Macronaut
Rising Star
well, im not sure where to begin so i'll give it my best shot... (btw english is not my native language so excuse me for any mistake)
i've been willing to write a post since my first experience with ayahuasca, but never got the chance, i made some integration, but nothing more than a nice long conversation with my mom and a couple of drawings but nothing more. I felt really fine with the experience but that's it, like woking up from a pleasant long long dream, as a first timer i wasn't expecting much so what i got was ok. Later on I began my research on DMT, primarily on this site. I learnt a lot and was willing to try it vaporized. Anyways... i got the chance, first time burned it, second, third... not much of a difference. I'm using a freebase pipe, which i read is a hard one to master, tried to get a GVG but it's really hard to get where i live so i thought practice makes the master, or something like that. It actually came true. Found out a torch lighter makes everything so much easier, and with patience, i kind of got the hang of it.
So, I was watching Enter the Void with a friend and at the end we where both somewhat exited to try it together, so we did. He went on first, we came up with the idea of using a blindfold and headphones with what we think would relax us, I held the pipe and lighter for him so he wouldn't had to worry about anything but to let go. He isn't much of an expressive guy so when he came back, all i got was: "it's pretty intense, I saw all these colors" kind of a bummer for me since i was the one "teaching" him. We did the same thing, switching places, what i got was more like a mild hallucination, I've read and heard about a tunnel, mandalas, etc. NOTHING. Just a bunch of colors swirling around in god knows what, came back feeling relaxed and more less happy about it. That was it? no breakthrough? no machine elves? NOPE, just that.
I felt like i should give it some time, maybe i was doing something wrong, like expecting something i wasn't supposed to get. So I put the pipe down for a month maybe and when it's time it will be THE time. (if that makes sense)
Today i got home from work tired so i laid back and played video games, it felt boring, like i was wasting my time, so made myself a sandwich and said: "you know? now would be a perfect night to listen to Terence McKenna". So I did, at the end of the video i was watching/listening i was really excited to give another try.
What happened next? I just cannot describe it, everything was there, even the high pitch sound at the back of my head which i have read before but never got to experience, my mind was blown, I was no longer here, man... I wish i could describe it, everything was so beautiful yet strange yet familiar, i belonged there, I saw all this faces and... i don't know entities? beings? it was somehow a room, like a nursing room, i kept bursting through and found myself here in my room, my actual room! but everything was so perfectly made, so symmetrical, so sharp, as soon as i closed my eyes i was in another room! something more erotic-like a lot of black and red (my fav colors) and things like furniture made of some kind of tubing? like taken out of a Tim Burton's film, i was there! opened my eyes once more, back im my apartment, I knew i was back because everything was starting to look bulky and blurry (i took off my glasses before smoking) I turned back to look at myself in the mirror, my face was swirling with colors like a Van Gogh painting, but i knew it would only take a minute to everything came back to this "reality"
I began to cry, my eyes were soaking wet, i haven't felt like this since i were i kid, so full of joy and love and happiness, i wish i could stay there forever.
I have a few questions though... did I really opened my eyes? or it was all part of the trip? I can't tell
everything was so real, i had a hard time (for a minute or two) asking myself I've actually came back.
does any of this ring a bell on someone?
btw... i just turned 10,000 days old, and like Tool says: "Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough, you're going home" I found this coincidence really overwhelming, just saying
(Sorry for the LONG post)
i've been willing to write a post since my first experience with ayahuasca, but never got the chance, i made some integration, but nothing more than a nice long conversation with my mom and a couple of drawings but nothing more. I felt really fine with the experience but that's it, like woking up from a pleasant long long dream, as a first timer i wasn't expecting much so what i got was ok. Later on I began my research on DMT, primarily on this site. I learnt a lot and was willing to try it vaporized. Anyways... i got the chance, first time burned it, second, third... not much of a difference. I'm using a freebase pipe, which i read is a hard one to master, tried to get a GVG but it's really hard to get where i live so i thought practice makes the master, or something like that. It actually came true. Found out a torch lighter makes everything so much easier, and with patience, i kind of got the hang of it.
So, I was watching Enter the Void with a friend and at the end we where both somewhat exited to try it together, so we did. He went on first, we came up with the idea of using a blindfold and headphones with what we think would relax us, I held the pipe and lighter for him so he wouldn't had to worry about anything but to let go. He isn't much of an expressive guy so when he came back, all i got was: "it's pretty intense, I saw all these colors" kind of a bummer for me since i was the one "teaching" him. We did the same thing, switching places, what i got was more like a mild hallucination, I've read and heard about a tunnel, mandalas, etc. NOTHING. Just a bunch of colors swirling around in god knows what, came back feeling relaxed and more less happy about it. That was it? no breakthrough? no machine elves? NOPE, just that.
I felt like i should give it some time, maybe i was doing something wrong, like expecting something i wasn't supposed to get. So I put the pipe down for a month maybe and when it's time it will be THE time. (if that makes sense)
Today i got home from work tired so i laid back and played video games, it felt boring, like i was wasting my time, so made myself a sandwich and said: "you know? now would be a perfect night to listen to Terence McKenna". So I did, at the end of the video i was watching/listening i was really excited to give another try.
What happened next? I just cannot describe it, everything was there, even the high pitch sound at the back of my head which i have read before but never got to experience, my mind was blown, I was no longer here, man... I wish i could describe it, everything was so beautiful yet strange yet familiar, i belonged there, I saw all this faces and... i don't know entities? beings? it was somehow a room, like a nursing room, i kept bursting through and found myself here in my room, my actual room! but everything was so perfectly made, so symmetrical, so sharp, as soon as i closed my eyes i was in another room! something more erotic-like a lot of black and red (my fav colors) and things like furniture made of some kind of tubing? like taken out of a Tim Burton's film, i was there! opened my eyes once more, back im my apartment, I knew i was back because everything was starting to look bulky and blurry (i took off my glasses before smoking) I turned back to look at myself in the mirror, my face was swirling with colors like a Van Gogh painting, but i knew it would only take a minute to everything came back to this "reality"
I began to cry, my eyes were soaking wet, i haven't felt like this since i were i kid, so full of joy and love and happiness, i wish i could stay there forever.
I have a few questions though... did I really opened my eyes? or it was all part of the trip? I can't tell
everything was so real, i had a hard time (for a minute or two) asking myself I've actually came back.
does any of this ring a bell on someone?
btw... i just turned 10,000 days old, and like Tool says: "Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough, you're going home" I found this coincidence really overwhelming, just saying
(Sorry for the LONG post)
