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What a day...........

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Skeemer

Skeemer

remeeks
today was crazy. While at work i felt something brewing in my soul. It my me feel uneasy. It went on for 20 minutes or so and was affecting my concentration so it was irratating. Finally i said what the f is going on and just like that a flood of thought raced thru my head. It was like a semi self analysis was being downloaded into my brain....all negative things. I realized that i'm not the person i thought i was. I realized i can do so much more for my children, my wife, my parents, and even some of my friends. I then realized that I am a selfish person surrounded by so many unselfish people who i sometimes take advantage of...it made me feel horrible, almost to tears. I felt like i didn't deserve the unconditional love my wife has for me. I realized my kids need so much more than what i've given to them. I felt like i was slipping into a deppresion, but just like that i felt comforted and knew that everything was going to be ok.

during lunch i thought about so threads i've read and some things people have told me so i knew this would have a positive outcome.

on my way home i called my wife and told her this and she was kind and supportive and I told her that this was almost like a lesson about me and my selfishness and then a bell went off in me head and i said holy sh-t! This is a lesson about my selfishness and I know what i need to do to improve in this aspect of my life; just like that i felt like this huge weight was lifted of my chest and i felt so releived. It was truly an amazing feeling.

This might be a boring story to most, but i've never felt anything like this before and felt i should share it. Is this type of self revelation a dmt affect(integrating maybe?), or maybe I'm crazy a little? Maybe even these are everyday thoughts normal people have? Has this type of thing happened to anybody even on different levels?

Thanks for reading
 
Hey and thanks for the story! You know, there's no reason to even begin to think in the direction that you are crazy or that this experience is something only crazy people would experience. To the contrary, it is a wonderful experience that has brought you a new and better perspective to your life, hasn't it? What can possibly be wrong about that?

I think these kind of experiences happen when one is more open. Very many people in todays world live more or less closed, both from other people and more importantly from oneself. When opening up, you start listening to your body and your true morality. The reason for opening up can be next to any profound experiences, absolutely including DMT and other entheogens. They are all great tools for self-development.

You may also experience this from next to anything that gives you an experience out of the ordinary. For when you have experienced something vastly different than your everyday life, it is much easier to look at your everyday life with new glasses. For some this may be meditation, having a child, or even a vacation. But in your case, I would definitely say that it is the DMT that has caused you to get a new and probably better outlook on your life. And that is absolutely wonderful! :D
 
Awesome man!

Sounds like you really had a revelation today. Congratulations on making a change, let your thoughts today be a seed, and may you continue to grow!
Ive been working a lot on myself lately.... I still have lots of work to do, but recognizing the things about yourself that you would like to change and how those things affect others is the first step.

Blessings,
Once
 
Not boring at all, Im happy to read that! I think its excellent when this kind of thing happens, when we get a flash of self-criticism and notice our own faults. Do notice that just having seen that isnt necessarily a permanent cure, because this struggle for being less selfish (or whatever issue each person has to deal with) will go on in your daily life, its a permanent path of inner growth. Having seen it, though, is a very very important step.

This kind of thing has definitely happened to me already, sometimes directly during the effect of a psychedelic, sometimes in normal daily life. I dont know if in those cases I can specifically correlate it to the previous psychedelic experiences, like an after-effect, because things in life are so connected, integrated, how could I separate something like a cause-and-effect, right? But in any case I do think that one way or another, these substances have helped me become more self-observing, critical.

As for the question if "you are crazy", whats crazy anyways? If you are becoming MORE aware of the effect of your actions on others, more caring, then how can it be crazy? Crazy is the 'normal' person that doesnt care about others and is only after superficial things, you are a sane person in the right path in my eyes :)

Good luck on putting the lessons in practice!
 
Hello Skeemer... One of the side effects of spice , imho, is wanting to become a better person, no matter how good you are. We are truly One and what we do to others we are in effect doing to ourselves. Congratulations on what is hopefully the first of many revelations that cause positive change in your life, which in turn affects all those around you!
Namaste
Aetherbound
 
Skeemer, this sounds like an awesome lesson for you and I'm so glad you've shared it with us. Selfishness comes very insidiously with us. I recently put forth a series of negative posts here at the Nexus that I know realize were absolutely unnecessary. How much harder to act mindfully in the moment, with the pressure of having other humans immediate responses in front of us!

We will support you as much as we can. Best of luck.
 
Selfish - concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

Crazy - spectrum of behaviors characterized by certain abnormal mental or behavioral patterns

Psychopathology - behaviours or experiences which are indicative of mental illness.

Illness - a state of poor health.


Some can be crazy and not be sick. Some can be selfish and not be crazy.
Some can be normal and also sick. Some can be sick and also crazy.

It is recommendable to be crazy, but not sick.

:)
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^I agree^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thank you everybody for your response and insight it is very appreciated.
 
Not boring at all. very real. and you know what i think everyone has those thoughts from time to time things we are

doing get stagnent and we gotta change it up and evolve to make sure we dont get bored. And i think everyone wants

whats best for there family. I know i want whats best for the ones i love. and as far as the crazy thing goes, people

always call me crazy, but i look at the way things work a lot of times and i think they are crazy.
 
skeemer.....
Right on, This is a nice story to hear. Your not crazy and the wonderful thing about having and sharing experiences like that is that they tend to start happening more often.

It is a sort of breaking open of the shell that has been closing off your mind.

It feels great to experience that, it is even more awesome to integrate that experience into positive change in your life and the pinicale of that experience is to be able to verify and confirm it by sharing with others and having others verify and confim that you are not crazy and that its good to be you.

Hell yes!!!
 
im glad that you have come to see that you are not perfect but now you see your problem and you can work on becoming a little closer to yourself, its deserved and it feels great to be selfless but it does take work, i know its in you and you shall achieve this change. people have sad you always need change i believe so you can constantly find yourself because once you think you have their is another piece of you waiting to be discovered.
 
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