like I was overdoing it, but the experience was very similar. A goose came up and was looking at me from a distance. I just saw something moving, and didn't want to look.. it turned out that it was real, and looked so clear. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. It was so vivid and realer than real. I didn't even feel like I was wearing glasses. It also didn't seem to matter if I had my eyes open or closed, at many times during this experience and the other ones that I had this afternoon.... and then I hit it again.

I kept my eyes open at first, and the onset was not as vivid, but then I close my eyes... At first it was dark and then things got very bright. When I did open my eyes, things seemed so achingly real... it was really something. I tried a total of seven times, which was much more than the two I did in one session one other time. I was feeling that it was too much at that point but I was glad that I had done so, ultimately, and it was a very positive final experience for the day. The goose was still there, eyeballing me... Again it didn't seem to matter if my eyes were open and closed at times and I didn't worry about it. I think that that is very important, the not worrying, letting go and such.

The sun was setting by now, and I had no intention of doing anymore, so I set off through the woods. I was a little bit apprehensive as I went into the darker woods, but I know them really well. I had a nice walk along the river, and got back to town as dusk was setting up in earnest. It was a long walk home, a few kilometers away from home... which was good as I had a lot to consider, many perspectives to be considered and to gain... Well, perspective on, and continuity. I had to consider all the different things I had experienced and what I had been thinking. Huge breakthroughs, but not in the spice breakthrough context. Fear leads to more fear, letting go to letting go.. they come off as trueisms, it's difficult to articulate. So much to say, so much huge insight, and I must let it settle.

It has been very very positive. Like I said last time, I am losing my apprehension overall about entering the space. .. especially after having gone at it with a couple of clusters of sub breakthrough experiences I did, this afternoon and evening. I have gone further and further into this slowly, and I've gained a lot of personal insight, as well as becoming more acclimatized to the environment. The experiences take a lot of thought, as you know, and I have to put things together afterwards, especially with not giving it time in between, this time. I had a lot to put together and consider sequentially. I had such a profound healing journey home from across town. It occurred to me that I hadn't eaten very much, so I stopped at the grocery store. That was a pretty good sandwich when I got home!

I am quite glad I have been trying this, and I'm glad to have this community with which to blather on about what I have been experiencing. Reading about your experiences, and Your responses to mine, has been very helpful to me. I hope you are all doing well.

 

[saxbari]

I went down to the beach again this afternoon. Although I did as much spice yesterday as I did in my entire life up until then, I thought I would try some more, even though I thought it might be too soon, and I may not have gone through my lessons enough yet. I thought it might help me with that. I thought also because I usually have done them back-to-back days in the past, it might be helpful.



So I took a rather large blast, and took off pretty well. I was firmly in another zone of some description. I had my eyes closed. I saw lots of scripts and things beckoning me further...much like the last time, a sort of beckoning series of square like objects kind of spiraled out towards me, with different geometries sort of inviting me in, almost like a multi dimensional finger giving me a, “come hither”, gesture, Both in motion and colour, drawing my gaze and mind in towards it. I wanted to go further, to follow its prompt. I told myself that I didn't know how to, but it was fear that I will describe in a moment. More things like this appeared, and I didn't / couldn't / didn't know how to follow.



Some things happened that I don't quite remember. It was extremely immersive, more so than any other time after my first foray into this realm. I believed I had seen hints of a insectoid type face, but again believed it was merely because I had been reading about them a few days ago.



There was something trying to show me things however. Lots of script appeared, and some brighter colours intermixed, drawing my attention. Eventually something like a really big bug, but not a mantis type, like a sort of fly only rounder in the wings and body and it was sort of showing me things. I began thinking that perhaps this was a breakthrough trip. It was so immersive, colourful and real, even though I knew it was spice induced. The fear had appeared when I thought about it being a breakthrough... as it turns out, more deeply and fundamentally afraid than I admitted to myself, I realize that now. Anyhow - the fly entity came up to some location in this realm, it was like on a surface or something sort of, and then it kind of drew my attention to it. I experienced fear again, and then anxiety. I withdrew a bit, the anxiety thoughts were very disturbing. I tried to kind of banish them, or ignore them... my blissful, ecstatic, empowering meditations on energizing myself had waned. I also experienced some tightness in my chest at that point, which was I think related to my thinking it was a breakthrough trip.



It went away right away, the tightness in my chest that is... Then I felt the trip starting to fade a little bit... then it shifted into a hazy landscape, kind of right where I was, but facing a different direction, things were not nearly as defined in this state as they were in the one a few instants earlier. I've seen things like that one other time, and again my body was not actually facing the direction that it felt like it was at that moment.



The trip continued fading and I wanted to hang onto it. I was upset about the anxiety, as I believed that it might have been interfering with the experience [I know now that the anxiety was masking the actual fear / the fear was hiding behind the anxiety]. I opened my eyes , and was disappointed that I had experienced anxiety during it. Tears of joy at the beauty of what I had seen except for the anxiety and fear parts were coming out of both of my eyes. rather than think about the anxiety and everything else, and let things fade, I decided the thing to do was to hit it again really quickly.

soon it was revealed that it was not very good idea to have done that. Rather than the nice welcoming calm vibe, with nice colours and such, things really quickly became bright and alarmingly yellow, with a red background, if that makes any sense ... there were squiggly Parallel curves, kind of like snakes or serpents, Coiled springs of tension... there wasn't a nice calm Blissful rapture type of feeling, it was like, “what?! what are you doing back here, now, you did not think about what you were feeling after that last experience, and you are doing the wrong thing!” It was not pleasant, and I knew that I had made a mistake by going right back in without proper reflection.

There was a log in front of me, vertically coming out of the sand. it had a heart that somebody had ornately put into place, and it became like a face, staring at me in an unwelcoming way, p.o. 'd and upset with me, and the landscape around it was much the same .... unwelcoming and upset, angry, accusatory that I had not listened. I had heard the faint messages of, “you're not ready”, as the last trip was ending, after the bug had found and shown me my fear [which quickly hid behind associated anxieties as I have come to realize recently that it often does], as well as something like “accept it before it's too late,”... Those were things I heard at the end of the first experience. Rather than think them through, I decided to ignore it somewhat as it is a fear I had been looking at, that I was aware of, but evidently had not faced head on.

This was right before I had hit it that second time, and experienced what may have been my first hyperslap. It faded and the disturbing visuals went with it. Rather than ignore this disturbing turn of events, I sat there and immediately started thinking and journaling about it.

I've been wrestling with an ancient fear of mine that I didn't really understand that I had until a few weeks ago. I knew there was absolutely something but I didn't understand it.

this was a good old fashioned slap upside the head, to use my local vernacular. I sat in realization of this message, and meditating upon it for awhile. I was also journaling. I decided to take one last pull on my pen. I did not think it was the greatest idea, even less so than earlier. However, I really didn't wanna leave it that way, with a smack down for not listening. it was not as big of a haul, nor did I hold it in quite as long... I'm not really sure though. Anyhow, there were some closed eye visuals... It was like Beings of some kind were coming to look at me and investigate me, although the visuals were dim. I did not feel unwelcome, although I did feel scrutinized. I open my eyes again, as things started to fade quickly. I didn't want to look at the post with the heart engraved on it again ... but I did. It was no longer frightening... and a smile appeared within it and some kind of funny eyes that I hadn't noticed before either. It was kind of like something was saying, don't worry about it, things are OK, you're OK... Now go think and meditate for a while.

So I have been! I've learned and seen a lot last two days - as well as over the last many decades of course - and it is time to think for a few days I think before I go at that again. Thank you for reading.

First trip was absolutely magical, the second one disturbing but also illuminating, the last one somewhat Indeterminate and quizzical and, finally, reassuring.

 

[saxbari]

hi there! I hope you are well.

Here is more of my noob experience.

I've spent the week in deep thought when I have had the chance, following my little hyper slap the other day. I decided preparing for my next excursion, whenever it might be. It was difficult, because, last week, I dropped my pen following my single pretty big inhalation from it... And I was at the beach. the next day I tried to take a non activated puff through it... and I noticed that was very clogged, and it might be worth trying to clean it. The sand got into it.

Being very unfamiliar with vaping, it took an empty cart apart to see how they fit together. it did not seem to Be too complicated, so I started in on the one which still was partially loaded. Almost immediately that one broke. It didn't shatter, but it cracked. I decided to try and scoop it out and smear it on some paper. I read that some people make changa out of Mullein, so I put some of that on there to try and soak it up, before folding it over.

The next day, I went down to the beach again with my old weed pipe [I don't smoke it anymore, just edibles at night to help keep me asleep]. It was a fair amount, compared to the amount the pen goes down after a toke. I figured it would either blast me off real good or do nothing. I put a bed of Mullen, elecampane, and one other herb in there, a third of the piece of paper, and a little bit of the herb mixture on top of it. After spending several hours in meditation, I gave it a try [I don't always have time to think that much during the course of the day, but I wasn't feeling well so I took the day off from working]. I also put a bit of the herb mixture on top of the paper, thinking that if I got that going then perhaps it would be a gentler burn when it got to the paper, hoping to allow the spice to vaporize rather than just burn.

It didn't exactly blast me off, that's for sure... but I did experience some open eye visuals and the feeling, although I did not experience anything like what I usually do off of my 8 to 10 second pulls that I usually do. I still have not worked my way up to doing more than one. I secreted a lot of tears, which surprised me. It was nowhere near as immersive, it was as light of an experience as I've ever had with this molecule. I decided to smoke the rest of the piece of paper in the same way right after, and had much the same effect, except for much less salty discharge from my eyes.

The point of this writing is to say:

1. the vape juice can be smoked in this way, although it was a waste, and it was not very effective in terms of generating an intense trip. I do not recommend it!

2. If you do find yourself in a similar situation, do not wipe the vape juice on regular writing paper. It was a very harsh burn, and I hurt my throat.

3. Give yourself time to think about what you experienced, even if you just want to set right back into it.

4. Profound insights can be had even after a light trip. I felt like I learned as much from this as I did from more intense ones.

I wasn't sure if the vape juice would work like this, and it sort of did. If I'd worked out a different way to smoke it then perhaps it would have been better. I couldn't find any writing about anybody smoking the juice out of the pen this way, but it did work. Sort of.

Like the other day, when I got slapped, I tried to go right back into it without too much thought. It was such a light dose, so I thought I would try, but I don't think the thing to do for me is to come down a little bit And then go right back into it. I think reflection is essential for me, even like 20 minutes or something.

Just because I didn't go right out into the zones does not mean that I did not have a worthwhile experience. it still worked in a very healing beneficial way on my mind. I experienced emotions in a way so that I could really notice the differences in how I was experiencing them.

I did not think that I would stay away from DMT for very long after my little hyperslap. The hyperslap was actually a very illuminating and worthwhile experience. Although this time was not the intense experience I had been hoping for, it was still very rewarding, very much so... except for the burned throat. I forgot about that fun part of smoking harsh stuff like writing paper. Good God... at any rate, time for another cart. I am going to try the crystal soon.