Breakthroughs Are Over Rated: An Essay

[metta-morpheus]

To start this off, to say a breakthrough is over rated, is not to deter from its value. They for sure can bring you places and show you things to catalyze a closed mind. But I think the heavy value put on breakthroughs leaves the magic of lower level and prolonged sessions in the shadows. I have found tremendous healing in this space, and have sparked a change from an almost decade long rut of stagnation and habits from navigating in this realm of DMT.

So an introduction to me, I am 32, have been married for 4 years with an 8 year old daughter and 4 year old son. My wife and I have been together for 11 years. We used to be happy go lucky, the whacky ones at the parties. We worked, and then went out. We got pregnant, after being together for 2 1/2 years. I was 23 and she was only 20. Very young, which lead to harbored resentment down the road. Now of course we love our children to the end of the world, but this makes young adults have to grow up very quickly, which can lead to that shitty inner question that comes up when you’re stressed by life, “What if things had been different?” I quickly went from a labor job that I sorta enjoyed, to a corporate based factory job. You know, good pay, good benefits. This has been a slow acting poison kool-aid that I have been sipping on for years now. And I’m seeing the results of it.

My wife has taken this even harder mentally, as she was a stay at home mom for several years of the kids life. As any other stay home parents may relate to, this caused a very isolated and stressed feeling mother/wife. Day in day out routine revolving around your kids can leave you feeling as though you have no time to be you. Which started to form a hollow void forming between my wife and I. Me, tired from the shit corporate life of being treated like a number. Her, tired from the kids all day just wanting some time and presence from her husband when he gets home. Things I was having a hard time giving.

So now I have painted the picture of my mindset pre DMT. And to touch on the value of breakthroughs I spoke of, it was the mystique of this that made me search out dmt in the first place, as I’m sure as is almost everyone who tries it. And my first few experiences were incredible. They were all very vivid breakthroughs that brought me to a place of such love and enlightenment. And this was quite valuable to someone who was such a realist with a very black and white outlook on the world. I have written here on another thread about my best experience where dmt showed me my twin flame inside my wife, which sparked this journey of healing our issues. So I can absolutely give credit to the breakthrough. It introduced me to the magic and new relationship I would form with dmt.

So my journey had begun, I saw some amazing potential with dmt. I just didn’t know how to best apply it to myself yet. The breakthroughs were amazing, but so confusing, all empowering, and hard to remember/take stuff away from it. So I switched from blast offs and sure fire breakthroughs with a dab rig, to experimenting with infused herb and Harmalas. I was intentionally trying to stay below hyperspace, mostly because of how intense my previous experiences had been. My first dance with this route was at a campfire with friends, myself being the only one partaking. It was quite nice to get that “holy” feeling while remaining on earth and able to function. I puffed on it for a good 3 or 4 hours, keeping a pretty consistent, relatively mild high. It was great, but still not using it in the best way for myself. This was fun, but not healing.

So I continue my dance. I’ve now started smoking it when I’m alone, as the most convenient time for me is after the kids are in bed, and my wife happens to work nights. Which wouldn’t matter if she was home anyway, because she only has tried it once, and hasn’t felt ready to try again, even though I try to convince her to. I found that having no distractions helps me focus best on the search for the answers. This is where this method has benefited me the most. The first couple solo tries, I realized where I could go with my thoughts, and the answers I had inside that just needed to be unlocked. I get into a what I call, channeling mode.

Now let me go into how “channeling mode” evolved into what it is today, and how it helps me. At first, I was putting focused thought into issues of life. I would sit there puffing my bong of spice, with a smallish hit every few minutes. Its taken me some time to find the balance of not loosing my connection to the channel to my higher self, and over puffing, increasing the dmt filter and making it harder to stay on a focused thought. It was easy to get off track, but I have learned how to keep me where I want to be now. I would say I meditate, but it’s really not that. I sit there talking to myself, moving all about. By no means a traditional meditation anyway. But my thoughts are focused. And in the beginning, I would get my answers, I would channel. But I would get 10-20 ah-ha moments, or applicable pieces of advice from myself, but only half or less would be retained after the session. Well that’s no good. How can I apply if I can’t remember. So I got a journal just for my channeling. And I’ll post a pic of a page or two just to show how funny relearning to write on dmt looks. I had to spend a whole session just learning how to write without losing my important thoughts that needed to be written down. It turned into a form of shorthand and writing in sounds like a child. But it’s enough for me to translate later, or spark the memory of the thought I had. This is paramount to making sure it all comes back with me. I’ve had to learn to make sure I only write down the big ones, as I can have a tendency to think all ah-ha thoughts need to be written down in that state.

So now I had a journal with all the answers to fix my problems, all the paths I needed to take. I know which seeds I need to plant and where to plant them. But this is the most important part of the healing, one that is easy to neglect. Do it. Start planting. If you don’t follow your plan, then what is it really? Just a fancy novel of someone who will never exist? After several of these sessions, and me preaching to my wife that I have the answers, I know what to do, I’m gonna carry us over this mountain, little was to be shown for it. Now I have learned, but I defend my naive self. I had a lot of shit piled up. A lot of baggage to sort through. I was drawn to the sessions more than the work that needed to be done. From the outside, it looked as though I was using it for escapism. And it took a long conversation with my wife to reassure her it wasn’t, but also to remind me that part of these sessions is action. Stop letting the list get bigger, and start crossing shit off. Walk the walk. Because ultimately, without the action, I’m just some delusional guy getting high. Respect the medicine and that’s what it is. Medicine.

So my friends, this is the evolution of my dance with dmt. I have found tremendous healing from using this lower level/prolonged method of smoking. Very controllable. Very useful. I can bring back everything I need. I value the breakthrough. As I said, it brought me to dmt in the first place. It opened my mind to the powers of dmt. I just hope people can now find more value with this approach as compared to shooting for the breakthrough every time. Inter dimensional travel is great. But I’ve found more answers within myself than any entity could’ve given me.

Thanks for reading

~~Metta-Morpheus~~

 

[metta-morpheus]

Journal pics :lol:

 

[IIYI]

Metta-Morpheus thank you for sharing. I'm glad you found your way.
Well done about that you treat the Medicine with respect.

I have smoked DMT 1 in my life but with an incredible experience becouse the breakthrough, after the DMT i start to meditate more often. I make my meditation before to sleep. This meditation allows me to drop small part from my natural DMT in the brain. During this meditation I travel and have vision like as if it were DMT or Ayahuasca, then I dream amazing things when i fall a sleep, but I noticed that when you turn your 3rd eye to inside yourself ... you find all the answers. Monologue with your Inner Self is amazing and show you your Eternal and Infinite. I agree with you and I am sure that low dose DMT have value as Medicine. I can't prove it, but that's how I feel it inside of me.


Be well and wish you all the best.

IIYI

 

[Jees]

I think BT and sub-BT are hardly comparable and preference is personal/temporal/...

For people who find sub-BT too much of a mehh, they might consider the thought that this is what they made of it their selves and blame the shallow dose. In sub-BT you are the designer, one has to be more creative. I think this involves a learning process too and likely many people give up before gaining a metier. The "being served overly" of a BT is contrasting.

Thank you for sharing your ways MM, people might become inspired to widen their scope of use. Funny to see your scripts, thanks

Happy trials!

 

[metta-morpheus]

I agree jees, what route to go is specific to the person, and how they receive the info. I also strongly agree that navigating sub bt is a learning curve to get the most of it, as you ARE the designer as you said. I just put this out there for anyone who shares my initial mentality of dmt, go big or go home. I hope value can be taken from this essay.

 

[FranLover]

I recall some of my best experiences were from sub-breakthroughs. Its very hard to delineate. What I know for me is most important is getting 10-20 aha moments as you said, which I get most prominently from a full on breakthrough, but it has to be a specific one; smooth, intergalactic, and impossible. But you never know where u go...u never know if you'll land where you want to, that is the challenge of dmt. You have the philosophers stone now you must learn how to be one with it

 

[WarpedDimension]

Value for sure!

I enjoy any dose of DMT. I have experimented every which way I can think of. It truly is a learning experience each and every time no matter the dose. I like to play!!

Those journal pictures are awesome! It made me laugh! I usually wrote in my journal after I had come down and could actually write, however there is a couple pages in my journal that resemble your journal pictures that I wrote during a sub-breakthrough. The same exact handwriting it would seem. One page in my journal looks like chicken scratches and scribbles. Not sure what I was trying to do in that moment.

Thanks for sharing your essay! I enjoyed it very much!

 

[sbios]

Sounds like a path between blasting through hyperspace and Aya session. Or more close to an aya session without the dieta and time commitment where one is able to have more time to ask specific questions. I've heard couple times ppl doing low doses in a stretched time span but this is quite a nice report. Much appreciated the share.

Like dreams, I noticed when I actually have been practicing meditation (in my case, the technique that sitting still is needed, and observe breathing and body sensations continuously) then my memory of the dreams stay clear. I'd suggest you also reduce all the external stimuli while in your low does session, which including walking around, touch stuffs, talking...etc and just sit with your questions in mind, closed eyes and keep movements to minimum. Only write down when you absolutely have to. This might help with getting more clear messages.

 

[metta-morpheus]

Sibios: I’ve had one failed aya attemp, but I feel like I’ve approached a similar experience with my method. I keep a constant flow of dmt on a manageable level, which keeps me as the director of the show. I’m amazed at what I’ve been able to do with this so far, but I feel with a more controlled meditation as you said, I can get even more. Having your post in the back of my head may help me try to be more conscious of controlling this. So thank you!

 

[sbios]

Yeah it'd be nice to see if you find controlling setting and minimizing stimuli would help improve the quality of your experiences. For me, I'm gonna give this slow burn method some tries and see what effects I might experience. Looking forward to hear more reports on how this has progressed for you.

 

[metta-morpheus]

Ok. So I stand corrected. A breakthrough last night made me realize that that’s where the real magic resides. I got a lot outta my sub bt’s, but I’m now on a hyperspace mission. It all happened for a reason, my experiences so far up to this point. But I had a summoning to the Divine Council last night, and met everyone. I felt their energy in me and they meticulously destroyed my ego. Very humbling. Feel so light and unburdened today.

Love

 

[Jees]

Nice to hear a facet has shown

In analogy, just some modest joint puffs and carry on with day activities in a certain vibe, or blasting brains out with a bus-load of thc: same substance, different worlds all together. It's a luxury to be able to choose, imho I would not "rate" them as the thread title tend to suggest.

 

[metta-morpheus]

Jees, you are correct my friend. I have no place to judge as the title implies. I did write the essay to share the magic that I found in myself at sub levels, mostly since a lot of what I have read pertains to breakthroughs. Not a lot of tales of sub levels. So I felt it was under appreciated. But our paths are all different on this journey and everyone needs to learn in their own way the best way to walk it. I won’t abandon my sub sessions, but I now feel when I need divine guidance, something I can’t quite achieve by myself, I can ask dmt to schedule a meeting with the council.

 

[Jupitor]

So Metta, do you have any tips for those of us who also find it difficult to ACT in the world on the insights garnered from the psychedelic experience? I struggle with this myself. There are so many things I need/want to DO in the world, but often times I find it hard to act to make them realities versus fanciful visions of what could be.

 

[skoobysnax]

Try this. Sub BT with changa, prime the well, maybe more than once. Then go for a breakthough dose. I usually precede this method with yoga and prananyama to "tune in" This puts me in a fearless state that allows me to really be in whatever space she chooses to lead me through.

Recently i finally did Aya with a group under guidance from a well repected maesto which became2 nights 6 hrs each of deep work. I am glad i waited for this instead of going solo. I thought i knew something after working with the medicine for years but i got schooled by Aya.

I may begin working with a more harmala heavy changa because i was so taken by what the vine brings to the lessons.

I very much agree that intention without action is a waste of time. My motto: Be in bliss but DO THE WORK! Whenever i check a task she gives off the list freedom and joy follows. Aya left me much to do. I cant even find the words to write a trip report.

Also from my own experience don't push the medicine on your wife. If she feels called she will ask. I could write a book on this dynamic but the short story is she will resent it like she would resent another woman in your life. Just live your lessons in the way you relate to the ones you love. Its enough. A woman gives and gives with children and loses her identity in ways a man cannot fathom so any opportunity you can give her to regain her sense of self in a way she chooses will bring you closer.

 

[metta-morpheus]

Skooby: your words echo what I was just told the other night by the Council. It was so egotistical of me to think my wife would receive dmt the way I did. DMT found me, and it will find her when they are ready to be united. This mentality HAS made her start a small resentment for dmt, along with some of my other actions. But I’ve been humbled and I think she knows that now. Once again, the nexus gives me another post that’s extremely pertinent to my life right now. Thank you for reverberating the message for me.

Jupitor: the method that skooby just described is what got me to this highest peak so far. And I feel more motivated than ever. I feel the gods channeled their energy into me to spark some action. I needed some help, I wasn’t doing it well enough on my own. But big changes are coming. It’s a process that didn’t happen over night.

 

[Exitwound]

Metta-Morpheus, friend, I think that message you have received was too intense, please let at least several months to pass before you take any major action because of it.
Sorry for being direct, but I've read your recent posts and to me you sound a bit delusuonal. I've been to the other side and can relate, but I don't think divine forces would intervene in a such way if any intervention is needed.

 

[metta-morpheus]

Fair ‘nuff. My posts have a real story to them that meant something, but I do try to be a little interesting with how I convey the story to everyone here. Trust me, I’m not saddling up a golden pony under the impression that I’m here to save the world. But those that be do have a hand in humanity, and we are the conduits for their bidding. Whether conscious or unaware of it, it’s happening. A fanciful way of describing fate. And I feel my fate was presented to me. And to clarify, my mission will be a life long mission, as that is just a blink to them. It will be a slow and long chain of actions. Nothing I’m jumping into. But I feel I have a purpose now that since a child have always felt but never knew what it was.

And thank you, as I’m not above being kept in check once in a while.

Much love

 

[Fate]

(Tagging to fully read later).
For me Changa in low doses = short aya experiences and are very powerful. I get in touch with my atman. C.S. Lewis's 'inner voice'.

 

[Jupitor]

Checking in with you, Metta-Morpheus. Were you able to channel that energy into action?

Just last night a began a similar experiment with sub-breakthrough doses of harmala-heavy changa. I kept smoking little tokes out of a small one-hitter till something big was at the threshold, and then just stayed there. For me, the threshold was the moment when I became certain that one more toke would animate the life-sized King Tut sarcophagus in the corner of my studio. And I wasn't ready for a meeting of that nature at that moment!

In any case, my life's struggle right now is to transform all these great ideas and aspirations into action. I know what to do and I WANT to do them, but something stops me. I would love any more insight from anyone on this matter.