Another newbie ibogaine/mental health question

[axl617]

Hi to anyone who may be reading this, I'm considering taking some root bark to help me better cope with a severe depression and possibly anxiety.

I have had minor experience with the TA form before, I took 1 gram of it in two sittings over two days. This method was crude and badly planned and I did not enjoy my mild trips at all, I actually experienced a lot of death anxiety on it. However I did feel that afterglow for several days which was by no means life changing, but something that in my current state could benefit me a lot.

I've had depression for 4 years but never as bad as it's been the last few months, you know the type where the idea of not living anymore doesn't seem so scary anymore. So I'm desperate to exhaust all my options, despite feeling ultimately hopeless. The obstacle is I also have symptoms of depersonalization/derealization from a bad trip on marijuana of all things (I smoked for years, then one day I guess I was feeling particularly low and Mary Jane pushed me over the edge). So my mind has been extremely fragile ever since, any mind altering substances is just out of the question. Of course, this means no flood doses for me, one bad trip could possibly put me in to a suicidal nihilistic downspiral.

I'm wondering if there's any minimal dose I can take that I can get a gentle soothing to my mental illness, if such a thing is even possible with such a powerful drug. Perhaps ibogaine isn't the best idea to try at this point, but I've spent so many years seeing it as a cure-all that I have tunnel vision. I'm a rational person, and I don't believe that ibogaine is a special 'teacher' with a separate identity that will solve all my problems (as some have described it), however I am desperate. I gave ketamine a shot which was meant to be the ace in the hole for depression but no luck there for me.

On the other hand, any alternative advice is appreciated. I've pretty much tried everything to treat depression but it gradually gets worse over time as one becomes more aware of the 'truth' about reality but hey, anything is possible.

 

[entheogenic-gnosis]

Often times treating depression can involve rearranging thought patterns, outlooks, and personal feelings, and while pharmaceutical agents may be great for this, something as simple as philosophy may be far more effective.

Buddhism and eastern spirituality can cover many areas, to the point where it may seem difficult to obtain the information that would benefit you most...

...Though if you dig into eastern spirituality, with the question "why am i unhappy" always in mind, you will likely find your answer.

Meditation is another great practice for maintaining a stable mental baseline.

Binaural beats and isochronic tones make claims of being able to help with depression via brainwave entrainment, I'm not sure how effective this really is, but it couldn't hurt.

I also limit the negative in my existance, and keep it at an absolute minimum, I only listen to positive music (reggae is great, it's spiritual music, and positive music, but the smoke enough cannabis that it's actually good music as well), I only associate with positive people, and only hold positive conversations, I focus on being calm, and happy, and radiating positive vibrations out into the universe, I focus on the good, I focus on love, I focus on the things that make life beautiful.

You can't ignore the negative, but you can limit it, and if I'm in a situation where I must confront the negative, I confront it with positivity.

You would be surprised how a simple change in thought can drastically change your emotions and outlook, and while psychedelics are great at forcing these changes in thought unprovoked, and have a massive potential for this type of healing, if you personally confront the true reasons leading to your happiness, and comfort in this existance or lack there of, your chances for genuine transformation multiply.

Below are some miscellaneous novel compounds for treating depression, though I can't stress enough the importance that thought can play in your emotional states, and how effective psychology, philosophy, meditation and spirituality can really be.

MAPS.org - Support Psychedelic Science

Help Us Deliver Global Healing People like you—donors giving even just a few dollars each month—have funded our psychedelic research and the psychedelic renaissance that research inspired. Your tax-deductible contributions are what allow MAPS to pursue the urgent and challenging work of...

www.maps.org

MAPS homepage

·Ayahuasca/DMT
(As a youth I suffered from mild depression, in 2012 I smoked a large amount of DMT, the experiance was fairly traumatic, but my depression has totally vanished since, after this experiance I had found a re-newed love for life and enthusiasm for existance. This was not intentional though, I was curious, and incidentally cured my depression. I'm not certain if this is in fact a viable option for treating depression, though in my case it worked. (Experiance report below, I've used this same report in other threads, though as of now it's the best I could do that does the experiance justice, I'm eventually going to rewrite the report, going deeper into detail)

the first time I smoked DMT I consumed 200mgs, light-yellow translucent Dimethyltryptamine crystals on top of high-grade marijuana, I cleared the DMT as well as the marijuana in a single breath, and before I could exhale (or even count to 5) I was in an overwhelming state of intense psychedelia. Visually the world was not recognizable, time ceased to exist, I remember going into a panic, thinking "get this shit out of me!" And exhaling as rapidly as possible...but it was too late. I remember looking around, I was at the bottom of a foggy mountain with dirt roads, I was overcome with an intense feeling of panic and deja-vu, I felt like a lost child, everything I knew about who I was or my life or earth seemed like a distant dream, like I dissolved out of existence, I interpreted this as dying, I knew that I was dead, and I was emotionally overwhelmed while confronting the event of my death...at first you want to reach out for help, you think "call the fire department, or I need to call my family", but you quickly realize it's just you and death and you have to come to terms with it alone. I could not tell if I was breathing or not, I would take air in, but couldn't feel it, I then noticed a pain in my chest, a giant mantis like being had its claws in my chest, it proceeded to tear open my chest and stomach removing all my organs and insides, I was about to go into shock when I saw a bright green light flash over my shoulder, it nearly hit me, it then became a beautiful geometric object,a glowing stone or jewel, morphing and color changing. The mantis then put this object in my torn up corpse. The mantis then began to make billions of these objects, each one unique and radiating beautiful colored light, and my hollowed out corpse was filled with them, replacing all the organs that had been removed. Then I was sealed up in a burning flash of red light, and my newly rebuilt body was propelled into an orange light where I was resurrected...then I felt as if I was being pushed through a membrane, I was being born....then back to reality....those who were there said in reality I curled up into a ball and began to cry for 15 minutes, I was wondering why my face was wet, because it felt like I had actually just went through being born...any way the immense deep spiritual and psychological implications of this experience left me for ever transformed, reborn as a new person entirely, it was the single most meaningful thing that has ever happened to me. -EG

Ayahuasca Psychedelic Tested for Depression

A pilot study with the shamanic brew hints at its therapeutic potential

www.scientificamerican.com

Scientific American regarding ayahuasca and depression


·Psilocybin

http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/17/health/magic-mushroom-chemical-depression/

link for a CNN story regarding psilocybin and depression.

Psychedelic drugs like LSD could be used to treat depression, study suggests

Researchers warn that patients are missing out on potential benefits due to prohibitive regulations on research into recreational drugs

www.theguardian.com

Lsd and depression link

Why Doctors Can't Give You LSD (But Maybe They Should)

For the first time since the 1970s, researchers are being allowed to study the potential medical properties of the most tightly controlled substances around. But it's not easy.

www.popsci.com

Lsd and depression

LSD

LSD Lysergic Acid Diethylamide Formula: C20H25N3O Drug class: Psychedelic Other names: L, Acid, Lucy, Tabs Onset of action: 30-40 minutes Peak: 3-5 hours LSD LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) is a semi-synthetic compound first developed in 1938 by Dr. Albert Hofmann at the Sandoz pharmaceutical...

www.maps.org

Maps LSD and depression

·Ketamine and others

Psychedelic Drugs Show Promise as Antidepressants

Scientists suggest that some psychedelics are remarkably good at treating disorders like depression—and may now have a clue as to why

www.scientificamerican.com

http://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/ptsd-trauma-and-stressor-related/psychedelics-promising-for-anxiety-depression-addiction-and-ptsd/article/437635/

Psychedelics and depression


·Alpha-ethyl-tryptamine

a-ET or etryptamine, was a promising anti-depressant, explored clinically as the acetate salt by Upjohn under the name of Monase. Its central stimulant activity is probably not due to its monoamineoxidase inhibition activity, but appears to stem from its structural relationship to the indolic psychedelics. It was withdrawn from potential commercial use with the appearance of an unacceptable incidence of a medical condition known as agranulocytosis, but the extra mural research into its action, among the lay population, goes on.
-tihkal

Binaural beats/isochronic tones/ depression/YouTube


-eg