I condemned ayahuasca myself after the first time I did it. It was the most incredible experience of my life, yet I felt it had no meaning and therefore was a waste of my time. One or two months later, I believe that ayahuasca is incredibly beneficial for me every time I do it. It is not just an antidepressant or a "high" like marijuana that makes no sense. Instead, ayahuasca makes me appreciate life like never before due to making me think that I am dead for a few hours. It also makes me smarter, more creative, more curious, physically stronger, more interested in perfecting myself and world, and more optimistic about my chances of doing so. All of those are mostly temporary effects (48hrs), but they endure somewhat as well, and anyway, once you get the ball rolling with your optimism, it often just keeps going... for example you embark on a project or you begin making friends with someone, and even after the aya afterglow wears off, you are still in the middle of something of value that you would never have had the enthusiasm to begin if it weren't for the aya.
Before ayahuasca, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I thought maybe I should just work minimum wage jobs forever. Now I know exactly what I want. I want to be a neuroscientist and find out how to make a "brain-net." And yes, even after weeks of no ayahuasca, this idea still resonates with me.
The only downsides to aya that I've found are that I am slipping into a bit of benign magical thinking, and I cannot imagine having a girlfriend who doesn't do aya with me. Oh yeah and the other thing is that I am trying to get everyone to do it, which makes me feel like I will eventually be going to jail... although I always did think I'd end up in jail for my political views/actions, so this doesn't bother me so much.
How much is a minute quantity of spice? How many mgs? Was it smoked or pharma? Was it your first dose or was it during the comedown of a previous trip?
