Come up anxiety and the dark aspects

[Tomtegubbe]

I have been experimenting with the substance just for a while now and I can now conclude that this is not an easy substance. It has been very educational and comforting but there also a dark side to it I'd like to ask opinions about.

Today I took a 15 mg dose with a direct e-mesh method (without harmalas I usually take). I laid down and felt all the aspects of the come up, but extremely muffled and barely having any visuals. With this experience I understood that there is something in the come up that feels like someone or something is crossing my boundaries. I have had hyperstimulated sexual-like experience several times and it always feels a bit too much. That was one reason I wanted to try this lower dose, but I was surprised to find that the come up didn't feel more benign, just less noticeable.

I enjoy much more the experience with harmalas than without and won't do it without harmalas again for a while. However, I'd like to hear: have you had similar experiences and how do you interpret them? Are these feelings of someone crossing my boundaries due to my fears I need to work with or should I just be more strong headed while taking the ride to the other side or perhaps stay away from that world until I feel comfortable entering it again?

What do you think about this dark aspect? Is it something you are better off ignoring, surrendering or exploring?

 

[bismillah]

For the longest times my trips always get dark. Fooling myself with sweet mantras like "everything is going to be ok" and "I'm in a good place" doesn't work—in fact, it made it worse. So, I tried something different.
I think you have to prepare for it while sober... think about the darkness and what causes it, and how you feel about it. Then when you trip you can be an impartial observer to those dark thoughts, rather than their victim. This keeps me calm in dark moments.

 

[Sunnyside]

Today I took a 15 mg dose with a direct e-mesh method (without harmalas I usually take).

What do you think about this dark aspect? Is it something you are better off ignoring, surrendering or exploring?

Others have noted here on the Nexus, and I agree, that trying to ingest only a very low dose makes for a less-than-comfortable experience.

Sadly, I haven't seen the dreamer042 around these parts in quite some time, but I don't think he'd mind me borrowing one of his phrases - "smoalk moar".

I don't want that to be an over-simplification, always pay attention to your set and setting, along with your intentions.

But all other things being equal, I'd probably add some milligrams, if you're skipping the harmalas.

I hope this helps.

 

[Tomtegubbe]

Today I took a 15 mg dose with a direct e-mesh method (without harmalas I usually take).

What do you think about this dark aspect? Is it something you are better off ignoring, surrendering or exploring?

Others have noted here on the Nexus, and I agree, that trying to ingest only a very low dose makes for a less-than-comfortable experience.

Sadly, I haven't seen the dreamer042 around these parts in quite some time, but I don't think he'd mind me borrowing one of his phrases - "smoalk moar".

I don't want that to be an over-simplification, always pay attention to your set and setting, along with your intentions.

But all other things being equal, I'd probably add some milligrams, if you're skipping the harmalas.

I hope this helps.

I think this is a good practical advice. Once you get through the tunnel the world usually turns to a positive (though still challenging) one. I haven't paused to contemplate what the come up feels like before and the nature of the "tunnel" or the come up puzzles me.

I think the advice to prepare for these feelings before hand is good one too. Maybe it is a test of courage and you have to look past the clowns and everything trying to divert you from the path of going deeper into the more meaningful realms.

Somehow this reminds me the story in the Arabic Nights (or at least how it's shown in Aladdin film) where the cave with the magic lamp is filled with treasures that only exist to make you stray from your path. I don't know if this analogy is correct and if this is the right approach but it somehow resonates.

 

[Exitwound]

Have a mantra ready, mine is "DMT is love, all is love".

Surrender to experience, don't fight it.

Have a music you love on, preferably rhythmic with beats or drums for grounding.

Smoalk 25-27mg and report your findings

 

[Blazon]

yes,those small amounts can be uncomfortable,I aggree.

I haven't done harmalas yet but do have 0.1-0.5g of cubensis before I do DMT.The 'lift off' is smoother than going without,also less anxiety.

 

[monomind]

Others have noted here on the Nexus, and I agree, that trying to ingest only a very low dose makes for a less-than-comfortable experience.

Sadly, I haven't seen the dreamer042 around these parts in quite some time, but I don't think he'd mind me borrowing one of his phrases - "smoalk moar".

I don't want that to be an over-simplification, always pay attention to your set and setting, along with your intentions.

But all other things being equal, I'd probably add some milligrams, if you're skipping the harmalas.

I hope this helps.

I am also in the group of those who find spice so overwhelming even in small amounts ( 5mg) that's why i stick to harmala heavy changa that allows me to go deep but still maintain something resembling sanity and the ability to make sense of what's going on.

Are you saying that larger amounts ( say 25mg vaped ) will be a qualitatively different experience than 5mg ?

 

[Tomtegubbe]

Have a mantra ready, mine is "DMT is love, all is love".

Surrender to experience, don't fight it.

Have a music you love on, preferably rhythmic with beats or drums for grounding.

Smoalk 25-27mg and report your findings

I'll probably stick to always using harmalas in the experience. They seem to take away or at least alleviate a lot the dark aspect of the spice. 25 mg seems like a good dose. It can still be challenging, but not in a mischievous way. I agree that the mindset is very important. You have to trust yourself in what you are doing. This reminds me of Peter the apostle walking on water and beginning to sink as doubts overwhelm him.

I am yet to find ideal way to take the harmalas. Eating them causes nausea, smoking is harsh. Haven't tried extraction yet.

 

[Blazon]

I have taken DMT few times straight on its own and never enjoyed it as when allready 'activated' being on LSD or mushrooms.With cannabis,especially oral oil it seems to be harder to even get the effects going,they do come up but in like a slow motion maybe 30s later or sometimes it feels a bit longer.

Never tried the harmalas however,does it make it last longer?Is it smoother come up?

I will do some research into it properly just wanted to ask 1st hand

 

[Tomtegubbe]

Never tried the harmalas however,does it make it last longer?Is it smoother come up?

Yes and yes in my experience. If you eat the harmalas and vaporize the spice you can get very aya-like experience. The more you take harmalas, the more spiritual the experience will be in my experience. However taking above 4 grams may be quite heavy for the body.

 

[Sunnyside]

Others have noted here on the Nexus, and I agree, that trying to ingest only a very low dose makes for a less-than-comfortable experience.
...
But all other things being equal, I'd probably add some milligrams, if you're skipping the harmalas.

I hope this helps.

I am also in the group of those who find spice so overwhelming even in small amounts ( 5mg) that's why i stick to harmala heavy changa that allows me to go deep but still maintain something resembling sanity and the ability to make sense of what's going on.

Are you saying that larger amounts ( say 25mg vaped ) will be a qualitatively different experience than 5mg ?

Well, yes. You seem to intuit that fact, don't you? By choosing your 5mg dose?

I'm just speaking for myself, and I'm neither an expert nor someone who chooses 'hero' size dozes. When I have chosen lower doses, in that 5 to 15, maybe even 20 mg range, it is not very satisfying, for lack of a better word. Just dark-ish thoughts and feelings and images.

In my humblest of opinions, there is not just one set of experiences that every explorer will have.

I hear comments about being in The Waiting Room, for example. I don't know what that means.

I've never seen bouncing basketballs.

I don't know what The Chrysanthemum is, either.

I have seen beings and 'entities', again, for lack of a better word. And there are explorers on this nexus who seem surprised that I see beings like that, in my visions - they never have seen an entity.

Conversely, many folks seem to have intelligent communications with beings/entities/spirits that are encountered.
I, myself, don't have complex interactions like I read about here, where someone might relate that "He (she) told me to do this and I questioned it and I was told about that". I never experience anything like that.

So, suppose I choose a dose of 20, maybe 25 mg. At that point the world begins changing for me. I call it "Tim Burton" land, or maybe "Candy" land, and I think I've read of others who get that. Mountains and cliffsides come to life; vegetation morphs into a new landscape; the ocean fractalizes serilously. But I'm still relatively clear-headed, trying not to give in to the amazement, but gasping in awe all the same.

And then, bumping it up, at 25mg and sometimes even less, sometimes just putting a torch to GVG to see how much had been left last time (don't try this at home - always clean your pipe).
That is when I'm ripped from this universe and tossed like a rag doll into the different realms, back and forth, to and fro, beings, visions, life, love, bliss, terror, euphoria, joy, bliss, fear, on and on.

Well, other people describe it much better, and that's pretty long-winded for me, but it felt like you wanted my story, monomind. So, there you have it. The spice according to sunnyside.

Remember, this is only spice, vaped in the GVG.

As you point out, harmine/harmaline/thh change things entirely.

And I'm also a fan of vaped DMT when I'm exploring with LSD or mushrooms. But that's just me.

I hope I got in the neighborhood of an answer for you.

 

[Blazon]

I am only 'salting'with DMT and going to explore the Dream maker and other devices,got Yocan tank I used for oil in the past,maybe I do some VG/PG

Only uused in volcano classic,vape goes into a plastic bag

I put about 20mg into chamber but you taking drags on the balloon so it is very easy to regulate,most of the time I put the balllon down after second drag if I feel it is getting a bit too much and reload later.

I know this is my way of 'controling the high' but why not if that's what I think rocks my boat the most.reading most breaktroughs experiences people don't remember much and some see lower value in DMT as a techer or an eye opener as you have very little time during the experience compare to shrooms or acid(6-12h)where you have plennty of time to think about life and universe.
With DMT so much happens so quick so I like to explore it this way
I know in the end of the day,if I want to loose consiousness I can just put 60mg into chamber and suck the ballon in 3 drags anytime,it will take only 5 min to pre-heat my volcano,but I am ok for now

everything has its time and place

 

[Blazon]

And I'm also a fan of vaped DMT when I'm exploring with LSD or mushrooms. But that's just me.

I hope I got in the neighborhood of an answer for you.

you're not alone my friend,I prefer at least a microdose of mushrooms prior to my journies with DMT and only 'salting' my experience when on acid or shrooms as it creates fantastic synergy.
To be honest the high of vaped DMT itself isn't my cup of tea,maybe will try aya or pharma later

I like to be in some kind of control knowing what is happening and can kind of interact my experiences better this way as I 'diggest' them as they come most of the time.

thinking about trying harmalas too over winter to see what it is like

 

[Psyzsee]

the dark side is the fun side cause its not actually dark just stupid fun / unless it has to do with sleep paralysis being caused at night i wouldnt worry