Every time SWIM smokes Changa, SWIM goes through these 3 general stages. It happens with or without harmalas or aya.
Stage 1: Hell
Visuals begin. SWIM's ego feels like it's dieing and it's trying everything to stay alive. Racing heart with racing thoughts, "Why did you do this? You should stop now! What are you doing?!". Visuals are fast moving, lots of mechanical like motions being performed by aliens, often motherly figures. SWIM is very scared at this point even though SWIM expects it. Consciously SWIM tries to calm down, but can't. Mechanically moving spiders run over the field of vision and dark outlines of snakes everywhere. In retrospect only, this feels like some kind of hyperspace "barrier" that is supposed to scare SWIM away, and if SWIM don't dose high enough, it will. If SWIM doses higher or hits the pipe again at this point then SWIM can get to stage 2.
Stage 2: The Washing
The visuals melt away into SWIM being cleaned by a bunch of aliens. SWIM is being washed and sprayed like a new prisoner going to jail, naked, water hose blasting, except I’m not going to jail. SWIM begins to feel really good, SWIM loves this feeling of being taken care of. SWIM lets go and feels the presence through SWIM’s body. This seems to have to happen for some length of time, as if SWIM didn't dose high enough, the aliens won't get to finish the cleaning and processing of SWIM and so SWIM has to get washed again after SWIM re-doses. Before SWIM get re-washed though, SWIM has to again go through the hell of stage 1. If SWIM dosed high enough, SWIM will go to stage 3.
Stage 3: Home and the Journey
SWIM kind of forgets that SWIM did DMT, and SWIM have this intense feeling of being in SWIM’s true home. SWIM is now calm, heart rate finally dropped to normal. The cleaning has stopped from stage 2, I've been "processed" and I'm ready for the trip now. At this point, SWIM will be whisked away to some wonderful or interesting experience, or be coming back down from the trip. If SWIM re-dose here, SWIM does not have to go through hell and the washing again, SWIM just goes right to a beautiful or interesting place in hyperspace without anxiety or stress. SWIM can re-dose for hours at this point.
SWIM wants to shorten stage 1 and 2. The answer is likely to dose higher to begin with. Maybe DMT is like a cold swimming pool, you can torture yourself trying to get in slowly, or you can just jump in and the case of DMT, forget that you're even in a pool. The jumping in method is so intimidating for SWIM. SWIM's jumped in deep before a couple times, but it's a little intense.
SWIM is hoping that over time getting healed and washed, SWIM won't need to go through as much stage 1 and 2 in the future. Is it possible stage 1 is a representation of SWIM's anxiety and stage 2 is SWIM needing psychological healing? If SWIM can resolve those, they might shorten in severity or length or go away?
Does anyone else have a process like this, and has it ever changed on you over time as your relationship with DMT progressed?
Stage 1: Hell
Visuals begin. SWIM's ego feels like it's dieing and it's trying everything to stay alive. Racing heart with racing thoughts, "Why did you do this? You should stop now! What are you doing?!". Visuals are fast moving, lots of mechanical like motions being performed by aliens, often motherly figures. SWIM is very scared at this point even though SWIM expects it. Consciously SWIM tries to calm down, but can't. Mechanically moving spiders run over the field of vision and dark outlines of snakes everywhere. In retrospect only, this feels like some kind of hyperspace "barrier" that is supposed to scare SWIM away, and if SWIM don't dose high enough, it will. If SWIM doses higher or hits the pipe again at this point then SWIM can get to stage 2.
Stage 2: The Washing
The visuals melt away into SWIM being cleaned by a bunch of aliens. SWIM is being washed and sprayed like a new prisoner going to jail, naked, water hose blasting, except I’m not going to jail. SWIM begins to feel really good, SWIM loves this feeling of being taken care of. SWIM lets go and feels the presence through SWIM’s body. This seems to have to happen for some length of time, as if SWIM didn't dose high enough, the aliens won't get to finish the cleaning and processing of SWIM and so SWIM has to get washed again after SWIM re-doses. Before SWIM get re-washed though, SWIM has to again go through the hell of stage 1. If SWIM dosed high enough, SWIM will go to stage 3.
Stage 3: Home and the Journey
SWIM kind of forgets that SWIM did DMT, and SWIM have this intense feeling of being in SWIM’s true home. SWIM is now calm, heart rate finally dropped to normal. The cleaning has stopped from stage 2, I've been "processed" and I'm ready for the trip now. At this point, SWIM will be whisked away to some wonderful or interesting experience, or be coming back down from the trip. If SWIM re-dose here, SWIM does not have to go through hell and the washing again, SWIM just goes right to a beautiful or interesting place in hyperspace without anxiety or stress. SWIM can re-dose for hours at this point.
SWIM wants to shorten stage 1 and 2. The answer is likely to dose higher to begin with. Maybe DMT is like a cold swimming pool, you can torture yourself trying to get in slowly, or you can just jump in and the case of DMT, forget that you're even in a pool. The jumping in method is so intimidating for SWIM. SWIM's jumped in deep before a couple times, but it's a little intense.
SWIM is hoping that over time getting healed and washed, SWIM won't need to go through as much stage 1 and 2 in the future. Is it possible stage 1 is a representation of SWIM's anxiety and stage 2 is SWIM needing psychological healing? If SWIM can resolve those, they might shorten in severity or length or go away?
Does anyone else have a process like this, and has it ever changed on you over time as your relationship with DMT progressed?