joebono
Rising Star
It has been over a month since my third breakthrough. That experience was overwhelming and caused a great deal of stress, anxiety, and panic. If you read about it back then I was ranting and raving, begging for it to end. But there was something there that drew me back, something there that seemed to pull me, seduce me, beckon me and call me into that place again. A few times this month I walked over to the pipe with cosmic intentions, but my heart would pound and my breath would become sharp and labored and I would retreat from the mere thought. I have never been so afraid of anything in my life except when I was child and deathly scared of the dark.
Today I loaded it up with 60mg of grayish, white FB and took one deeeep toke. I exhaled, blew the candle out, pulled down my blindfold and breathed.
My biggest fear was that I would stop breathing. I know this is a common problem to some hyperspace psychonauts, so I concentrated on the inhale and the exhale. It let me breathe the whole time as it took me to that place. I still can’t make any sense out of the moment, but I did not panic. I stayed safely in my bed, blindfold secured, breath constant, and watched. There was still some trepidation but I felt oddly detached from the strange world around me. My self dissolved except for the breathe. I think today’s trip was a training session, a breakthrough that held my hand and allowed to breathe and be aware of my functioning nervous system. It was as if it were telling me that it’s okay, see you are alive and safe.
Maybe I am ready to begin the deeper journeying.
Today I loaded it up with 60mg of grayish, white FB and took one deeeep toke. I exhaled, blew the candle out, pulled down my blindfold and breathed.
My biggest fear was that I would stop breathing. I know this is a common problem to some hyperspace psychonauts, so I concentrated on the inhale and the exhale. It let me breathe the whole time as it took me to that place. I still can’t make any sense out of the moment, but I did not panic. I stayed safely in my bed, blindfold secured, breath constant, and watched. There was still some trepidation but I felt oddly detached from the strange world around me. My self dissolved except for the breathe. I think today’s trip was a training session, a breakthrough that held my hand and allowed to breathe and be aware of my functioning nervous system. It was as if it were telling me that it’s okay, see you are alive and safe.
Maybe I am ready to begin the deeper journeying.
