McShroomer
Rising Star
Dear DMT-Nexus members,
as a beginner on this journey I want to ask you experienced psychonauts, if I just been scammed on my Ayahuasca retreat. I would like to hear your opinion before I jump to conclusions what happened there.
I did quite a long research about treatment of depression and anxieties with help of Ayahuasca. I was reading this forum, but also many articles and sources around to whole web for almost 1 year. I treated this subject(and still I am) with huge respect.
So I saved money (1500$) and booked one week (3 ceremonies) retreat in Peru, inside jungle, with only 5 participants, good feedbacks at ayaadvisors and certified wester shaman. Everything as I should be. I prepared my mindset well and I guess did everything correct on my side.
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So my first ceremony I felt no stress at all, have my head completely calm, focused and treated our shaman with huge respect and trust. I walked into ceremony, and drink my first cup. Is surprised me a little bit that taste was quite fine, i drank more horrible stuff in my life. It was dark wattery liquid, I had no problem to swalow it at all. Before I was reading that it should taste horrible and had bad smell and be oily liquid, it was not this case. I went to my place and stay focused in lotus siting. I focused on icaros which sounds magical. after like hour my hand started to moving in rhythm of icaros, later on I felt a pressure in my head. Something opened my jaw and mouth and I had feel that something like energy snake is entering my mouth and also nose. Voice around sounds like vibration ls what cat is doind when you cuddle her. I felt these snake-like energies and doing something in my nose/forehead and my stomach for hours. So thats about it, no purging and no visuals. I was all the time present in hut and sound of icaros was moving around me. It felt magical.
2nd ceremony I was prepared to go deeper, so after 1st cup, after 1 hour I asked for 2nd cup. During this ceremony, again nobody from our group was purging(puke or poo), there were no visuals, no voices, I was all the time present in hut. I just felt like something is puting crown on my head, I felt presure in my head/brain area and thats about it.
after 2nd ceremony I confronted shaman, which brings Ayahuasca to ceremonies in plastic bottles, that maybe its a weak stuff, because nobody is purging or have some life changing experiences, and also its not oily and it taste fine. I suggested, that maybe we should cook our Ayahuasca together in retreat. I had been given defensive answer, that there is nothing wrong with Ayahuasca, that we can not cook it there, because there is no vine growing around retreat and that I should be more open in ceremkny and that maybe problem is me.
on 3rd ceremony I walked in pissed off, I knew that nothing is going to happen, so again no stress. I didnt trust shaman anymore and I feel scammed. I drunk my cup and ... surprise ... nothing happened, I had been all the time sober during whole ceremony, icaros doesnt sounds magical at all and in the middle of ceremony I just walked out to walk iside the forest. I didnt even felt presure in my head.
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Shaman told me, that somebody doesnt feel any effect from Ayahuasca first 5-10-30 times. I was thinking, that I dont even need to focus or meditate to have some at least visual effect. I was thinking that we should see some snakes, forests, cities, other dimensions, insects, big cats, whatever in our trips, but nobody see them. I was thinking that if Ayahuasca is good prepared, after drinking it everybody should have some experience, been transformed to these magical caleidoscope tunnels etc.
So please tell me, what happened during that retreat ? Is there something wrong with me ? I dedicated so much time, trust and energy to it, and then I am back from retreat and I learned nothing and had no experiences at all
Thank you for your insights
as a beginner on this journey I want to ask you experienced psychonauts, if I just been scammed on my Ayahuasca retreat. I would like to hear your opinion before I jump to conclusions what happened there.
I did quite a long research about treatment of depression and anxieties with help of Ayahuasca. I was reading this forum, but also many articles and sources around to whole web for almost 1 year. I treated this subject(and still I am) with huge respect.
So I saved money (1500$) and booked one week (3 ceremonies) retreat in Peru, inside jungle, with only 5 participants, good feedbacks at ayaadvisors and certified wester shaman. Everything as I should be. I prepared my mindset well and I guess did everything correct on my side.
-------
So my first ceremony I felt no stress at all, have my head completely calm, focused and treated our shaman with huge respect and trust. I walked into ceremony, and drink my first cup. Is surprised me a little bit that taste was quite fine, i drank more horrible stuff in my life. It was dark wattery liquid, I had no problem to swalow it at all. Before I was reading that it should taste horrible and had bad smell and be oily liquid, it was not this case. I went to my place and stay focused in lotus siting. I focused on icaros which sounds magical. after like hour my hand started to moving in rhythm of icaros, later on I felt a pressure in my head. Something opened my jaw and mouth and I had feel that something like energy snake is entering my mouth and also nose. Voice around sounds like vibration ls what cat is doind when you cuddle her. I felt these snake-like energies and doing something in my nose/forehead and my stomach for hours. So thats about it, no purging and no visuals. I was all the time present in hut and sound of icaros was moving around me. It felt magical.
2nd ceremony I was prepared to go deeper, so after 1st cup, after 1 hour I asked for 2nd cup. During this ceremony, again nobody from our group was purging(puke or poo), there were no visuals, no voices, I was all the time present in hut. I just felt like something is puting crown on my head, I felt presure in my head/brain area and thats about it.
after 2nd ceremony I confronted shaman, which brings Ayahuasca to ceremonies in plastic bottles, that maybe its a weak stuff, because nobody is purging or have some life changing experiences, and also its not oily and it taste fine. I suggested, that maybe we should cook our Ayahuasca together in retreat. I had been given defensive answer, that there is nothing wrong with Ayahuasca, that we can not cook it there, because there is no vine growing around retreat and that I should be more open in ceremkny and that maybe problem is me.
on 3rd ceremony I walked in pissed off, I knew that nothing is going to happen, so again no stress. I didnt trust shaman anymore and I feel scammed. I drunk my cup and ... surprise ... nothing happened, I had been all the time sober during whole ceremony, icaros doesnt sounds magical at all and in the middle of ceremony I just walked out to walk iside the forest. I didnt even felt presure in my head.
----------
Shaman told me, that somebody doesnt feel any effect from Ayahuasca first 5-10-30 times. I was thinking, that I dont even need to focus or meditate to have some at least visual effect. I was thinking that we should see some snakes, forests, cities, other dimensions, insects, big cats, whatever in our trips, but nobody see them. I was thinking that if Ayahuasca is good prepared, after drinking it everybody should have some experience, been transformed to these magical caleidoscope tunnels etc.
So please tell me, what happened during that retreat ? Is there something wrong with me ? I dedicated so much time, trust and energy to it, and then I am back from retreat and I learned nothing and had no experiences at all
Thank you for your insights
. It would be hocus pocus free lol. I would go there once just to see how you do with the medicine then i would start making your own. RB is a good guy, He's always on chat at