Cubensis in silent darkness, phases of unproductive delirium

[grollum]

Hey there,

I wanted to ask the people here which are experienced in taking shrooms in silent darkness.

I did this some times now with slowly increasing dosage and have to say that there is building up something like a workbench or a space where I can work on myself and wrestle the demons in a way. This span extends every time I do it.
But I experienced it often that there might come a phase of delirium after or between those productive phases. With delirium I mean something which feels like the state you are in when you want to sleep but you can but you are somehow caught in between dreaming and wake thinking. So that really thinking is only bringing foreword rubbish. you can not really concentrate on anything but you also can not clear up your mind and meditate. Feels like the brain is producing like fragments of thoughts which other parts of the mind can not understand. I realized music can solve this by bringing the focus to something else. But this is not the idea of silence right? Maybe I should also mention that I dont use Weed or anything else during the experience which might make everything smoother. I want to keep it pure.

Can it be that at the point when this happens I am simply to exhausted so that parts of me already went to bed. Am I closing myself to the experience? Is this something I can learn to handle better?

What are your experiences with those strange states in silence?

 

[leratiomyces]

Your description strikes a chord with me.
It's much the same for me.
However amongst the jumble of fragmented thoughts, amongst all that mind chaos, emerge one or two absolute pearls, which I bring back to reality with me. As the experience dampens down, the pearls, or important realisations, whatever you want to call them, remain in the forefront of my mind, and I give them plenty of thought.
These pearls are the whole point of undergoing the experience, for me.
So yes, plenty of jumbled, chaotic stuff, out of which rise one or two great themes or thoughts, usually pertaining to what I need to improve on in my life.

On a side note, for me,, music with words is very distracting, while music without words can provide direction to the chaotic thoughts.

 

[FranLover]

Does this happen at the third hour or at the sixth? In my experiences in silence I do recognize this as a common ocurrence, but I dont try to work through it and just enjoy it (least the confusion is too much to be enjoyed!) If you and I are speaking of the same thing I believe that this phase in the psychedelic experience is the disolution of the ego...the ego functions with what it built in the past, memories like phantoms in the brain, and this stage of restlesness, perhaps confusion, eliminates the past from the scene, disolving the ego.


What is the idea of silence? I dont think it carries an idea. One can be listening to music, turn it off, now one is listening to the silence. The brain just points attention, the intensity of that attention has to do with the amount of peace the human has. Having said that of course silence and music are different and each has its magic.

 

[dragonrider]

I think i know what you mean. At some point, if you don't watch out, you become a bit like a dog chasing it's own tail. Or rather, simply chasing everything it sees.

If a thought "presents itself", or some kind of insight, try not to think of it. Try not to go with it. Because so many things pop-up, that giving attention to them all is simply impossible, and you become like a wild dog, running around in any given direction.

Just. Let. Go.

Much more fun.

 

[xss27]

So that really thinking is only bringing foreword rubbish. you can not really concentrate on anything but you also can not clear up your mind and meditate. Feels like the brain is producing like fragments of thoughts which other parts of the mind can not understand.

If you want to meditate why are you deliberately introducing another extraneous factor (shrooms) into your mental apparatus? Completely defeats the point of meditation. And also kind of answers your question here, which you answered yourself already too - the shroom state of mind needs something to latch on to, to focus on.

Shrooms are a catalyst of mental activity. If you remove the stimulus down to low levels all you're going to get is the background hum of shrooms obscuring your ability to naturally turn your attention in on itself. That is until the dose increases sufficiently so cerebral activity is always 'on', or when at lower doses when another wave of cerebral activity occurs which in turn spins the wheel and gives shrooms something to work with.

You can get this similar thing happening during illness where there is less mental activity and you can't seem to force your thinking/it just seems sort of vacant and static like.

 

[Camponotus]

THIS does pretty much relate to Amanita too!!!
especially when combined with other psychedelics!
it‘s somehow disscociative purging?

 

[Swayambhu]

I've experienced this too. I put it down to reticence or ill-preparedness on my part, or more specifically I understand it as one perhaps "deliriant" effect of the fungi coming to the fore due to bio-chemical reasons, such as diet or drug (cannabis in my case) use in the hours or days proir to the experience, or tiredness, or other distractive factors, such as excessive screen use.
I frequently experience it when I'm tired and I get a bit too stoned (usually with a few beers inside me too; I multi task!). I just surrender to it, let the static and mental stuttering do what it will, and float downstream.

 

[Swayambhu]

If you want to meditate why are you deliberately introducing another extraneous factor (shrooms) into your mental apparatus? Completely defeats the point of meditation. And also kind of answers your question here, which you answered yourself already too - the shroom state of mind needs something to latch on to, to focus on.

This will sound pedantic, but not all meditation is mindfulness/empty mind meditiation. A lot of meditation is about filling your mind with something. Done with extreme caution, the fungi can help.

 

[grollum]

Thanks for all the answeres.
I would differentiate between two of those chaotic states. The one is the unpleasant I all ready described which I already tried to describe. The other one is a quite chaotic state with funny faces grinning grimaces telling strange jokes embedded in geometric alienesc patterns. This second state is absolutely shapeable and I can use it or simply observe it.
Also it might seem similar I would absolutely seperate it from the first state which is unpleasant uncontrollable as well as somehow unreleasable.

Does this happen at the third hour or at the sixth? In my experiences in silence I do recognize this as a common ocurrence, but I dont try to work through it and just enjoy it (least the confusion is too much to be enjoyed!) If you and I are speaking of the same thing I believe that this phase in the psychedelic experience is the disolution of the ego...the ego functions with what it built in the past, memories like phantoms in the brain, and this stage of restlesness, perhaps confusion, eliminates the past from the scene, disolving the ego.


What is the idea of silence? I don't think it carries an idea. One can be listening to music, turn it off, now one is listening to the silence. The brain just points attention, the intensity of that attention has to do with the amount of peace the human has. Having said that of course silence and music are different and each has its magic.

It appears more often in the end of the trip. I am not sure if I would equal it with the dissolution of the ego. Ego death I would more position in the height of the trip. The idea of silence for me really is a better concentration on to my inner self. Almost no distraction through anything outside myself.

I will try music in the future to carry me and support me a bit on the parts where I experience those chewy trapped state.

If you want to meditate why are you deliberately introducing another extraneous factor (shrooms) into your mental apparatus? Completely defeats the point of meditation. And also kind of answers your question here, which you answered yourself already too - the shroom state of mind needs something to latch on to, to focus on.

There are so many different ways to meditate like Swayambhu says. For me it is not that I want to completely empty my mind. It is more about observing whats coming up inside me. This is also a great thing on shrooms I would say. Be there. Be aware what the shrooms might offer to you.
But I understand what you want to say and that might really relate to me. If one tries to hard to keep your mind aware that might hold you back from letting go.
But being aware to a certain point brings foreword inner things with whom you and the shrooms than can work.

You can get this similar thing happening during illness where there is less mental activity and you can't seem to force your thinking/it just seems sort of vacant and static like.

This is a good example how the state I am talking about feels like.

I've experienced this too. I put it down to reticence or ill-preparedness on my part, or more specifically I understand it as one perhaps "deliriant" effect of the fungi coming to the fore due to bio-chemical reasons, such as diet or drug (cannabis in my case) use in the hours or days proir to the experience, or tiredness, or other distractive factors, such as excessive screen use.
I frequently experience it when I'm tired and I get a bit too stoned (usually with a few beers inside me too; I multi task!). I just surrender to it, let the static and mental stuttering do what it will, and float downstream.

It is appears more often when I am not so prepared or in general not in a well state. Like stressed from work or similar factors. Lots of screen use prior the trip is absolutely a factor as well which changes the experience and can result in such states.