difficulty with integrating my trips

[Desert0ctopus]

Hello all. I have a problem. I am having trouble integrating experiences. I have attempted to break through many times. and have succeeded a few times too. The trouble is that any time my trip begins to turn unpleasant i seem to shut off. i cant explain it much better than that. its like i stop thinking about the trip. concentrate on some thought in my mind and kill my journey into hyperspace. the worst part is that i seem to not be able to help it.

I just smoked a breakthrough dose about an hour and a half ago. and was sent somewhere, but its like only part of my mind was sent. i definitely saw stuff, but i dont remember what, only vague memories last. when i came back everything felt wrong for the next 30 min. sound was echoey and metalic. my roomies got home right after i came back and it felt like they all knew something i didnt. i felt confused and braindead. stagnant. Has anyone else felt like i felt?

 

[kyrolima]

Ok,
first of all, don't put pressure on you! You choose to dive - so you will be shown.

When I think back to the earlier days of my usage, I was kinda the same. Only very few memories of what actually happened.
As I progressed and became more authentic with who I was and what I was doing - the more my personality reflected this "field" we are drawn into, while being on a dmt trip.

You got to change a LOT.

Don't cling to your toughts,

 

[Desert0ctopus]

I have an old lanyard i have always worn while fishing. i will describe it: It is a necklace of two parts. The top part, which is the part that sits around my neck, is made of some old multi-colored shoe string. For comfort there are 3 bits of black rubber foam tubing on it. The bottom part is beaded with dark and light wooden beads, alternating 3 dark 2 light, 3 dark, 2 light and so on. At the bottom center of this lanyard is a cork. the cork is from an old wine bottle, it has many holes in it from the countless flies it has held over the years. This lanyard was given to me by my father, who taught me how to fish. This lanyard is now my Totem.

i was getting ready to challenge hyperspace one more time when suddenly the thought of this lanyard popped into my head. For some reason i have never given my lanyard a whole lot of significance other than as a thing to hold my fly fishing tools on, but now i think of all of the memories attached to it.... it suddenly has power. its power is to unlock my own spiritual power.

I am ready.

*edit*

I wrote this last night after a small non breakthrough dose. I saw a post where someone recommended " building a relationship with the spice" first. i think that is sound advice.

 

[endlessness]

Hello friend,

Did you read the Health and Safety section, particularly the Integration part?