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Dear Nexus; I've Realized I Am an Addict and a Loser

Migrated topic.
Perhaps this happens because of the way DMT is eventually viewed by abusing it.

Life should supplement the experience and the experience should supplement life because life is experience is memory is dream. DMT helps enlighten your life, and your life helps DMT enlighten you.

Perhaps this "addict mind" is the one you're most reliant upon for living. Use a different mind for once, and aim for being as happy with its use as you've been with your "addict mind." On second thought, if you do that this "new mind-type" will take over your life just as the DMT mind did.

But ya, that's how our minds work, we each really have many minds. Each of these minds is associated with different kind of behaviors and memories and feelings. When you feel an impulse to go in some direction you should investigate, and if it seems worthwhile explore, play, and develop that mind!!

I'll suggest some things from personal experience:

-Read! A VERY good series is Opposing Viewpoints, they have every controversial topic and they are what the series' name suggests, diverse and unique opinions. Just think how enlightening that could potentially be! I know I want to read them all!

-oh, and a very awesome, life-encompassing book on the brain and its minds: The Evolution of Consciousness by Robert Ornstein. I honestly almost believe 'someone' doesn't want people reading it because it feels like God speaks through this guy to give comfort and solace once more to mankind, but society seems completely unaffected by its philosophical implications and ANSWERS, friggin ACTUAL ANSWERS to the most troubling philosophical questions such as existentialism. It's like what DMT wants you to know in the form of a book.

-Classic movies. I've recently been tuning in to TCM, and I really like what I see. 1930's movies are way better than most of today's Hollywood stank.

-Exercise. Swimming, jogging, capoiera-conditioning (excellent, the epitome of keeping fit and strong), freerunning. I stopped freerunning lately -- I've been down -- but it was getting very fun, always freerunning away from baddies in my dreams.

-check out local non-profit or activist groups, research their cause and see if you wanna help.

-enjoy nature, track wildlife and observe it.

-learn to play an instrument. I believe that, as with language, it may be best to approach it like a baby does. All work and no play makes anyone a dull player. But some music theory should be learned at some point, too.

-for help with writing, I know of two good books: The Norton Reader, and The Bedford Reader. They both contain MANY great, diverse essays and writings, and then intelligent questions about them which the reader should answer with their own essays. Lol, I just realized something I'm gonna be pushing myself to do.

-find your own calling(s)! Find and follow your moose!

and THEN smoalk more!
 
Dedalus said:
Perhaps this happens because of the way DMT is eventually viewed by abusing it.

Life should supplement the experience and the experience should supplement life because life is experience is memory is dream. DMT helps enlighten your life, and your life helps DMT enlighten you.

Perhaps this "addict mind" is the one you're most reliant upon for living. Use a different mind for once, and aim for being as happy with its use as you've been with your "addict mind." On second thought, if you do that this "new mind-type" will take over your life just as the DMT mind did.

-Read! A VERY good series is Opposing Viewpoints, they have every controversial topic and they are what the series' name suggests, diverse and unique opinions. Just think how enlightening that could potentially be! I know I want to read them all!

-oh, and a very awesome, life-encompassing book on the brain and its minds: The Evolution of Consciousness by Robert Ornstein. I honestly almost believe 'someone' doesn't want people reading it because it feels like God speaks through this guy to give comfort and solace once more to mankind, but society seems completely unaffected by its philosophical implications and ANSWERS, friggin ACTUAL ANSWERS to the most troubling philosophical questions such as existentialism. It's like what DMT wants you to know in the form of a book.

-Classic movies (Music)

-Exercise. Swimming, jogging, capoiera-conditioning (excellent, the epitome of keeping fit and strong), freerunning. I stopped freerunning lately -- I've been down -- but it was getting very fun, always freerunning away from baddies in my dreams.

-learn to play an instrument. I believe that, as with language, it may be best to approach it like a baby does. All work and no play makes anyone a dull player. But some music theory should be learned at some point, too.
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So if DMT showed me that different point of view in which I used to derive my motivation from, allowing me to do things like practicing a healthy diet while exercising, reading more often and also figuring out that I love playing piano, what part of that makes me an addict?

For me DMT was that different point of view on reality. I alone picked apart my experiences and what they meant to me.

But then again, all of this is relative. DMT is just a chemical, and the way it effects living creatures appears quite unique, but it does not contain the, "story" or "trip" from which we learn from, we do, it only acts as the key. In essence, we are simply learning from ourselves.
 
I think everyone has there own addiction, and a lot of it may fall into just how you do things like your routine, and things become habit, like people are addicted to working and addicted to making money, it varies obv person to person, but maybe you can get some what of a point im trying to make.

I am addicted to many things.
 
Steely wrote:
So if DMT showed me that different point of view in which I used to derive my motivation from, allowing me to do things like practicing a healthy diet while exercising, reading more often and also figuring out that I love playing piano, what part of that makes me an addict?

For me DMT was that different point of view on reality. I alone picked apart my experiences and what they meant to me.

But then again, all of this is relative. DMT is just a chemical, and the way it effects living creatures appears quite unique, but it does not contain the, "story" or "trip" from which we learn from, we do, it only acts as the key. In essence, we are simply learning from ourselves.
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That's what I meant by "your life helps DMT enlighten you." My opening sentence wasn't well construed, as well as the third paragraph. By the "addict mind" I meant only the negative things associated with it, not the positive ones, which you mention. In the rest of my post I tried defining the opposite of abusing DMT.

Thank you, Steely; I feel I've gained some valuable insight into my writing from your input :)
 
Livingstrategy said:
I'm not really good at making posts like this, but in this case I couldn't help it. Apoc, I can't thank you enough for this post. I swear we must have been chewing on the same stuff for the last week or two because this pretty much sums up my most recent philosophical obsession. Infinite legitimate perspectives existing in the universe, the 'self' fucking things up because it can't stand to get out of the way, coming from 'true inspiration' by simply not doing and allowing the universe to act through you or unfold before you, sick of judgement, realizing that no matter how angry I am at the way things are or the way people are, they are what they are, the universe is what it is, all perspectives are valid, my anger and resistance only worsens things, I too, am a fool.
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Glad to have brightened your day.

For the people who may not have understood the spirit of this thread, I'll just explain it. I wasn't saying that I'm addicted to dmt or any drug. The thread and the opening was written that way to make you think I was talking about being addicted to dmt, and feeling like a failure. But the thread is actually about the important lessons learned from hoasca sessions, and how losing the karmic spin of the I allows for a natural, peaceful unfolding of life, beyond the duality of success vs failure.
 
My friend just returned from a very pleasant yet exhausting series of trips. Although a lot of work was required, the trips were refreshing in the sense that much baggage was left behind and she now sees with a more neutral perspective. As she integrates back to normal living, she's sensing lots of mindgames that others want her to play. She knows these games because she has played along in the past...but they aren't any fun, and they waste energy. She surely has her own games to play but does not want to spend any energy doing that either. With a neutral perspective, she sees how easy it is to fall into little traps set by others. She thinks she is addicted to playing other people's games. She thinks it might only be a matter of time before her perspective clouds and the games will be full on.

A little example: Today my friend came upon a nasty lady abusing the man behind the delicatessen counter. My friend tried to joke and distract the lady's nastiness to take the heat away from the Deli-man. It worked and the lady stopped talking, but what an energy waste since she started chewing into my friend. There's so much of this type of crap people do to each other.

It's remarkable how much energy we spend chasing after things with no value. A neutral perspective is really a nice state but it places you in a sensitive place by exposing all sorts of ugly crap. From my friend's perspective, it looks like people really work hard to maintain an addiction to this crap. Mostly ego driven I guess.
 
I gotta admit, I don't always mind being on one side of the coin or the other. Having an opposition to help define myself. Having habits that I disdain and need to break, having my boat set with all it's own unique goods and markings. That's me, this is what I like very much, this I could do without for some time. It allows change to work through me. The wind may chase nothing at all, just blow things around here and there, and once in a while mean something.

At the same time. I agree, there is a huge power lurking about, that appears only when you stop the ego 'i' from running the show.

We do exist from the same consciousness, but, imo, we are here to upset old rocks and run about making noise, we're here to fuck with each other and bump again and again to realize ourselves. It's all for change, for breathe in breathe out. If you can stand back though, and view things with no attachment, then you will see power and creativity pour from somewhere that seems somewhere 'else'.

But really, addict and loser gives you a negative connotation that I do not think you deserve. Be real with yourself, make changes to be what you want, and compromise enough to enjoy. That's what I'm trying anyway.

To express yourself in freedom,you must die to everything of yesterday. From the 'old' you derive security; from the 'new' you derive flow. - Bruce Lee
 
I think the terms *addict* and *loser* are well chosen in this context and are not meant in a self deprecating manner. They merely point to an underlying characteristic of most humans: clinging to certain patterns, falling into an emotional-inertia trap. There seems to be a deeply routed fear of utter transformation, which could and would happen at any and every moment if we would let it. We could be free of our histories in terms of emotional attachment, if we let ourselves. But most of the times most of us don't - we are addicted to what we think we need to identify with, which is not really the self but just a neurotic cramp within the real personality.

Here is one of my favorite quotes that I think is fitting in this context:

~ The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. ~
Charles DuBois
 
Nice post Apoc, have you heard of Self inquiry?

Its an identity questioning practice where everything comes down to the question of 'who am i?'
Without fail everytime it cuts through to that perfect space as the true identity/Self

Your post just sounded so ripe for such a powerful practice
'I' highly recommend it 8)
 
Chronic said:
Nice post Apoc, have you heard of Self inquiry?

Its an identity questioning practice where everything comes down to the question of 'who am i?'
Without fail everytime it cuts through to that perfect space as the true identity/Self

Your post just sounded so ripe for such a powerful practice
'I' highly recommend it 8)
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yes, thanks, Ramana.

DMTripper said:
We just get used to things. You can call it addiction. It's what we know and are familiar with.
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Agree. But a potential problem that arises is people find it nearly impossible to part with what is familiar. Or worse, people think of what is familiar as the same thing as what is right, and won't entertain other ideas or ways of living, or people. Just some potential pitfalls of attachment.

And so, I assert that things we get used to can have the exact same effect as addiction. We come to depend on the things we are familiar with. We go through withdrawal symptoms if we have to give up things we are familiar with. The body gets confused, and it feels bad when we go without the things we are used to because the things we are used to give us our usual fix that we feel we need to survive. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, necessarily, it's just how the body works. But it can be problematic if one feels they cannot possibly go without the things they've become familiar with, whether it be physical thins, or psychological things..... for no other reason than they feel comfortable with what is familiar.
 
Wow I too thought you were going somewhere else completely at first.

But yes I totally see what you see.
We people are in a miserable condition and to confront and admit that is the first step out of that miserable state.
Very illuminating Apoc!
Eckhart Tolle was a mayor help for me to become aware of this shadow within me and now you are too.

Becomming aware of the insanity in others is not hard at all, but it's only when we become aware of this same Insanity within ourselves that we can begin to end this Miserable way of being.
This self-awareness will have to puncture through layers of harsh inner resistance first; Something most people don't dare or even want to do.

But we can enable ourselves to fundamentally change only if we first become aware of our Miserable State and then decide we want to change, no matter how Terrifying, Painfull, Shamefull or Sad it may feel.

You put this in words very clearly and direct, Apoc. Your insight and clearity are much appreciated.
 
I don't think any of us our losers... Rather most of us are just products of a system that is most obviously corrupt, and wrong and is trying to imprison our minds, and give us the separatist, "pain body" if you will perspective. We can all achieve states of profound enlightenment and joy WITHOUT substances such as DMT or the like. I have had experiences with deep meditation that mirror shroom and acid trips, and many trip reports I've read here on the Nexus, as well as others friends have shared with me. We don't need DMT, its just another thing some of us choose to use to enhance our own Human experience...

Just my opinion on things. Journey well my friends.
 
╖CoffeeBlack&EggWhite╖ said:
I don't think any of us our losers... Rather most of us are just products of a system that is most obviously corrupt, and wrong and is trying to imprison our minds, and give us the separatist, "pain body" if you will perspective. We can all achieve states of profound enlightenment and joy WITHOUT substances such as DMT or the like. I have had experiences with deep meditation that mirror shroom and acid trips, and many trip reports I've read here on the Nexus, as well as others friends have shared with me. We don't need DMT, its just another thing some of us choose to use to enhance our own Human experience...

Just my opinion on things. Journey well my friends.
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Ok thanks for digging up
 
Hi Apoc. I've gotta say that this thread can easily be misunderstood, but i'm hoping i've got the jist of it...

-Ok, so you are saying that you are addicted to certain "negative feelings of dis-ease", and now you have realised that the only person stopping yourself from being happy is you??

-To me that translates as the fact that you now realise that you have been running away from yourself and your true wants for quite a while, using elaborate excuses of "i guess i'm doing this because i don't like change, etc"...( we all do this, and in doing so we are still running away-UNLESS WE ACT ON THIS!). ok, point made. Stop making excuses, do what you need to do, make plans, set goals, get help, start acting-simple as that. Every "sucessful" person acted over making excuses, to reach their great heights in life..and so can you, should you choose to do so. Do not give into fear.


-Addiction sounds like a bad word, but it's only bad if it's addiction to negative things. We are all addicted to survival, but from there on we have a duty to use that as a fertile ground from which we express life through ourselves, and allow it to flower by choosing a positive attitude to life...😉
 
Lodi said:
I wouldnt call myself a loser, because "no man is a failure who has friends". be your friends humans, walking and talking amongst you, or the rose, or wildflower, the mountain and the tempest, the fox or the bear.

If we look closely, we can see a magnificent sermon being preached, not being read from the Holy Bible, or the Quran, This bible is universal... We can hear the words blowing with the breeze, flying under the wings of a bird, and we can see all of this if we just look for ourselves, and stop waiting for people to give us the proof we need in order to have faith in anything.

It has been often the night when I lay awake, listening to the sermon being preached, the rain drops rap tap tapping on my window sill. Or the wonderful symphony of chirping crickets or croaking frogs. At these times I have come to complete peace with the world, and a bad day is when I find myself angry with the rest, wondering why nobody els can see how beautiful they are, how beautiful our existence is, and how beautiful the world and all that live within..
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Lodi this was beautiful. It sent chills down my spine.

Nature IS and IS NOT all things. The nature of life is simply duality. You can deny or accept it. With acceptance come grace, the grace of nature. Let these things take you in and embrace you...
 
Apoc said:
And so, I assert that things we get used to can have the exact same effect as addiction. We come to depend on the things we are familiar with. We go through withdrawal symptoms if we have to give up things we are familiar with. The body gets confused, and it feels bad when we go without the things we are used to because the things we are used to give us our usual fix that we feel we need to survive. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, necessarily, it's just how the body works. But it can be problematic if one feels they cannot possibly go without the things they've become familiar with, whether it be physical thins, or psychological things..... for no other reason than they feel comfortable with what is familiar.
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-mmmm, please don't take this personally, but i'm gonna sound brutal here and say that unless you are ill or disabled, then those words sound like words spoken from the weak, Apoc. Most western people are living a life of luxury, and have nothing to really be too concerned with...just trivial concerns. You don't need your plasma tv, sports car, luxury house. All you need is the bare basics of a place to live in, an income, and some good company. Travelling made me realise that there are many, many talented people living with next to nothing, but do they go about feeling sorry for themselves??-NOPE!...They are always out and about where the real riches are-in the natural environment in the company of others, away from their own minds.

-So forget the "familiar" excuse, nature is always around in one form or another. There is always gonna be someone to say "hello" to, and as long as you can eat, sleep, smile and laugh...then that isn't too bad. I'm sure if i sat down and started thinking, then i could come up with many reasons to be unhappy with my life, and so could every living person. Life is a process of continual growth, and part of that is facing up to the way we make excuses to stay stuck in a rut rather than make the effort we NEED to make to Grow. Talk is cheap, and it changes nothing. The only thing that can break through the weak words of addiction, and 'dependance on familiarity' are TAKING POSITIVE ACTIONS, in line with your life goals...😉

-When you're living in line with your goals your energy will be aligned in a positive direction, and you will find that your past addictions to 'dis-ease' fall away (as those are aligned with negative energy). You will become a person of ease, and will feel at home there, and life will become a flow, rather than a struggle.....:idea:

-As they say, life is what you make of it. It can be a pleasure or a nightmare. It's your choice, up 2 u. 8)
 
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