DMT scared me (will never ever smoke it again)

[irony]

Hello, for long time i use DMT. i always smoke 50mg. My visions usually normal DMT shapes. Just now i tried 50mg DMT again then ididnt even understand its hit my head. Just my room changed like devil room color(pink and walls bubble shapes). Not normal DMT vision "my world really did change" Walls everything seemed to me visions (imagine broken GPU card when u play a game its gives so much colors). İ mean this world is visions, just illision! i just see world as fukin illision my world is almost gone. then i look my self my body swollen and changing like woman body. then i shocked. I thought i died! i really scared hell out of me... THEN I SAW SOMETHING LIKE MY BODY BUT ITS HEAD DEVIL HEAD then i rush to other room to see my brothers is seeing me or am i really died? still world is vision. When they react to see me i was fukin happy! so much happy! I WILL NEVER EVER SMOKE AGAIN DMT.

so i was atheist not anymore.

 

[n0thing]

Try a lower dose.

Who said 50mg is the gateway to insight and self-development? I found sub-breakthrough doses incredibly rewarding in the past, easier to come down and integrate too.

 

[entheogenic-gnosis]

granted the situation, if one is not terrified then one must be somewhat out of contact with the full dynamics of what is happening. -TM

One of the interesting characteristics of DMT is that it sometimes inspires fear - this marks the experience as existentially authentic. One of the interesting approaches to evaluating such a compound is to see how eager people are to do it a second time. A touch of terror gives the stamp of validity to the experience because it means, "This is real." We are in the balance. We read the literature, we know the maximum doses, the LD-50, and so on. But nevertheless, so great is one's faith in the mind that when one is out in it one comes to feel that the rules of pharmacology do not really apply and that control of existence on that plane is really a matter of focus of will and good luck.

I'm not saying that there's something intrinsically good about terror. I'm saying that, granted the situation, if one is not terrified then one must be somewhat out of contact with the full dynamics of what is happening. To not be terrified means either that one is a fool or that one has taken a compound that paralyzes the ability to be terrified. I have nothing against hedonism, and I certainly bring something out of it. But the experience must move one's heart, and it will not move the heart unless it deals with the issues of life and death. If it deals with life and death it will move one to fear, it will move one to tears, it will move one to laughter. These places are profoundly strange and alien. -terence McKenna

Being monkeys, when we encounter a translinguistic object, a kind of cognitive dissonance is set up in our hindbrain. We try to pour language over it and it sheds it like water off a duck's back. We try again and fail again, and this cognitive dissonance, this "wow" or "flutter" that is building off this object causes wonder, astonishment, and awe at the brink of terror.

...

This happened to me twenty seconds after I smoked DMT on a particular day in 1966. I was appalled. Until then I had thought that I had my ontological categories intact. I had taken LSD before, yet this thing came upon me like a bolt from the blue. I came down and said (and I said it many time), "I cannot believe this; this is impossible, this is completely impossible." There was a declension of gnosis that proved to me in a moment that right here and now, one quanta away, there is raging a universe of active intelligence that is transhuman, hyperdimensional, and extremely alien."
-terence McKenna

-eg