Apology to all of you.

[polytrip]

Dear friends. Some of you have seen me lashing out at somebody recently. It was pretty ugly. I don´t know what to say, except that i feel a bit uncomfortable about it.

I am not some gandhi type of guy. I am just a man with sometimes a very bad temper. When it happens i don´t think for a second...i just attack. A while ago, i threw my computer out of the window and then i took an ax and started pounding the damn thing until very little was left of it. Just because it was taking too long for my mailbox to open. I didn´t care what my neighbours where thinking..i just needed to release all of that anger. And it actually felt quite good.

That´s also why i felt that i couldn´t be a moderator here: if someone pushes the wrong button in me, i´ll simply go totally mad. I don´t know why, but it happens.

Forgiving is an important skill. I can see the vital importance of it. But i´m not very
good at it, unfortunately. If there´s one thing about myself that i would want to change, it´s thát. To be able to forgive more easily. I often try, but i find it very hard.

On this site, i sometimes get involved in these discussions where people´s opinions are absolute opposite´s. I know that i sometimes use harsh words. But most of the times i think that these discussions still take place in a respectfull manner, no matter how big a disagreement may be.

But not on that one occasion. Someone made me feel as if he was deliberately being a pain in the ass, as if he was just trolling around with incomprehensable nonsense-talk.
But instead of just ignoring this, i got more and more angry, more and more inpolite till the moment that i just exploded with rage.

I should probably not have done that, though i´m still convinced that this person was a troll who just wanted to start a fight over nothing. But let me put it this way: to all of you DMT-nexus members: To YOU i am sorry to have polluted this place with foul language. To this other person....well, as i said: forgiving is a skill i need to work on some more.

 

[zombicyckel]

Yeah, a coin always has two sides. Forgiving one self is a really hard one, follows one everywhere. Maybe start boxing or something, so you can get the rage out, go totally fucking nuts on that punching bag, go home and relax.

(Hyperdrive)From hero to hero: Be all that you can be.

Great advivce, theres only so much one can do.At somepoint, the pain and stess is just not worth it. Sure its still there by all means. But by trying to work together with the anger would be a good idea Have a good one, and I forgive you peace to you

 

[tigerstrike92]

We are all human, we all make mistakes.

Sometimes, rage demands catharsis, and all you can do is take back seat and pray that no lasting damage is done.

Best of luck in your endeavors, poly.

Namaste

 

[anrchy]

Takes alot of balls to make a post like yours. Congrats!

I also have anger issues, although I have been working on them for the last few years. I have much better control over them now. I have a few techniques that I have crafted myself if your interested. The thing I learned is that I cannot control my anger, for once it was out, it was over.

When you said you threw your computer out your window and attacked it with an axe I actually laughed. Not at your expense though. Only cause it reminds me, of me.

I once got in an argument with my gf, we were sittin around a bonfire drinking some beers. i ended up getting so mad I picked up a full 5 gal can of gas and went to spin throw it through the air. I ended up slipping and spinning and on my ass. This enraged me to the point of no return. I ended up throwing the entire can onto the fire.

When it finally exploded, which took forever, it was the single most massive mushroom cloud fireball I have ever created. It completely disintegrate all my camping chairs, and my favorite hat. I still miss that hat. It took me 2 hours to calm down that night.

I feel for you, anger is a tricky one to deal with. Hope you got a faster computer! =]

 

[smokerx]

I totally understand you my friend but do not worry the battle is not lost yet you can change it at your wish. You need to learn how to control all that energy you have and all will be just fine do not worry. Just the fact that you posted this here only proves that you are on the right path. Once you start observing your self you are on the way to deal with the problem very quickly.

I also had problem controlling my anger. Ist much better now. The most important is to catch it just few second before you really get angry and from there you can control it. Just try to change all that energy into something positive.

Last time I had a argument with my wife we were about to have dinner. I was so upset I picked the worlds biggest oven baked potato and smashed it onto the wall in our living room. Wow man what a mess Pieces of potato were everybloodywhere even on our xmas tree. We spent probably 3 hours cleaning that mess laughing like crazy

When it finally exploded, which took forever, it was the single most massive mushroom cloud fireball I have ever created. It completely disintegrate all my camping chairs, and my favorite hat. I still miss that hat. It took me 2 hours to calm down that night

oh man you really made laugh so hard

 

[anrchy]

I also had problem controlling my anger. Ist much better now. The most important is to catch it just few second before you really get angry and from there you can control it. Just try to change all that energy into something positive.

Thats exactly how I learned how to do it. At first I was trying to calm myself down after I had already gotten angry, that didnt work at all. I started paying more attention to my mood and I noticed you start to get a sensation seconds before anger starts to settle in. i would focus my energy on keeping my mind from following that path. Now its easier to sense when I am about to get angry and I shift my thinking. Trying to see from another perspective sometimes.

Now its even to the point that even if i do start to get angry a little I can shift my thinking and calm myself down.

Also systematically ridding my life of as much stressful BS and other things that invite negative behavior was a huge PLUS. Helped ALOT.

When it finally exploded, which took forever, it was the single most massive mushroom cloud fireball I have ever created. It completely disintegrate all my camping chairs, and my favorite hat. I still miss that hat. It took me 2 hours to calm down that night

oh man you really made laugh so hard

Good :d We joke about it now. Really was my favorite hat though haha

 

[scudge]

ok this is making no sense, for whatever reasons what I seem to be experiencing the most someone on the nexus makes a similar post with the same issues at hand, coincidence I dont think so. I must seriously am making a rapid ascension towards madness. However It feels so good to indulge rage as well as entertain myself with insane, crazy, madness thought processes.

 

[Ice House]

Dear friends. Some of you have seen me lashing out at somebody recently. It was pretty ugly. I don´t know what to say, except that i feel a bit uncomfortable about it.

....well, as i said: forgiving is a skill i need to work on some more.

Brother there is a reason I didnt quote your entire post.......

IMO the first and last of the post say it all.

not that the rest isnt important.

I am responding as someone who can identify with what you may be going through emotionally.
I am an EXTREMELY manic person. I can rage with the angriest of them. I can love and laugh with the most compasssionate.

WoW!! but when I rage, OMFG!

I could go from nice and loving and understanding to angry and at times suicidal in a nano second!

I truely understand the pain you feel.

I have learned that the best therapy for me is to talk and to apologize.

Sicerely express my remorse directly to those I have hurt.

Anger takes allot of energy, it hurts me when I am angry, I cant imagine being in the shoes of the person I am lashing out at.

I am NEVER physical with others, my anger doesnt manifest itself like that.

I am just mean and intentionally hurtful.

My life has changed allot since I have learned to say one simple word.

sorry

Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say sometimes.
or in your case

Neem U mij niet kwalijk, or is it actually, sorry, in het Nederlnandse taal?

I any case.

I have learned that apologizing is very theraputic for an angry person. Learning to say sorry has helpd me out so very much.

Life is difficult at times, that doesnt make lashing out at another ok, it does however mean that you are human and you have some work to do.

very nice post poly. It takes allot for an angry person to post what you did.

recognizing you have a problem is the biggest step you can take to healing.

mending fences is most always perceived to be so difficult, especially when youre the one who must initiate. It really isnt. You already have the difficult part out of the way.

Love and Light brother!

IH

 

[Mitakuye Oyasin]

It is reading posts like these that remind me again what an amazing group of individuals we have here at the nexus. Cheers to you all:grin:

 

[mew]

let me ease your mind with two words you would have never normally put together, ready?


~~~~~~~~~

banana float

~~~~~~~~~


see if you can start using it, if you can, im really cool ::

 

[Korey]

Apologizing for being human?

Apology accepted.

 

[d*l*b]

I don’t know what situation this post relates to but recognising that something is wrong and wanting to change it has a large part of the work done.

I also feel a lot of frustration and anger at times and have been known to do and say things that hurt or annoy those around me. I have spent several years dealing with areas of my personality and actions that cause issues for those around me and also myself.

I believe in many circumstances releasing anger is important, it’s just how it manifests that can cause issues. As you said about your computer smashing exercise was a good release. I’ve also found smashing things is a useful release, even moreso when they are useful or loved (I’m only referring to inanimate objects here!).

A few concepts that I put into use when I feel extreme frustration or odd ideas, they may or may not be useful!

• Do I really care? Look forward in time and ask whether the issue is relevant in 1 hour/1 day/1 week etc. etc.
• Cost/benefit analysis! Will the cost of venting frustration outweigh the benefits of the potential outcomes?
• Step back. If there’s really a battle to be won extreme emotion won’t help. Walk away, calm down, plan, then come back to fight.

 

[smokerx]

Really was my favorite hat though haha

So what would be the moral of our stories ?

If you want to keep your favourite hat and have good dinner

DO NOT GET ANGRY !!!

 

[○]

I didn't see the thread that you were referring to, but all I can say is "It's all good".

No matter how well organized emotionally/mentally...we all get on those waves of anger or frustration. But the key is always to recognize and not turn face to it.

It shows alot of respect and humility on your part by posting this. No worries.

The point is...you quickly realized this and brought it to attention.

 

[tele]

Anger... Can be a big problem in our lives. Everybody has it (or at least has had) and the best thing is I believe to learn it's ways and learn to avoid it, or in the best case learn to control it. Alot of anger can stem from physical tension so relieving muscle tensions especially in the torso can help some people.

 

[Zanexx]

It takes a lot of the right stuff to admit when we are in the wrong. Props poly

I used to get angry easily. Like some others at first, I used to recognise the start of it, and consciously divert it. Eventually this started happening without me thinking about it. I would feel the anger rise, and then dissipate without any conscious effort.

These days I seldom get angry. I actually find it quite amusing now, being in a situation where I know in the past I would flip out.

Why should someone else's incompetence, disobedience etc etc spoil my positive vibrations? They shouldn't But I am not perfect, I do still get angry just very seldomly, and when I do I normally have enough control to restrain it, till I am alone and can release it without others getting a burn