Hello. I want to talk about my latest experience with Pharmahuasca. It’s something I have been testing extensively the last 4 weeks, almost every day in various dosages and it is by far the most therapeutic “thing” I have encountered. I have tried numerous psychedelics and drugs of all kinds (except SSRIS) generally to work out with my issues as part of a therapeutic approach among other crucial things like lifestyle changes. It feels the most natural approach for working out things to the core of my being.
Ok, the experience. Yesterday I took 120 mg DMT (from Mimosa) with 4 grams of Syrian Rue (I boiled the Syrian Rue 3x and concentrated in a liquid where ~1ml=1gr). I waited for about an hour to feel something but I did not. I then proceeded to take another 50 mg DMT with 1 ml (1 gram) of Syrian Rue extra.
Not another 10 minutes had passed and I felt it coming. My thought patterns started becoming irregular, and various “waving” patterns started appearing where I was looking with my eyes open. Acknowledging the fact that It begins, I turned off the lights and sat quietly in the dark. I laid totally down on the floor and while other times I was seeing various images in my mind with my eyes closed, one coming after the other, feeling my heart beating fast, this time I had no images. And I felt totally calm.
Immediately I started working out a situation (the most toxic erotic relationship I ever had) that had been troubling me for years, that had affected my subconscious in nasty ways about love and friendship. I forgave her, I forgave the “friend” that had been fucking her pretending to be my friend at the same time. I really did, deep from my heart, unconditionally. I said to myself “From now on this “situation” does not have any effect on my mind, I move on with my life without looking back, this is FINISHED”. Well, something like that, I don’t remember completely the exact words but I remember the FEELING. Immediately after that I started feeling reborn. I felt as if my psychological situation really begins from zero, that nothing is recorded, blank state to fill it with every beautiful realization I want.
And then something else happened. I started thinking about the latest slaughter of Palestinians in Gaza, started thinking about genocides, started wondering where my humanity really lies. I wondered why my tiny egoistic problems stemming from bad relationship among other things kept me away from compassion, of feeling the pain of those people, of revolting intellectually against something like that, really revolting, not just acknowledging that such acts are monstrous.
I started writing how I feel about this. Started putting my feelings to words. For the first time in my life I was writing something with true, deep emotions. I was writing for about 45 minutes and when I got done, I was searching for a pic considering the slaughter of Palestinians. I found the pic I attached in this post. Just by looking at the picture I started crying uncontrollably, crying deeply. It totally moved me, while I was crying like I had not cried in years. After I stopped crying, I felt a kind of salvation.
I proceeded to upload the whole thing I was writing with the picture in my Facebook page. After a while, a girl sent me a message, commenting on what I had written. For the next 2 hours I had a very deep communication with this person. Very deep with subtle erotical undertones. It felt like a found an erotic soulmate. I have arranged to see her in 2 days from now.
Almost all the time of the “trip” I felt enormous amounts of mental clarity. Like the movie Limitless, having taken the wonder drug NZT-48. Only this felt totally natural, being totally in the flow of thoughts and things. If I had one word for the whole experience it would be “Divine”. Like it shows me in front of my eyes what I am truly capable of doing, of feeling without limitation. For a long time my heart has been cold, I felt this changing since yesterday. I really felt reborn.
I really feel blessed for integrating something so therapeutic as this in my life. Almost every time I take the medicine, I think of how I could help as many people as possible to feel being cured, like I am.
Thank you for reading this.
Ok, the experience. Yesterday I took 120 mg DMT (from Mimosa) with 4 grams of Syrian Rue (I boiled the Syrian Rue 3x and concentrated in a liquid where ~1ml=1gr). I waited for about an hour to feel something but I did not. I then proceeded to take another 50 mg DMT with 1 ml (1 gram) of Syrian Rue extra.
Not another 10 minutes had passed and I felt it coming. My thought patterns started becoming irregular, and various “waving” patterns started appearing where I was looking with my eyes open. Acknowledging the fact that It begins, I turned off the lights and sat quietly in the dark. I laid totally down on the floor and while other times I was seeing various images in my mind with my eyes closed, one coming after the other, feeling my heart beating fast, this time I had no images. And I felt totally calm.
Immediately I started working out a situation (the most toxic erotic relationship I ever had) that had been troubling me for years, that had affected my subconscious in nasty ways about love and friendship. I forgave her, I forgave the “friend” that had been fucking her pretending to be my friend at the same time. I really did, deep from my heart, unconditionally. I said to myself “From now on this “situation” does not have any effect on my mind, I move on with my life without looking back, this is FINISHED”. Well, something like that, I don’t remember completely the exact words but I remember the FEELING. Immediately after that I started feeling reborn. I felt as if my psychological situation really begins from zero, that nothing is recorded, blank state to fill it with every beautiful realization I want.
And then something else happened. I started thinking about the latest slaughter of Palestinians in Gaza, started thinking about genocides, started wondering where my humanity really lies. I wondered why my tiny egoistic problems stemming from bad relationship among other things kept me away from compassion, of feeling the pain of those people, of revolting intellectually against something like that, really revolting, not just acknowledging that such acts are monstrous.
I started writing how I feel about this. Started putting my feelings to words. For the first time in my life I was writing something with true, deep emotions. I was writing for about 45 minutes and when I got done, I was searching for a pic considering the slaughter of Palestinians. I found the pic I attached in this post. Just by looking at the picture I started crying uncontrollably, crying deeply. It totally moved me, while I was crying like I had not cried in years. After I stopped crying, I felt a kind of salvation.
I proceeded to upload the whole thing I was writing with the picture in my Facebook page. After a while, a girl sent me a message, commenting on what I had written. For the next 2 hours I had a very deep communication with this person. Very deep with subtle erotical undertones. It felt like a found an erotic soulmate. I have arranged to see her in 2 days from now.
Almost all the time of the “trip” I felt enormous amounts of mental clarity. Like the movie Limitless, having taken the wonder drug NZT-48. Only this felt totally natural, being totally in the flow of thoughts and things. If I had one word for the whole experience it would be “Divine”. Like it shows me in front of my eyes what I am truly capable of doing, of feeling without limitation. For a long time my heart has been cold, I felt this changing since yesterday. I really felt reborn.
I really feel blessed for integrating something so therapeutic as this in my life. Almost every time I take the medicine, I think of how I could help as many people as possible to feel being cured, like I am.
Thank you for reading this.