What's A Breakthrough? Joy and Confusion here!

[Teamleary]

Hello everybody!

Alway a pleasure to come here and share with you my experiences…
I hope you can « help » me a little bit here, as I am full with joy and confusion after my last try.

I don’t know if I ever clarified that but I’m 5,11 and about 150 pounds.

So, I prepared about 25/28mg of FB (I have a precision scale but I don’t think it’s that easy to know for sure, maybe I ought to buy another one).

Someone’s supposed to lend me a GVG but for now, I have my own « technique » which is simply the sandwich in an electronic vaporizer (namely, the crafty), set on 160°C.

Also : I had nothing to eat (I mean, it was 2pm and I didn’t eat anything for breakfast). I meditated before like always, though it’s not my best meditations because I’m excited…

I took long hits and kept them in my lungs for 15 seconds, I felt a wave of joy and confidence, and it was… familiar, which is weird because I’m not experienced, but something in my body felt like the spice « welcomed me back ». After the fourth hit, I naturally closed my eyes and there it began, I have no words to describe it but one: a maelstrom. Just a maelstrom of extremely fast-changing shapes. I felt aspirated (and, weirdly, on « one side » in particular, on the right). And also felt like something was addressing something to me, talking to me maybe even though I didn’t understand.

When I opened my eyes, I had a big laugh and immediately thought « where was I? ». It really felt like I’ve been somewhere else… and that I came back, but didn’t really grab what happened. I still had some gentle OEV. I was happy and a bit frustrated as I didn’t remember much of the moment. I don’t know if you could say I was « conscious » during it, but I wasn’t unconscious either.

I turned on the vaporizer once again to see if there was anything left. I took another 3 hits, lighter this time, of course, closed my eyes intentionally and got some pretty good looking visuals, but kept a complete self aware during the whole thing. Felt a little « aspirated » and « talked to » again, but less intense.

(so I guess the first part of the trip must be around 15mg and the second,10)

I’ve been reading a lot about breaking through a lot but never really understood what it is. I thought it was something like an orgasm: « you’ll know when you have one ». When I opened my eyes and laughed I thought « I broke through ». But then, as I failed to grasp what happened, I thought « maybe not! ».

I think I’m gonna try again tonight.

I’m now very joyful and confused at the same time. I’m gonna go read what’s written about integration right now : )

Thank you!

EDIT : I said "maelstrom" was the only words, but there's also "flashing". Cause that's what it was.

 

[DreadedShaman]

I've loved that explaination, a breakthrough is like an orgasm, there's no questioning when you've had one! It's very true, it's hard to denyhaving a breakthrough.

A breakthrough (or an orgasm) not being what you expect it to be is something else on the other hand. I have been with friends during their first breakthrough that have been fulfilled and amazed by breaking through, but overall seemed underwhelmed, as if they were expecting more or something different.

My biggest pet peeve about psychedelics in general is preconceived ideas. This can change the psychedelic state in a few ways, such as maybe feeling muddled by someone else's experiences weighing on your own, or your own experience not quote living up to someone else's. The idea that something is impure can make it feel impure when it is not! (Ever wonder why some [quite a few] people really only want those extra white xtals? )


To me, it sounds like you at least came very close to a break through (again like orgasms there are definitely different levels to sub-breakthrough/breakthroughs, some can be far more intense than others).

Safe travels brotha


P. S. Isn't that "welcome back/welcome home" feeling the best. Pure unconditional love

 

[Teamleary]

I've loved that explaination, a breakthrough is like an orgasm, there's no questioning when you've had one! It's very true, it's hard to denyhaving a breakthrough.

A breakthrough (or an orgasm) not being what you expect it to be is something else on the other hand. I have been with friends during their first breakthrough that have been fulfilled and amazed by breaking through, but overall seemed underwhelmed, as if they were expecting more or something different.

My biggest pet peeve about psychedelics in general is preconceived ideas. This can change the psychedelic state in a few ways, such as maybe feeling muddled by someone else's experiences weighing on your own, or your own experience not quote living up to someone else's. The idea that something is impure can make it feel impure when it is not! (Ever wonder why some [quite a few] people really only want those extra white xtals? )


To me, it sounds like you at least came very close to a break through (again like orgasms there are definitely different levels to sub-breakthrough/breakthroughs, some can be far more intense than others).

Safe travels brotha


P. S. Isn't that "welcome back/welcome home" feeling the best. Pure unconditional love

Hey Dreadedshaman!

Thank you a lot for your answer. I have to say, I completely agree with you. Expectations are a disaster (in general and even more with psychedelics). Of course, it's very hard not to have any. If we didn't, would we have tried it? probably not! I think I've been chasing an "eureka" moment for a while, and as much as I lived something intense, the fact that it felt so.... elusive... it makes me feel like I've got robbed of my experience in a way (I'm still very joyful anyway!). I mean, if I could draw, I couldn't draw what I saw. The memories are too blurry.

You're right, so right about the quest of "purity", another major problem (in life in general also). I'm just happy to be on the journey.

Thank you again!

PS : first time it happened to me and yes, it was great. Not a room for fear.

 

[breeze225]

Ok I agree with dreadedshaman that I think you were close but trust me you WILL KNOW WHEN IT HAPPENS! I am still new to this only a couple months in but in the beginning I had the same thoughts "did I didn't I?" and trust me you wont question it when it happends! also YES pre conceived notions have a big impact I was reading so much about meeting enties and seeing them interacting with them that is what I thought a breakthrough needed to have. I thought I needed to see a entity in a form. Wich actually my 1st breakthrough was kinda opposite NOW I have had those geometric patterns give way to entity forms but that first 1 it didn't it was the geometric form that presented itself just like sub breakthroughs but this time it was different its hard to explain what it feels like and I think it may be different for everyone (different but similar) but that geometric pattern was the entity in the first breakthrough and I merged with it and became one with it! I have said this before but the best way I can describe it is "the breakthrough is the destination! sub breakthrough we travel towards the destination. But on a real breakthrough we actually REACH THE DESTINATION!" then after you breakthrough you might get even more confused as it goes lol because I have found this "destination" is like a onion it has layers and will peal back more and more the breakthrough has many different levels! but just trust you will know when it happends. Happy travels youll be there soon!

 

[Teamleary]

Ok I agree with dreadedshaman that I think you were close but trust me you WILL KNOW WHEN IT HAPPENS! I am still new to this only a couple months in but in the beginning I had the same thoughts "did I didn't I?" and trust me you wont question it when it happends! also YES pre conceived notions have a big impact I was reading so much about meeting enties and seeing them interacting with them that is what I thought a breakthrough needed to have. I thought I needed to see a entity in a form. Wich actually my 1st breakthrough was kinda opposite NOW I have had those geometric patterns give way to entity forms but that first 1 it didn't it was the geometric form that presented itself just like sub breakthroughs but this time it was different its hard to explain what it feels like and I think it may be different for everyone (different but similar) but that geometric pattern was the entity in the first breakthrough and I merged with it and became one with it! I have said this before but the best way I can describe it is "the breakthrough is the destination! sub breakthrough we travel towards the destination. But on a real breakthrough we actually REACH THE DESTINATION!" then after you breakthrough you might get even more confused as it goes lol because I have found this "destination" is like a onion it has layers and will peal back more and more the breakthrough has many different levels! but just trust you will know when it happends. Happy travels youll be there soon!

Thanks breeze!
I have to say, when I opened my eyes I knew, I felt like I knew, at least, it's the lack of clear memories that introduced doubts...

So I gotta ask: do breakthrough happen eyes opened and/or closed or only opened/only closed? (I know the question is awkwardly formulated...)

 

[FranLover]

happy for you and your recent trip=) Its exactly like Breeze said. Of all the forms of breakthrough, 2 two are the most confirming; one is the type that materializes into a solid state. You were travelling but then brokethrough into a solid state place, so basically you have an interactive TV in your brain that is on one of the weirdest channels youve ever seen. The second one that is confirming as hell is when you youre travelling and drop somewhere, reached destination; this trip is the T Mckenna famous trip report where he reports being in a dome with machine elves--ive been in this place, after thinking that trips must be unique to everyone and that what I was seeing was nothing like what T Mckenna described. But then it happened. Youll reached destination someday. You fall in the dome, be greeted by eveeeeryoooone, and be shown the most amazing things. I didnt notice any elves, never have for now, but they were machine things, infinitley complex, like some sort os strange interdimensional clocks, full of parts that are like swirling, magical, shining.

 

[DreadedShaman]

I guess also speaking of preconceived notions, I'll speak about my own.

DMT in particular, I did a lot of listening to McKenna while learning to extract and first trying it/breaking through.

I have yet to see mckennian elves. Upon seeing my own hyperspace, it really opened my eyes to what listening to other people's experiences and ideas can do to your own

The entities that i would describe have been much more in line with some of the entity classification posts I've read on here, I feel like (although I should read moar about it) my visions have been much more... Shamanic? Not so elf-y. Often entities are morphing, moving patterns that impart some sort of knowledge to me. This isn't always true, but I haven't found any elves.

 

[Teamleary]

happy for you and your recent trip=) Its exactly like Breeze said. Of all the forms of breakthrough, 2 two are the most confirming; one is the type that materializes into a solid state. You were travelling but then brokethrough into a solid state place, so basically you have an interactive TV in your brain that is on one of the weirdest channels youve ever seen. The second one that is confirming as hell is when you youre travelling and drop somewhere, reached destination; this trip is the T Mckenna famous trip report where he reports being in a dome with machine elves--ive been in this place, after thinking that trips must be unique to everyone and that what I was seeing was nothing like what T Mckenna described. But then it happened. Youll reached destination someday. You fall in the dome, be greeted by eveeeeryoooone, and be shown the most amazing things. I didnt notice any elves, never have for now, but they were machine things, infinitley complex, like some sort os strange interdimensional clocks, full of parts that are like swirling, magical, shining.

hey, thank you for that, FranLover!

I must ask you: does that happen eyes closed?

 

[FranLover]

Eyes closed. The visions can come full on with eyes open and overlap reality, but generally you get so dreamy that they close

 

[Teamleary]

Eyes closed. The visions can come full on with eyes open and overlap reality, but generally you get so dreamy that they close

Thanks : )

 

[DreadedShaman]

Eyes closed. The visions can come full on with eyes open and overlap reality, but generally you get so dreamy that they close

I'll see that. Realities very much overlap, with a strong breakthrough it shouldn't matter wether your eyes are open or closed.

 

[Teamleary]

I tried again tonight.
Same conditions except I didn't have a perfectly empty stomach.
This time, I resisted the desire to close my eyes to continue vaping hoping it would get me through, but it didn't.
Saw the now habitual pale geometric figures all around me, was pretty "frozen", but didn't get that "I'm getting sucked in some kind of mesmerizing maelstrom".

The weird/frustrating thing is that I'm positive I got the whole 25mg in the first 5 hits this time. So I really thought it was gonna take me "higher"!

Maybe next time!
I have to find a way to get that GVG!

 

[DreadedShaman]

I tried again tonight.
Same conditions except I didn't have a perfectly empty stomach.
This time, I resisted the desire to close my eyes to continue vaping hoping it would get me through, but it didn't.
Saw the now habitual pale geometric figures all around me, was pretty "frozen", but didn't get that "I'm getting sucked in some kind of mesmerizing maelstrom".

The weird/frustrating thing is that I'm positive I got the whole 25mg in the first 5 hits this time. So I really thought it was gonna take me "higher"!

Maybe next time!
I have to find a way to get that GVG!

Five hits?!?

You gotta get all 25mg in one hit instead! You're missing your window i feel like.

Try changa, it opens that window up a little wider.

Also, although I will say I've broken through with as little as 15 mg of freebase, my go to for sure breakthrough is at least 30mg

 

[breeze225]

OK YEH 5 hits with 25 mgs just wont do! at least for me! 25 mgs in 1 hit wont do! yeh the quicker you do it the quicker your launched! Most of the time I would rather go gently than being launched (although being shot out of a cannon is fun at some times) what I do since I use my dab rig is take playing card fold in half this way I can measure hits but have them ready to go...if I feel like going gentle I put 25mgs on 1 card then 10-15 mgs on another card....I will have a few of the 10-15 mgs cards ready to go always set up more than ill need cause well nothing worse than being 1 more hit away from a breakthrough...ill have them loaded up...25 mgs hold it in for 10 seconds as soon as I breathe out I grab the next card and so on and so on basicly until I litterly cant do it anymore cause I will spill it all over. usually its 4-5 cards total before I cant do more. However I have done more than that by loading the cards a lil heavier....also this is with white crystal if its the yellow goo-y stuff it takes more!

I started out thinking the same thing I was told 25-30mgs and your done! but I think I was told that cause they knew I was new and thought I should get my feet wet first wich I am glad they did lol....Try this next time take 25mgs in 1 hit and have another 10 ready to go....feel it out and increase from there....

And I will deffinitly agree with what fran lover said about the "solid state" at some point the geometric pattern subsides and you see clear image's poking through within a second or 2 of that (assuming dose is right) the patterns completely go away and its like the BEST HIGH DEF tv you will ever see...PLUS oh yeh like franlover said its interactive!!

 

[WarpedDimension]

When I opened my eyes, I had a big laugh and immediately thought « where was I?

The cosmic joke! Sounds like you got a bit of the punchline anyway! It feels so good to laugh after DMT. It comes from the belly and is truly authentic. The tears can come in as well authentically. The fear can come in authentically. No brushing it under the rug. Emotions play a huge part in the experience IMO. I had a hard time with the emotional aspect of DMT at first. I found it is best to feel those feeling when they come up as authentically as they do. Don't get in your own way.

:lol: :d :lol:

P.S. OP.. I gave you a thumbs up for full member! I like how you are approaching these experiences and I would like to hear more from you in the future!
:thumb_up:

 

[FranLover]

25mg in 5 tokes :|

 

[Teamleary]

I tried again tonight.
Same conditions except I didn't have a perfectly empty stomach.
This time, I resisted the desire to close my eyes to continue vaping hoping it would get me through, but it didn't.
Saw the now habitual pale geometric figures all around me, was pretty "frozen", but didn't get that "I'm getting sucked in some kind of mesmerizing maelstrom".

The weird/frustrating thing is that I'm positive I got the whole 25mg in the first 5 hits this time. So I really thought it was gonna take me "higher"!

Maybe next time!
I have to find a way to get that GVG!

Five hits?!?

You gotta get all 25mg in one hit instead! You're missing your window i feel like.

Try changa, it opens that window up a little wider.

Also, although I will say I've broken through with as little as 15 mg of freebase, my go to for sure breakthrough is at least 30mg

Yeah, I think you're right. I was you afraid it's a device issue. Because my hits are pretty much as deep as a human lung can take. Or maybe it's a temperature thing. Maybe I ought to try 170/180° to see if I can get it all in one, but I doubt it. The dude who's supposed to lend me the GVG does not answer... I have some changa left, but I can't seem to smoke it. I've bought a glass pipe just for that, it just doesn't "burn properly". Maybe it's a lighter issue then!

As you say, I realize that the "window" is small!

 

[Teamleary]

When I opened my eyes, I had a big laugh and immediately thought « where was I?

The cosmic joke! Sounds like you got a bit of the punchline anyway! It feels so good to laugh after DMT. It comes from the belly and is truly authentic. The tears can come in as well authentically. The fear can come in authentically. No brushing it under the rug. Emotions play a huge part in the experience IMO. I had a hard time with the emotional aspect of DMT at first. I found it is best to feel those feeling when they come up as authentically as they do. Don't get in your own way.

:lol: :d :lol:

P.S. OP.. I gave you a thumbs up for full member! I like how you are approaching these experiences and I would like to hear more from you in the future!
:thumb_up:

Thank you for your answer and support!

I don't know what to think of emotions. Sometime, on acid, it's what I miss, for instance. I wanna be moved, because I feel there's a kind of understanding in emotion. Sometime, I think it gets in the way, it blocks me...

 

[Teamleary]

OK YEH 5 hits with 25 mgs just wont do! at least for me! 25 mgs in 1 hit wont do! yeh the quicker you do it the quicker your launched! Most of the time I would rather go gently than being launched (although being shot out of a cannon is fun at some times) what I do since I use my dab rig is take playing card fold in half this way I can measure hits but have them ready to go...if I feel like going gentle I put 25mgs on 1 card then 10-15 mgs on another card....I will have a few of the 10-15 mgs cards ready to go always set up more than ill need cause well nothing worse than being 1 more hit away from a breakthrough...ill have them loaded up...25 mgs hold it in for 10 seconds as soon as I breathe out I grab the next card and so on and so on basicly until I litterly cant do it anymore cause I will spill it all over. usually its 4-5 cards total before I cant do more. However I have done more than that by loading the cards a lil heavier....also this is with white crystal if its the yellow goo-y stuff it takes more!

I started out thinking the same thing I was told 25-30mgs and your done! but I think I was told that cause they knew I was new and thought I should get my feet wet first wich I am glad they did lol....Try this next time take 25mgs in 1 hit and have another 10 ready to go....feel it out and increase from there....

And I will deffinitly agree with what fran lover said about the "solid state" at some point the geometric pattern subsides and you see clear image's poking through within a second or 2 of that (assuming dose is right) the patterns completely go away and its like the BEST HIGH DEF tv you will ever see...PLUS oh yeh like franlover said its interactive!!

thanks for all the advices. I need another device in order to do all that...

 

[breeze225]

yeh I am not very familiar with that one....never got into the portable thing much just use my enail and dab rig for most stuff