Dmt breakthrough maoi mistake

[BassCat]

This is my first trip report/breakthrough looking for any feedback given the limited information I can recall would be really appreciated.

So first off Ive smoked dmt in small to medium doses many times but have always been nervouse about higher doses until the other day when I decided to go all in with a changa bongrip.

It was a very full bowl and within seconds of taking the hit I guess I droppped my bong straight on the floor which didnt even register till I got back.

Things got very intense super quick. I heard a voice ''Gotchya''
and then was overloaded with Imagery happening so fast my only thoughts before complete blackout was 'this is it im going to be brain dead''. Sort of drifting back conciously still being forcefed visuals that were like some geometric slideshow in 10d at a speed that left me feel so sick a Voice said ''youre likely not coming back from this''. Grasping for some sense of reality because it felt like my brain literally was shutting down I stripped myself naked (only recall a very brief moment of this)I started crashing around my room (judging my the mess) Blackout. Somehow I held onto a sliver of strength enough that things started slowing down ''i felt like ok I might have psychosis but Im not going to die. Not able to think at all again I felt like I was being reborn the insane visuals felt like they were putting my mind backtogether at a slower calmer rate of euphoric beautiful integration. drifting down a geometric watterfall in blackness I woke up in the fetal position (thinking why Im I naked oh the bongs broke my living room trashed still vividly tripping like i was on 3 tabs peaking with fractal blackholes In the walls I knew it would be ok.

TLDR died/rebirth? woke up naked fetal position with a broken bong

 

[Voidmatrix]

That was great

How are you feeling now? Many trips can have both rough sides and more blissful ones (just two of many "kinds" or "senses" of hyperspace journeys). Kind of how mine yesterday was (where I took my shirt off in the peak).

Learning how to remain as calm as possible regardless of what comes up is invaluable.

Thanks for sharing. A kind of bedtime story for me.

One love

 

[BassCat]

very much like your comment on being calm. Ive been experimenting with mushrooms/acid with very rare bad experiences over 12 years but this was like 10x the intensity like you get one second of thought for what feels like 10 minutes of experience so maybe i need to experiment with changa in lower doses before ever again attempting breakthrough.


in addition feel like I need to take these high level trips very seriously from now on with a guide or something. I didnt mention that I take dexadrine on and off which being new to changa I forgot about the conflict of maoi oops did them same day. my friend thinks death spoke to me and Id like to believe that over some malovolent being trying to torture my soul. It was beyond ecstatic coming back like some deep spiritual concepts were being embedded into my rebirth. I really dont think this will be by last trip despite how horrifying it all was but Im soo grateful for being alive. calm thoughtfulness has been pervasive the last couple days coupled with deep introspection.

 

[PedroSanchez]

voidmatrix nailed it with: "Learning how to remain as calm as possible regardless of what comes up is invaluable".
it is important to remember that you are not going to die, you are not going to get 'stuck there' or anything like that, it is not a life destroying drug like alcohol
you are there to observe and interact in a non-physical way (at least not physical like our body). it can be difficult to remember that in the chaos of the moment though, but getting your mind in that place before hand can help a lot.
it is common for people to meditate before and get their intentions straight, that might be a good thing for you to try. you don't necessarily need to meditate properly, just take 5-10 mins to sit and think about what you are trying to achieve from your trip (no wrong answers, even if it is just to have a great time) without distractions. take that time to remind yourself that it is not going to harm you and it is just a viewing window and get those thoughts solidified in your mind, because they are both true.

 

[Voidmatrix]

very much like your comment on being calm. Ive been experimenting with mushrooms/acid with very rare bad experiences over 12 years but this was like 10x the intensity like you get one second of thought for what feels like 10 minutes of experience so maybe i need to experiment with changa in lower doses before ever again attempting breakthrough.


in addition feel like I need to take these high level trips very seriously from now on with a guide or something. I didnt mention that I take dexadrine on and off which being new to changa I forgot about the conflict of maoi oops did them same day. my friend thinks death spoke to me and Id like to believe that over some malovolent being trying to torture my soul. It was beyond ecstatic coming back like some deep spiritual concepts were being embedded into my rebirth. I really dont think this will be by last trip despite how horrifying it all was but Im soo grateful for being alive. calm thoughtfulness has been pervasive the last couple days coupled with deep introspection.

Considering how there is very little control over what comes up and we may encounter things we'd rather not, it's good to learn to "be," withholding judgement.

As I've dropped some of my rigidity, I have been using various other things in an experimental effort. I now take three spoon fulls of ginger syrup, which prevents uncontrollable purging and is also calming. I also play around with ashwagandha, lemon balm, and blue lotus. All relaxing in their own ways.

voidmatrix nailed it with: "Learning how to remain as calm as possible regardless of what comes up is invaluable".
it is important to remember that you are not going to die, you are not going to get 'stuck there' or anything like that, it is not a life destroying drug like alcohol Wink
you are there to observe and interact in a non-physical way (at least not physical like our body). it can be difficult to remember that in the chaos of the moment though, but getting your mind in that place before hand can help a lot.
it is common for people to meditate before and get their intentions straight, that might be a good thing for you to try. you don't necessarily need to meditate properly, just take 5-10 mins to sit and think about what you are trying to achieve from your trip (no wrong answers, even if it is just to have a great time) without distractions. take that time to remind yourself that it is not going to harm you and it is just a viewing window and get those thoughts solidified in your mind, because they are both true.

First, thank you

I agree with this, especially with focus on meditation and enjoyment. We do want to approach this space with utmost respect and reverence, but try not to be too uptight about it because that ends up leading to pressure and stress which cause anxiety and hinder staying calm. It's also good to learn to be with negative feelings like fear and anxiety. Allow them to be, and observe.

Also, I tend to be somewhat ceremonial and ritualistic in my use, which includes stretching, taking any adjunct supplements, stretching, visiting the porcelain throne, lighting incense, meditating, and speaking my invocation. At the bare minimum, my invocation is always recited.

I'll share.

Greetings,
I come before you with humility and reverence.
I come seeking (insert intent here)
You, the entheogen, are my teacher.
I am my own facilitator guide and healer.
I make this choice of my own freewill.
Trusting myself, and the entheogen, with confidence and gratitude, I allow myself this experience and now surrender.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

One love

 

[Exitwound]

@OP I second the motion of having a sitter for your trips from now on.

Imagine dropping your glass bong and getting a cut while trying to pick it while DMT hits you. Isn't that a stupid way to get harmed?

Also forgetting about mixing strong medication with harmalas...
You as a drug consumer have only one serious job towards drugs: proper administration. You messed this one as well.

Now all that makes me think, that malevolent being torturing your soul is you. Metaphorical you who was stupidly playing with fire.

Sorry for being direct, but I hope everybody who sees this inluding OP doesn't repeat these mistakes for the sake of their health and safety.

 

[Voidmatrix]

@OP I second the motion of having a sitter for your trips from now on.

Imagine dropping your glass bong and getting a cut while trying to pick it while DMT hits you. Isn't that a stupid way to get harmed?

Also forgetting about mixing strong medication with harmalas...
You as a drug consumer have only one serious job towards drugs: proper administration. You messed this one as well.

Now all that makes me think, that malevolent being torturing your soul is you. Metaphorical you who was stupidly playing with fire.

Sorry for being direct, but I hope everybody who sees this inluding OP doesn't repeat these mistakes for the sake of their health and safety.

I must've read too fast and missed the MAOI + harmala slip up.

Good call on the harm reduction and I second it.

One love

 

[BassCat]

@OP I second the motion of having a sitter for your trips from now on.

Imagine dropping your glass bong and getting a cut while trying to pick it while DMT hits you. Isn't that a stupid way to get harmed?

Also forgetting about mixing strong medication with harmalas...
You as a drug consumer have only one serious job towards drugs: proper administration. You messed this one as well.

Now all that makes me think, that malevolent being torturing your soul is you. Metaphorical you who was stupidly playing with fire.

Sorry for being direct, but I hope everybody who sees this inluding OP doesn't repeat these mistakes for the sake of their health and safety.

I messed up was very stupid ill admit.... so im just hoping someone might learn from my mistake its embarrassing but I felt like it needed to be said. Appreciate the feedback matrix AND pedro

 

[Tomtegubbe]

I had some very scary experiences with DMT early on and I am very grateful for them, because I feel I was being reckless back then and I would not have learned my lesson without those experiences. I think I was saved from much worse things by these encounters. They really made me reconcider my approach to the medicine and my attitude in general.

Jesters made me feel ridiculed for a reason. And then there were some much darker energies I think I got just enough of a look to not venture deeper into that direction.

It is a powerful substance and to be treated with utter respect. It is great teacher who uses harsh methods if you are too stubborn to learn from the lenient ones.

In many cultures there are gargoyle like figures outside temples and sacred areas to evoke necessary awe. You are entering a realm where foolishness is not tolerated. I believe you get to experience the source of this archetype with DMT.

 

[PedroSanchez]

i also missed the part about dexadrine. that can be a dangerous combination as you obviously know. let this be a lesson to others reading it.
it is easy to forget about prescribed medications because we are so relaxed about them (too much trust in the Dr imo).
i'm glad everything worked out and you were able to take such a powerful lesson from the experience
stay safe everybody.

 

[downwardsfromzero]

my friend thinks death spoke to me and Id like to believe that over some malovolent being trying to torture my soul.

This resonated with me for a couple of reasons - apologies in advance for what has turned out to be something of a lengthy ramble!

Last night I got a somewhat stronger experience than I bargained for using just Syrian rue which included a little interlude where I had a conversation with the grim reaper himself. Being harmalas only, this was all quite manageable and reminders of one's mortality tend to be helpful on the whole. I'm still rather amused with the way death told me, "I am not in the habit of informing you mortals how you might longer evade me." An outline of the subjective effects is here.

And how come this was stronger than I had bargained for? Well - I was a tad careless. The enamel pan I keep specially for brewing whole rue seeds had some amount of previously-brewed seeds left in it from weeks and weeks ago (I had at least taken care to ensure they were promptly and thoroughly dried out before their inadvertent storage). The seeds will have been simmered at least three times in half a cup of water each time so I thought very little of just throwing in a teaspoon measure's worth of fresh rue seeds - which usually amounts to about 3.5 grams - and brewing it all up four more times.

Now, what was my mistake? Perhaps I should have checked just how many doses of used seeds there were in the pan. And perhaps I should have given more consideration to the strength of the three and a half grams of raw rue seeds alone. After finishing off the tea and putting myself to bed things started getting very deep rather quickly. The harmalas, particularly harmaline, take me into the depths of reverie as a prolonged state of hypnogogia. It can seem very real, like lucid dreaming without having to go to sleep. And with this unexpected depth of reverie I had to ask myself just how much did I actually take. At least the used seeds were more than 50% dark roasted, which greatly diminishes their harmaline content. [Interestingly, perhaps, with the addition of fresh rue to the brew the plant spirit suggested that it would prefer not to be combined with the roasted seeds and that maybe I should consider what the thermolysis products of harmaline could be.]

Anyhow, despite having brewed up what turns out to have been something in excess of seventeen grams of rue, I could at least reassure myself that fourteen of those grams were not only three times already extracted but also dark roasted. I would estimate that it worked out more like a five gram rue brew with a bit more weight in the harmine direction. This level of harmaline seemed to be about the limit of what I'd be prepared to take. There was a lot of very focused breathing involved.

One further factor that I chose to disregard was the lateness of the hour at which I started brewing the tea. It meant that by the time I had finished drinking the brew it was already past three a.m. - and harmaline/harmine combo's can be decidedly stimulating while causing a level of physical incoordination that entails careful forethought regarding one's surroundings. (At one point I nearly stumbled over the toilet when going to urinate.) All told, I could have done with getting to sleep before 7 a.m. although I was fortunate in not having any pressing engagements the following morning. At least the rue spirit assured me that the effects would be as beneficial as the sleep that I was missing out on [Just think how the benefits would be if this was combined with a proper night's sleep!]

I cannot begin to imagine the mayhem that could have ensued had I taken this blasé approach with added DMT, my gratitude and relief after this relatively kindergarten-level psychological challenge was quite sufficient as it is. There's something to be said, too, for ROA's that don't involve burning hot objects at the time of administration along with fragile glass devices. Still, BassCat, thanks for sharing. Your humility in owning up to your mistake with a view to harm prevention is greatly appreciated.

Now you know!

Welcome to the Nexus.

 

[fink]

Sounds fun, with hindsight and the knowledge that you survived. My most intense experience to date is still one of the first times I smoked changa in a home made pipe. My dose was also over estimated. There was no way I could walk around though, my body melted and the realities on display broke me into tiny pieces. I still remember it fondly.