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Can you find answers to personal problems in HyperSpace?

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Xfce4

Esteemed member
Can you find answers in HyperSpace to recurring thoughts?

I once fell in love with a girl. Maybe it was an obsession. We never had the chance to talk and discuss but I felt like we were similar in heart and somehow connected. I was thinking about her almost all the time, but I did not have the courage to approach her in a proper manner and at the end she refused to communicate. It is like her heart was locked off. It took me almost 5 years to get used to it and remove her from my mind. I thought I was over with it and was free for 4-5 years. But right now, I am at the stage of changing my job, have problems with my parents and she came to my mind again. I miss her and care for her again. Even though my reasoning says she is not suitable for me anymore I want to soothe her and soothe myself.

I don't think this is eternal love, but a reflection from my subconcious mind. These thoughts and emotions can be tiring and very distracting. I want to develop and advance in life, win by making others win. Why is it so difficult for me to approach her, why am I so obsedded with her, why do I not let it go?

Can I find answers to these in DMT world and solve it permanently?
 
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Xfce4 said:
Can I find answers to these in DMT world and solve it permanently?
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Probably not, reflecting on your feelings is something that can be done with or without dmt use. I think tripping intentionally with a central question in mind can help to work through feelings and emotional issues. It’s however not a guaranteed outcome, It might very well make things more complicated. From your post I get the feeling your experiencing a limerence, I don’t know if a psychedelic experience would help with that.

Take care
 
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“…experiencing a limerence”. Wow, new one for me. Thanks.

To OP “X”, don’t know how old you are, but welcome to the human condition. I recall in my youth there were several women I did not think I could live without and in “best case”, had to settle for “just friend” status. It is indeed a painful state of mind/body. I can almost guarantee you drugs are not the answer. One tried and true method is to write a long letter to the object of your desire, then ritually burn it, or make a paper boat out of it and send it down a stream.
Unrequited love is tough. Not everyone finds their mate in this life. But keep you eyes and heart open, try to stay optimistic, and move forward.
Best,
 
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Acceptance is key. Psychedelics are non-descript amplifiers, so while you may discover some insights in the psychedelic space relative to your problem, they may also make it much more prevalent in your mind.

I've been where you are (and in some ways I'm still there). I've learned that it's best to learn to be with it (the intrusive obsessive thoughts) and simply observe them without judging them or yourself. It can be annoying, but I don't think your experience is uncommon. We're taught to keep topics like these to ourselves for various reasons.

One love
 
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I'll be candid and share a little of my experience with this.

There's a woman, whom I've known for over a decade, and she's one of my best friends.

It's a complicated situation, but simply, I let my feelings be known, only to receive mixed signals. While she was dating and whatnot, I remained single, largely because of her, but also because of other factors.

Then she got married.

Here's the kicker: a few weeks ago we had to talk to figure some things out and get some stuff out in the open. Lo and behold, her feelings have been the same for me all along, but she was unaware of herself and unsure how to act, not wanting to jeopardize a friendship, etc. She told me I'm her soul mate, which I feel reciprocally.

While part of me feels complete knowing this, it also feels like a sick joke.

One love
 
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Varollo said:
It’s however not a guaranteed outcome, It might very well make things more complicated.
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Voidmatrix said:
while you may discover some insights in the psychedelic space relative to your problem, they may also make it much more prevalent in your mind
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Wow making it more complicated would be the last thing I would want. Hate it when you can't find the answers even tough you are willing to push your limits, but I want to believe there is a purpose for that also. What else can I do to have hope for the positive in the end?

MacElf_234 said:
One tried and true method is to write a long letter to the object of your desire, then ritually burn it, or make a paper boat out of it and send it down a stream.
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One part of me does not to do that but maybe I have to. Thank you.

Voidmatrix said:
I'll be candid and share a little of my experience with this.
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Thank you for sharing. I can relate. But instead of seeing it as a joke, I want to find out my case was a lesson that will be covered for good with a happy ending for both sides.
 
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I would say that hyperspace is a tool, and a rather unpredictable tool that often leaves you with more questions than you can find answers to. Like the oracle of Delphi, it can communicate in riddles that are hard to understand while making just enough sense that you might not directly discard it, making for a lot of mental chewing gum till it gets really stale.

What you describe here however sounds to me like an unprocessed trauma that is still lingering in the background and one that will rise fast and strongly when the right events trigger it, so it's good that you recognize this and want to take steps toward healing.

My advice to you in this case would be to find a good therapist for so called "somatic experiencing", this is a therapeutic way to slowly get to the core of your lingering trauma, mentally and physically, and all in small steps to prevent retraumatize you with a full event (titrating they call it). When done by a real professional, and one that you can connect with, it can have amazing and lifelong lasting effects.


Kind regards,

The Traveler
 
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Xfce4 said:
You might be right. Maybe I should not give deep meanings to this experience (although it is not so easy to accept). Thank you :)
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Hi @Xfce4, we've just created a new section on the forum with a real therapist who can better explain all what I liked to communicate and to help you finding the right direction.

@SomaticWave is a real therapist with more than 10 years of experience in the field. <3


Kind regards,

The Traveler
 
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Before answering any questions I would like to ask you to ground yourself, do a small body scan and meditation, in a safe space where you can be alone undisturbed. Make sure you have some space and time for yourself after the exercise: at least for one hour after stay at home.

This is a small exercise based on your questions, slow down for a split second and take all the time you need to do this:

Next, I would like to ask you a few questions;
  • Does this girl represent something or someone you didn't have or missed earlier in your life?
  • When you track the first sensations in your body what happens in your body when you read the question above?

Xfce4 said:
It took me almost 5 years to get used to it and remove her from my mind
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What you might have actually unconsciously done here is to push away something that takes a lot of energy (like a ball under water) and the moment the nervous system is overloaded (other job and problems with your parents) that ball reappears and with it the desire for support and co-regulation.

Now I would like to ask you again what sensations you can perceive in your body after you read this, also pay attention to your breathing for a moment.
Do you perhaps feel vibration in your body? This could be an overly welcoming release. If your breathing is very high, see what it is like to breathe it out a little longer than the in-breath.

Also, be aware of the space you are sitting in - orient in the here and now and see where your eyes are drawn to in a pleasant way. Finish with a self-hug.

I would like to advise you to go to a qualified body-oriented therapist, also you can read more in the topic Trauma & information about how our nervous system works as seen from the Polyvagal theory, I will post a link there. Take your time and if you have any more questions I will be happy to answer them.

Trauma and the Nervous System: A Polyvagal Perspective

This video was developed to give a basic introduction and overview of how trauma and chronic stress affects our nervous system and how those effects impact our health and well-being. Much of the content is based on the groundbreaking work of Stephen Porges and his Polyvagal Theory and...
forum.dmt-nexus.me forum.dmt-nexus.me


Warm regards,

SomaticWave
 
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I think you could set the intention to find a better partner, one that is available. You could write a list of what you are looking for in a partner (including they are interested in you), have it on a piece of paper in front of you trip, then read it and burn it after the trip.
 
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Xfce4 said:
@The Traveler @SomaticWave
Thank you very much for such kindness. I feel embarassed I did not log in for more than a week.

@SomaticWave, I will ponder on the questions and the answers once I am in a peaceful state. But I have read halfway the text, and I know the questions. Would it affect the result?
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@Xfce4,​

Going back to your last question, it just depends on what outcome your body -mind connection deeply desire, when you listen to your bodily felt sense.

There is a way to listen to your experienced sense of your body and have dialog between both. The best would be, you have someone like a facilitator / therapist or practitioner who practices Eugine Gendlin ‘s focusing or a SE practitioner to reflect , guide and support you in this.

To get an idea what focusing is, you can listen to this recording and practice the first exercise.

A Guided Focusing experience with Leslie Greenberg



Take care

Somatic Wave
 
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Transform said:
The change of perspective can help you to find your own way forward towards a deeper inner peace. Letting go of the craving for companionship was key to my own path of meeting a soulmate, ymmv.
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I can really relate to this. Grasping at the idea of how my life would change, if only I had love from a certain someone, did the exact opposite - it pushed the reality further away. Loving myself and others without judgment or grasping for anything in return has opened my life up in amazing ways.

I strongly believe I had to become the person I wanted to meet, and this has attracted exactly that.
 
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