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Why do I panic?

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childofthetao

childofthetao

Calvin
I want to experience the wonder that everyone talks about, but when I take a hit of DMT I feel like I am going crazy and panic sets in. It prevents me from smoking more because it feels so... horrible.
When it's over I feel glad to be alive, and grateful, as though I've just avoided death/insanity.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
 
It sounds like the first time I did it. I had kept my eyes open and everything got aggressively confusing until it calmed down and I was just happy to be back in common reality. The next times were better. I closed my eyes, laid back and let the trip happen. That was the key for me, to let go of control and allow myself to be a spectator to the spectacle. Only from that position did things slow down enough for me to interact a bit. That being said, I haven't done it often, just my two cents.

How are you approaching the trips?
 
I have/had the same problem with psychedelics. It's the "reality shift" that makes one feel like they're going insane; it's really just the context of your awareness (ego) is dissolving slightly, which can be a bit dissociating and alarming. Just be willing to allow whatever sensations or mental states that occur to be, but do not "be them". Allow yourself to let go of the need to maintain control, and realize that even if you went insane (you probably wont), it's just something that happened and having worried about it before hand didn't do anything to change it. It's not good or bad, it just is. Practice and get used to the feeling and head-space of psychedelics. It's definitely peculiar, but relieving once you cede the need to control your reality (which isn't "yours" -- reality, like your true self, merely "is", and so you are reality, which needs no control).

-- Wanderer
 
Well said once again, Wanderer.

First of all, I would say very simply that DMT isn't for everyone. It may or may not be for you, but there's certainly no shame if it ain't. There's no need to force it if you are feeling it's not your cup of tea. I'm not of the mind that everyone needs to see what's behind the curtain.

Secondly, what you're describing succinctly captures a universal DMT paradox - which is that in order to reach the eye of the hurricane, you first must experience death. The ego reacts with fight or flight as it feels itself under attack, but propelling yourself into a space where "you" no longer exist means allowing the only you that you know to be blowed the fuck up, so to speak. Of course, the irony here is that once you've shed your meat sack and earthly identity, you are free to experience the collective bliss of the all existing as one. There is nothing quite as scary as removing that fucking suit, and nothing quite as liberating, once you're able to actually do so.

If you are truly determined to take the leap, I suggest the buddy method. Weigh out your dose, lay back in bed, let your friend or guide manage the delivery system. Commit to everything before you begin and then just switch on over to autopilot. Have your partner keep you accountable, then close your eyes and goooooooooooooooooo...
 
However we approach the thoughtless state, ultimately there is no "I" to panic.
Practice makes perfect....this is the ultimate journey, stay the course.
 
Some people don't like the feeling of a sub-breakthrough experience and actually feel more comfortable with a full on breakthrough. For those, a little does nothing, a bit more is unplesant but even more is blissful. As far as fear, SWIM can't think of a reason not to be fearful when the envelop is pushed so far. A little trust might be required to take such a leap. It is a bit of a conundrum. Red pill or blue pill? Who's to say which is better? There's no right answer, only a choice. And...er, practice does make perfect. Technique and familiarity matter greatly.

SWIM is sure you will choose well for yourself. Be well.
 
People often say about 'letting go' to achieve breakthrough. What does that actually entail?

Is it a case of physically or mentally taking a deep breath and releasing tension built up in your body?
Does one feel physical tension in their body (if they still have one) coming upto breakthrough which they can let go off?
It seems a lot of the time people don't know they've smoked DMT (or perhaps they still would at a sub-breakthrough dose) and therefore it would be near impossible to let go if you thought you were simply going to die. Obviously if you were aware you had smoked DMT then you would understand that this 'dying' phase is part of the DMT experience and then be able to attempt letting go more effectively.
 
What Wanderer said. An excellent explanation of the abstraction of the psychedelic experience, where your handle on reality slides as the drug takes hold. So long as you're travelling with humility, and have paid careful attention to set, setting, dosage etc, then everything should be in your favour to return from the experience with something useful to ponder.
 
Entheojen said:
People often say about 'letting go' to achieve breakthrough. What does that actually entail?
Click to expand...

For me, the onset prior to breaking through is traumatic on every level. For all intents and purposes, it is death that I experience. And it's not a going quietly into that good night kind of a deal; it's something more akin to a cross between drowning and electrocution. It's loud and violent and real as hell - and yes, it's intensely physical. I may or may not have any idea of what has lead me to this state, but there is nothing to do when it comes but submit. The alternative is too horrifying to consider.

Again, this all comes back to preparation, and attention to set and setting. You are much more likely to have a positive experience all around if you've done the work back at base camp to maximize your chances. When you go, you go. You can try to carry a mantra of love and acceptance into the space, but these concepts tend to lose their meaning. All you can do is try to turn off your inner monologue and flow with the metamorphosis. Then you cross that invisible line, and kaboom... you are out of the way.
 
blah blah blah amygdala 5ht1a receptor fear conditioning blah blah blah
(amygdala is involved in fear conditioning and DMT binds to almost every type of 5ht receptor. Anyone who wants to know more can google some of those terms.)
 
Shayku said:
How are you approaching the trips?
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but I don't understand the question, and I never pay attention to set and setting, I don't really know what that means.

I read a lot about astral projection/out of body and it entails breaking through a fear barrier, maybe I just have to overcome this somehow, I do after all allow myself to be ruled by fear, it's the only emotion I have experience with, the only one it seems I can experience.

The overcoming of this fear could end up being very therapeutic, it could carry over into my life. I find it so hard to face my fears, and I am completely surrounded by them, an unfortunate metaphor for me is a caged panicking animal (unless I'm alone and safe, then I simply feel nothing).

The fear(s) have been with me since the womb and has seriously hindered my development from primal raw energy (baby) into a human, hence me feeling like an animal (I think, it doesn't make perfect sense to me but I get impressions).

Thanks for the responses everyone, I'm just going to have to... try.
 
childofthetao said:
I do after all allow myself to be ruled by fear, it's the only emotion I have experience with, the only one it seems I can experience.
Click to expand...

If you're human (i hope you are and not just a DMT interested robot posting in this forum 😉) than i'm pretty sure you can experience other emotions than fear...i guess that the fear is just dominating all other (positive) sensations.

DMT will magnify your actual mindframe (this is the set) by 10000000000000. So if you're not feeling well right now, then prepare yourself for some fearfull experiences.
 
childofthetao said:
Shayku said:
How are you approaching the trips?
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but I don't understand the question, and I never pay attention to set and setting, I don't really know what that means.
Click to expand...

He's probably looking for information related to how much you smoke at one time and how quickly you smoke it. Vaping 40mg in a glass bulb and inhaling it in one breath will feel much different than inhaling it in three breaths. Each time your heart beats while you are holding DMT in your lungs it will mean DMT will be pumped across your blood brain barrier. (More DMT in lungs --> more DMT crossing per heartbeat).

Long story short, I found that doing either smaller doses or doing them over a long period of time made it more likely for it to be enjoyable and less likely to be harrowing.
 
Newfound_wonder said:
childofthetao said:
Shayku said:
How are you approaching the trips?
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but I don't understand the question, and I never pay attention to set and setting, I don't really know what that means.
Click to expand...

He's probably looking for information related to how much you smoke at one time and how quickly you smoke it. Vaping 40mg in a glass bulb and inhaling it in one breath will feel much different than inhaling it in three breaths. Each time your heart beats while you are holding DMT in your lungs it will mean DMT will be pumped across your blood brain barrier. (More DMT in lungs --> more DMT crossing per heartbeat).

Long story short, I found that doing either smaller doses or doing them over a long period of time made it more likely for it to be enjoyable and less likely to be harrowing.
Click to expand...

Yes, that, but also set and setting. Do you launch alone? Do you have music playing? Once you've inhaled, do you close your eyes? Are you sitting down, or lying down? Are you doing this in your room? Are other people in the house who's presence might bother you? Or are you in the woods, alone? What do you think about just before? Is it a struggle to force yourself to do it, or do you take deep breaths, waiting for the mind to be calm, making yourself receptive? Maybe I'm just difficult, but I tend to place a lot of importance on these things. I need my mind to feel supple before I launch, because I know it'll be a shock if it's not.

Entheojen - for me, letting go is partly physical, yes. This might be because I have a regular yoga practice, but I find that mental grips tend to be reflected in the body, and letting go of muscles also loosens up mental states. But ultimately, it is a mental thing. A kind of abandonment where you're ok with anything happening to you, you offer your-self, and once the trip begins, it can be a challenge to stay in that state, but it's something to come back to. The only thing to come back to, really, as you can never look away from the experience anyway.

And I fully agree with Art, it also feels like drowning and being electrocuted to me, but the more I let that happen to me, the better I seem to emerge on the other side in that morphing space of color and alien presence. Mantras seem absurd to me when I'm in there. The only thing is focus and abandonment.
 
Uncle Knucles said:
Entheojen said:
People often say about 'letting go' to achieve breakthrough. What does that actually entail?
Click to expand...

For me, the onset prior to breaking through is traumatic on every level. For all intents and purposes, it is death that I experience. And it's not a going quietly into that good night kind of a deal; it's something more akin to a cross between drowning and electrocution. It's loud and violent and real as hell - and yes, it's intensely physical. I may or may not have any idea of what has lead me to this state, but there is nothing to do when it comes but submit. The alternative is too horrifying to consider.

Again, this all comes back to preparation, and attention to set and setting. You are much more likely to have a positive experience all around if you've done the work back at base camp to maximize your chances. When you go, you go. You can try to carry a mantra of love and acceptance into the space, but these concepts tend to lose their meaning. All you can do is try to turn off your inner monologue and flow with the metamorphosis. Then you cross that invisible line, and kaboom... you are out of the way.
Click to expand...


Awesome reply. My first thought was, "What have you done with the REAL Uncle Knucles?" Clearly if you can craft a response like this for someone who is hurting, I don't know what I'm talking about. Your honesty and insights here are profound and I hope those experiencing panic and having difficulty understanding will pay attention to it.
 
The First 6 months of swims DMT experiences were filled with panic, terror, confusion, and the always present pre-flight fear to even sparking this bowl. What all made it change was when swim finally tried a easy breathing excersize, just slow deep breaths in and slow exhale, over and over for about 5 minutes, you feel all your nerves calm. Just keep a hand on your stomach feeling it go up and down, then when you feel your calm and collective, look at your DMT and thank it for what its about to show you. Take your hit or hits, and then put your hand back on your stomach and try to follow that same breathing pattern. swim had bad experiences till swim figured that out, when swim did, swim had his first breakthrough, and after that swim have been as giddy as a schoolgirl to to it again and again.

Much peace and love.
 
Lodi, I will definitely try your breathing technique, hopefully tonight. I'll also be making more than one attempt as was advised in the other thread someone linked to.

My set and setting is usually random, although I've only smoked DMT a handful of times. I do prefer to be alone, I have a social phobia and am only fully comfortable alone, and when I do spice I need maximum comfort.

After yesterdays attempt (with a very small amount (maybe 10mg/15mg) of which I inhaled half) I realised that dim lighting is a benefit, lots of the fear and confusion was based on what I was seeing, I lost my comprehension of distance, I didn't know what my face was or whether it was or wasn't what I was looking at...

teotenakeltje said:
DMT will magnify your actual mindframe (this is the set) by 10000000000000. So if you're not feeling well right now, then prepare yourself for some fearfull experiences.
Click to expand...

This is why I must face this and overcome it as it is, because I will never be feeling well (but maybe on the other side I can feel... right?)

I'll let you all know how it goes tonight, I hope to god I don't wuss out. Every now and then I go back to my bong, stick my nose in it and take a big breath. I'm trying to get myself accustomed to the smell, and stop associating it with discomfort so I don't get put off smoking it when I smell it.
 
Most of us who use DMT do so because we believe we’re getting something positive out of the experience. It doesn’t sound like you’re getting anything positive at all. Maybe if you persevere you will, and maybe not.

It might help to look more closely at your motivations.
 
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