Accepting humans as they are

[livinglife]

I have a major question to ask you people,, I have noticed there is a lot of smart brains on this forum and I rather ask on this forum then go to the doctor, because I know they wont support my questions and vision on life. ( I have tried, and they suggested medicine )

The thing is, I really don't fit in with the people on my job. I'm so different compared to them, I can't say I'm any "better", because everybody has their own way. But I mainly like to talk about the deep stuff, personal stuff, but the topic on my job is cars, money, and what they watched on TV. Everyday is like this, and I'm getting depressed by it. I'm getting mad and pissed off because It's like the only important thing for them.

When that happens, I end up sitting in silence, absorbing the atmosphere. Silence is better than bullshit? I feel like an alien..

I have tried so hard to fit in, and the only way to do it is to "play" a long, but I wont do that to myself, I wont change just to fit in. The people are nice and funny, but I feel something is missing. It's like they are feeding on my energy and when I come home I'm super tired in my hole body and soul. When that happens I need t be alone for a while to gain power. I work out and I eat healthy btw.

Sometimes , "almost" every day, someone complain. It's okey to complain now and then but in a degree. Well, when they do I try to make them happy, be supportive for them, but it won't help and they keep on doing the same thing over and over again, and then I lose hope in them and my job, and I fall back to the depressive mode :?

Any tips? Can I trick myself to handle this? Is it me? Is it them? I don't wanna give up.

LL

 

[112233]

Do you like your job? It doesn't sound like it, in which case a change of jobs would solve a lot of your problems. You don't need to try and fit in. I know from my own experience since I've never fit in, growing up and all during whatever job I've been at. So I played the drone for a spell, did my job, in silent obscurity, then went home to pursue my own interests. I eventually got a job doing what I love--riding my bike--and during the next six years I worked as a bike messenger. The pay sucked, but I was among people I could relate to me and vis versa. I still didn't, and don't, "fit in", nor have I ever wanted to. I don't work as a messenger anymore, and I still make very little money and can relate to almost no one, but I am still able to get along well enough with people even though I feel like a different species, an alien freak in human form. No big deal, though, I enjoy the solitude.

Sounds like you have some psychic vampires at your work, or you are unusually sensitive, like a sponge, to the emotions of others. As a general practice, before leaving the house each day, take a moment and visualize pearly-white bubble surrounding your body, like an egg. Then imagine the pearlescent egg forming a mirror outer shell. This will be your etheric "shield", and should provide a semblance of protection, if only on the placebo level. Remember, your imagination is the most powerful tool you have, and while this may sound like a cooky new age platitude, it does seem to work. Every so often, while at work, you can always take a few seconds to re-visualize and strengthen your shield.

 

[zhoro]

Hello, livinglife!

Accepting people as they are does not mean staying in situations that are not conducive to growth. It may mean exactly accepting the fact that this is not the right environment for you and then taking the appropriate action to find a better one. I will hazard a guess that at least part of the reason you are staying in this environment is that you have invested much in getting there and don't feel it's easy to walk away from it. It may also be that there is a certain comfort you find in the familiarity of this environment and you are unsettled by the idea of going into an unfamiliar direction. If that is the case, may I suggest that life really feels alive only when you are in uncertain territory? Your current feelings may be showing you that you may have completed an episode and need to enter a new one.

On the other hand, it may be possible to discover much freshness in this same environment you feel resentful of if you change your attitude to it. Are you sure you are not just reacting to superficial clues and the lack of depth in your colleagues is not something you have convinced yourself of because you have been afraid to dig a little deeper? Have you tried opening up to anyone there about your interest in the deeper questions? You may be surprised at how much depth you can find others respond with once you make that step. You can inspire others to look deeper if you yourself act like you see deeper. People can feel these things and everyone has that potential in seed form in them. Why don't you be the candle that lights up other candles? Again, you may be surprised at how different your environment may start looking to you once you overcome some of your fears and are willing to go over your assumptions. This is another variant of the above point that you are not truly alive when you choose the comfort of certainty. Your assumptions about others are part of a certainty you may have sought to create for yourself, likely unconsciously, which has ultimately brought you discomfort which is a sign for you to move on from your certainty.

You need to expand what you feel comfortable with, one way or another. Part of accepting people as they are is accepting yourself as you are. Before you can do that, you must see clearly where you are. Good luck in your explorations! This is sure to be a wonderful journey of discovery, literally the stuff of legends - that's what all legends are about, ultimately.

 

[Warrior]

Have you considered making your life goal more about living a life that feels awesome (to you) everyday? I feel like you can't go wrong with that. Then it becomes obvious that working with cool people, and focusing your work energy on things that get you excited in some capacity are infinitely more rewarding than this notion of making lots of money (so you can do the awesome stuff in your spare time). I feel like western culture is missing the point on this one with the whole '40 hours of suffering per week' thing.

But yeah, we definitely have to accept humans as they are. I think of it like spending time with children. It's cruel and pointless to hold it against them that they don't understand adult matters. It doesn't make any sense to even think they SHOULD understand. They've either had to have been taught by a spiritually-wise elder from childhood on, or would have had to have some kind of spiritual awakening on their own, or they would have had to have done some serious self examination with psychedelics to understand. And usually it's obvious who understands and who doesn't. We just have to accept them all with open arms.

 

[universecannon]

This is something millions of people have felt in many many different situations, on many different levels. This seems especially true of psychedelic people since in general they get a bigger glimpse beyond these culturally generated reality-tunnels most of us typically inhabit.

I can't say what you should do since I don't know much about your situation. But if it were me I guess i'd start trying to find a way to support myself through doing something that I love, or can at least feel good about. It may sound impossible, and the road may be a harder path that isn't as financially rewarding, but in the end it can be more than worth it.

We all feel the social urge to 'fit in' and be 'normal', but there can come a point where that urge is misplaced and doing us a disservice... and we would benefit more by breaking free of that impulse and fulfilling our lives elsewhere in a more positive context that resonates with our life and perspective in a deeper way. It can be hard, especially at first, to break out of these sorts of social circles and ways of thinking. But it gets much easier.

I'd forget about trying to be normal by societies standards, or your co-workers...These days "normal" in that context usually means something along the lines of a brainwashed and brain-dead cog in the system, when it really comes down to it.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" Krishnamurti

And besides... as RAW used to say- you will never find a dog, person, molecule, galaxy, or anything else in this entire universe that could ever truly be considered Normal :d

 

[thymamai]

google "crystal child", see what you think. People every where believe all kinds of ridiculous sounding things, it might benefit you a while to allow yourself a small measure of insanity to cope with it all while you find your way. Best of luck.

 

[Rrryan]

From my experience feeling similarly, I think the loneliness of that perspective is a major problem.

I bet you'll be able to take some of the actions needed to better integrate as a special/psychedelic/heady/odder person in society if you make an effort to break out of the 'I'm an alien' thinking by engaging with some of those people more. Find something you can relate to with them over, even if just a bit, and just roll with more conversation.

Then you can consider things like choosing your culture and work environment from a less desperate perspective.

 

[livinglife]

So many beautiful answers here, thank you everybody, that means a lot to me!

Gonna try my best to give you answers.

Well Rryan, I think the loneliness of that perspective maby have a "small" affect indeed, I have had trouble with Drugs a couple years in fact, always loved to escape from reality and discover the unknown on the other side. But on the other hand, I have things that I love in life, I'm a artist, music producer and DJ, and on the music front I'm getting closer to my goal, gonna play my first gig next summer. I have never been in a such great position like this, but simultaneously not positive.

But I will think about what you said Ryyan.


I have always been super sensitive to others for many years, my mom as well, we have the same "issues" and talk about it a lot. As soon a person comes into my house I can feel how they are, I have one friend who I know have some bad energy issues, when he sits with me, it is like a wall is getting build up between us, a feeling of getting pushed away from him, and it's difficult to make eye contact. Everything he talk about is crime, weapons, dealing, violence and so on, but he have a nice side that I'm trying to get out.

He tripped with me on Psilocybe on time, and he wanted to play a game, something I really don't like at ALL ore see the point doing when you are taking psychedelic, and the game included violence. I forced myself to do this to support the presence of my friend, and I noticed my inner soul started to cry, my tears rushed down my face, and I realised I am really a soul inside a human body. I needed to puke, and get away from him, and had some time alone in my bathroom. How can he enjoy this? I have spent very little time with him after this.


I analyse everything, and have a urge to help people to get in harmony, I feel it's like my main goal in life, to make others happy and create pure love. I don't know why. I was always the silence kid in school monitoring from the outside, It was my way of learning, and understand life. I had problems to keep attention in class, because I ended up deep in my imagination.

I remember sometimes I could get a feeling off healing, bless, peace, like a stimulation, like a aura glowing around me with a super good feeling attached to it. The feeling was better than any "drug" I have experienced, pure, 100% pure love touching me, like a pulsating vibe.

This is something that slowly fayded away as I grew up, I have experienced it now and then in the last years as well, but never on that level.

Maby I'm to much in my mind, maby I got a delusion on how the world is, I'm not sure, and now I notice I wrote way to much.

But, as one of you was saying, I gonna start to accept people as they are, accept life as it is, and start thinking different, thinking has a huge impact on how we feel I have noticed.

And I gonna try the bubble thing

And 112233, I don't like my job. But have new plans for the summer, going a place to deepen my art skills and meet new people that I know is on the same road.

I'm open to everything, maby you see something that I don't see in the writing, if I have a problem I will humbly start to fix it.

And for the Star Cildren site, all the characteristics that was pointed out fits me. But I take everything with a pinch of salt, and don't want to set my self in a "oh, I'm so special" light.

And One last thing, sometimes, when I go to sleep, I get a intense fear, like something is in my room watching me. It's scary as hell, and then I usually the same night dream about getting killed, over and over again, to a point where I get used to it. And the next day I wake up and I'm super creative, new ideas arise and my energy is on top notch. Really weird.

Guess my life has been a pretty interesting life so far, and looking forward for more.

Nexians, Thank you so much for taking your time to read about this, you have no idea.

peace and love.

 

[hug46]

Everything he talk about is crime, weapons, dealing, violence and so on, but he have a nice side that I'm trying to get out.

He tripped with me on Psilocybe on time, and he wanted to play a game, something I really don't like at ALL ore see the point doing when you are taking psychedelic, and the game included violence. I forced myself to do this to support the presence of my friend, and I noticed my inner soul started to cry, my tears rushed down my face, and I realised I am really a soul inside a human body. I needed to puke, and get away from him, and had some time alone in my bathroom. How can he enjoy this? I have spent very little time with him after this.

Look on the positive side. At least you have learned that it is not good for you to trip around people that are into guns and violence (and i can"t say that i blame you).

I feel it's like my main goal in life, to make others happy and create pure love.

Good luck with that. You are a better person than i. At the end of the day some people get on each others nerves and i cannot see that ever going away. I understand that, for various reasons, we all have different views on the most productive way to spend our time on this planet but there are some people that i just cannot do the pure love thing for (unless i am drunk).

If you are happy with your work then interact and maybe laugh and joke about their petty materialistic values. Friendly banter is a great way of bonding with people that you feel that you have no similarities with. If you feel that they take offence to your light hearted derision then maybe the other members are right and you need to find a less emotionally taxing place of employment.

Or you could buy subscriptions to What Car magazine and Ideal Home and see what all the fuss is about. Maybe you will end up joining the darkside and buy a Porsche. The combination of horsepower and seductive design have often led to my moral decline and subsequent lightening of pockets.

 

[livinglife]

If you are happy with your work then interact and maybe laugh and joke about their petty materialistic values. Friendly banter is a great way of bonding with people that you feel that you have no similarities with. If you feel that they take offence to your light hearted derision then maybe the other members are right and you need to find a less emotionally taxing place of employment.

Nice tips, I know that works, have tried it, but lately forgot to interact. My boss told me that this work is ruff, the people here is hostile and crazy, he also said that he don't care about all this, and, it's something you have to get used to. So, I will try some more, and create my own world. Thanks.

Or you could buy subscriptions to What Car magazine and Ideal Home and see what all the fuss is about. Maybe you will end up joining the darkside and buy a Porsche. The combination of horsepower and seductive design have often led to my moral decline and subsequent lightening of pockets.

:lol:

 

[passnthru2]

never judge yourself by the actions or attitudes of other people. i have the same situation, i read a lot of books on my breaks and lunch time. check out your local 'MEET UP' website, that is where i socialize. i live in the South, i'm talking 'Deliverance"..

Meetup - Wikipedia

 

[SkyKitty]

Lots of great suggestions here.

I think knowing when not to speak or get involved in a social situation is actually a very important skill and a difficult one to master. It is so easy to get wrapped up in other people's stuff or feel like you need to intervene or teach them something.

As other suggested, maybe you can extend your support network to include other people that have no real connection to your work life - that way, you can, as much as one can, leave your work life at work.

And it is never too late to pick up a new skill, go back to school, or find new employment. Change is difficult but good! The challenge itself can make you stronger.