Complete Sexual Abstinence...

[Akasha224]

[Deleted]

 

[expandaneum]

. Every sexual relationship I've been in has ended in turmoil and distress for both parties, because, as far as my probing can tell, I have a very deep seated distrust and fear of giving myself to another person. In retrospect, I have also realized that I'm emotionally manipulative of other people, with little to no remorse.

i think this is the problem,

abstinence seems to be what I was missing

This sounds more like running away from your problem instead of fixing it.

The abstinence might help but i don't think its along term solution

take care

 

[abusedtoaster]

probing

 

[Shanghigher]

Does abstinence in this sort of context mean no masturbation? I have no idea what that'd look like for me, meditation or not. If I don't get my kicks in some sort of manner within a 24 hour period, I actually lose pretty much all self control and get more in touch with my inner animal than anything else, haha.

But overall, I agree with Expandaneum. It sounds like you've got some unresolved issues with the rest of humanity for some reason. Why that is, I wouldn't care to speculate, but I do know that misanthropy and Machiavellian approach to relationships generally don't guarantee happiness, unless you find happiness in the misery.

 

[thymamai]

Is it a deep seated mistrust on your part, or have you considered that maybe you are perfectly capable of giving yourself over - and no one else is.

Have you been able to identify a common root in the resulting turmoil of each relationship you've dealt with?

Are you emotionally manipulative with the intent of manipulating?

Often we are all somewhat vindictive in ways that we are completely blind to, because usually we are too absorbed in whatever means of achieving a specific - and very different - end. And therein, quite plainly, lies the vindictiveness.. in the level of effort and struggle inherent in the iron will of some such objective.


I have gone long measures of complete abstinence without motive or much reason in it, other than that I seem to be able to think more clearly, and develop a more complex appreciation for simplicity once a certain itch has passed and subsided into a more latent and more powerful continuity of sensation. Giving rise to a very unique and more enjoyable experience of attraction towards the opposite sex.

I would not say it's difficult, for I am somewhat a loser and have little choice in the matter. It just kind of happens. ha ha

 

[SpartanII]

I have never considered myself a very sexual person, especially for a male (since all males think about sex always, without any exceptions, according to popular belief).

I can relate, brother. I'm pretty sure if there is a gene for asexuality, I have inherited some of those properties. It's a bit frustrating how popular the idea is of all men being highly sexual creatures. As if I'm almost expected to be thinking about sex all the time.:?:

As a straight married man, I do have sex with my wife, although it's usually a special occasion. Previous to being married, I did practice celibacy for several years while I was into meditation, OBE's, and lucid dreaming, and so I can relate some of my experience with it...

I suppose my main objective in creating this topic is to hear the opinions of others who have practiced abstinence, and what effect it has had on them, whether it's for a "spiritual," or some other, purpose. What effects has it had in the short term? Long term? How long did you do it for? Was it something extremely difficult to do, or does sexuality in itself not really interest you all that much in the first place like me? Let's hear about it.

Purpose: Emotional/Spiritual- freeing up attention/energy.

Effects: At first, I experienced an intensification of arousal that quickly diminished after I stopped focusing my attention on sex and re-directed that attention towards meditation and internal martial arts. Lost interest in casual sex and masturbation. Greater appreciation of natural beauty without ego-attachment. Heightened senses. Anti-depressant effects. Regained interest in spiritual pursuits, hobbies and health.

Don't get me wrong, sex can be highly energetic and spiritual (TANTRA) but the way most people go about it is energy-draining (as in letting it become like an addiction).

 

[darklordsson]

I find I get distracted if I abstain from the act. I just cant focus cause when I go a while without it, I start thinking bout it. After all, Im, we, are only human. If you find solace in abstaining, then it works. Do what's right or good for you.

Hope it all turns out friend!
---dls---

 

[Entheogenerator]

I am currently a couple of days into somewhat of a celibacy "trial-run", so to speak. I don't necessarily think my sexuality or sexual habits are unhealthy, I am also just curious to see what effect it might have on the rest of my life, if any. I will report back in this thread along the way and keep you updated, for those who might be interested.

 

[Jox]

Traditionally to be accepted in Buddhist monastery, if one doesn't have a sexual drive, or not a strong one will be send to a herbalist, medicine person, to rise it, else will not be accepted.

What is your work with psychedelics? Which ones, how often... Can you feed us back on this?

 

[Akasha224]

[Deleted]

 

[SpartanII]

Effects: At first, I experienced an intensification of arousal that quickly diminished after I stopped focusing my attention on sex and re-directed that attention towards meditation and internal martial arts. Lost interest in casual sex and masturbation. Greater appreciation of natural beauty without ego-attachment. Heightened senses. Anti-depressant effects. Regained interest in spiritual pursuits, hobbies and health.

What do you mean when you say you "re-directed" your attention? Just stopped thinking about it of your own volition? Or was it actually difficult to overcome at first?

It's only as difficult as you make it.

We don't always have control over thoughts/feelings themselves, but we do have control over where we place our attention, even if our "tendencies" tell us otherwise.

Redirecting attention just means conducting yourself in a balanced way. Not over-indulging in life, practicing moderation, etc. so that you have the free energy to shift your attention from one thing to the next without becoming overly attached to your perceptions. This is where the benefits of meditation (and lucid dreaming) come in.

 

[Jin]

hey akasha , why do you care ?

do what you like ,

arrogance and narcissism is not a crime

i don't really care about anything or anyone , i am happier that way ,

 

[Jox]

I see that you didn't do oral DMT. mushrooms in low doses I reckon....

I think some serious healing has to take place, since what you describe is a red flag. Sooner or latter it will hit you pretty strong.

I advise you to do heavy pharma, and then look for a therapist with the analytic background, no gov. therapists.

I know that it will fly over your head, but if it hits the fan you may remember this.

@ jin

Arrogance and narcissism is not a crime, but is serious suffering, and it can lead to many, many unwanted situations.

 

[obliguhl]

Perhaps you might find this thread interesting: Working with sexual abstinence - Methods of Exploring Consciousness - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

 

[Akasha224]

[Deleted]

 

[Jox]

Basic mental health is

- sleep
- sex
- interaction with others

These are basic human needs for an individual to functions optimally.

That's why the torture of "solitary confinement" it is one of the most damaging tortures.

The way you state that you have asocial aspects, and no sexual satisfaction.... Well what good that can bring you in work,,school, and after all just pleasure...

 

[Bancopuma]

Hmmm I think sleep and interaction with others would come FAR above sex for basic mental health requirements, just sayin'. Without the former two, you will eventually lose your mind on some level, whereas people can get by without sex. Different strokes for different folks n' all that, but sleep and human interaction are universal needs.

 

[Jox]

@ Bancopuma

You are right, sex is not need, but in the context of the OP says that he can't socialise well, so I kind of extended the communication aspect.

 

[tango]

I have gone for several months at a time without any kind of sexual release. At first, you think about it a lot, but the need decreases considerably after some time has passed. Now I decided I wanted to do it once a week or so to release the tension, but I always end up postponing it and waiting at least a few weeks before I let it out.

In my situation, as I've been opening more and more pathways in the body, much of the tension that accumulates in the pelvic area ends up spreading throughout the body. However, some of it stays there, and the pressure does build up -sort of like stepping on a hose with water running through it.

 

[Akasha224]

[Deleted]