Take it together, same dose. Make sure you have a nice warm place to start and return to. Go walking in the parc (or so) when the MDMA is at full strength. From my experience a walk will loosen the mind and get things going. Enjoy the warm night outside.
Smoking hash is a good idea, works very well with MDMA, especially during the come up of the drug. 1g hash/weed per person, spread over the evening. No more, to avoid cloudy mind. Dont smoke to much of it during come down, can be depressing in my opinion (for my taste).
Dont take more then 100mg MDMA at one time, otherwise you and her will be bathing in total bliss with your eyes rolling in the back of your skull... instead of talking (therapy).
Also, since you, citta, know what MDMA is about, you should test it before hand. You dont want mCCP or the other crap (piperazines, amphetamines etc)that is out there. I love MDMA and i normally got good sources, still, even for me here in the Netherlands it is very though to get good quality MDMA these days... Your pupils should be extremely dialated, dry mouth, urinating should be difficult, skin on your head should be very sensitive, and your dick should be shrinking. Hmmm. Dunno about women on that one.. With piperazines you wont have dialated pupils etc.
MDMA should be pure euforia, empathy and inner warmth, dont settle for less.
Really, someone should test it before hand. Otherwise it will be big dissappointment. mCCP (rainbow) can make you really sick. And the other crap also isnt worth it.
The come down can be a hard contrast (imo) if you take only one dosis (100mg). Better to take another (100 or 50mg) when you are few hours into the first dosis. This will prolong the efects without adding too much eyerolling. More important, the contrast during come down will be less sharp (less depressing).
Make sure you bring some cola. The small amount of caffeine will add to the experience in a nice way. Also, you need it (fluid) for dry mouth, and rinsing the kidneys and other organs.
The first day after can be hard on the body. Feeling tired. Just talk and watch DVD together and smoke some hash. Take it easy. You will still feel the warmth. The second day (sometimes also the third) after can be 'unstable mind'. Suicide monday/tuesday ; ) If you know and anticipate this, you will get through without much problems.
Thats all i have to say to you about MDMA.
Have a good one