How has DMT impacted your desire for sex, frequency of having sex, feelings about sex, and attitude toward sex? Does anyone do anything with their sexual energy, practice celibacy, tantra... hang out with same-sex fans of Crowley and/or perform blood rituals to Lillith? 
I am aware that my perspective about sex has shifted greatly as a product of greater awareness. Allow me to try to explain...
I experienced frigidity once. What I am experiencing right now is definitely NOT frigidity. Frigidity was like a numbness and complete inability to connect with my own sexual energy, being divorced from my own life energy. Anyway, this is definitely something different.
Hardware and software. To borrow Robert Anton Wilson's analogy, the brain and biology is hardware, and thoughts, ideas, concepts (especially from the media), EXPERIENCES, are random bits of software collected by the brain. Programs and protocol. One side effect of exploring the DMT world is a reappraisal of this software, most of which operates indefinitely, unconsciously. Like all those random spyware apps your computer can pick up from browsing the wrong websites and you might not even know about. Software.
In sorting out my software--which, I daresay, is a healthy, and often painfully honest process--I have indifferently come to realize that most of my cognitive processes for dealing with sex were either not mine to begin with (unconsciously implanted by outside forces, [Disney]), or, unhealthy coping mechanisms (seeking fulfillment externally).
I get off doing yoga in the sun. I mean this in a sense of internal fulfillment (though it is interesting to note my other experiences, which have nothing to do with a state of subjectively feeling aroused). I get off playing my guitar, writing, riding my bike. Oh... Ayahuasca is quite the soulfuck, too. I was SO HAPPY to sit down and eat the perfect watermelon this afternoon. I am great.
My response to sex now is pretty much exactly like my response to the strangeness of the DMT world. Naked elves dancing, neurons firing, suns exploding, jesters laughing, insects and eyeballs. Or, perhaps, I experience death, physical disintegration, entity invasions. I observe, but I do not yearn; I observe, but I do not recoil in disgust. I feel, I acknowledge, I breathe: it doesn't consume me. I am not swallowed by wonder and I do not react, but I can choose to respond.
One can only split into the eighth dimension so many times, transcend physical boundaries, experience the conception of the universe, swim around in memories of living in utero, have a guided tour of the sex organs at a cellular level, or have an ethereal nude Latino man with a massive erection unexpectedly join a ceremony before it becomes painstakingly obvious that... SEX IS SOMETHING IMMENSELY STRANGE AND POWERFUL! Not to mention, completely irrational. It's how we all came into existence... Genesis!
Now, I focus on this and it might sound like it's a hangup. It's not. When one has had journeys numbering in the several hundreds, these topics do come up. I have dealt with much other graphic subject matter. I have endured detailed visions of the anus and excrement. Now, I digest efficiently, and shit with my entire being. Oh, and I always express what I am feeling (I used to be A Bottler), and I actually generate ZERO garbage in my weekly living routine (when I accidentally ripped my shower head out of the wall, that was a different story, but, speaking about the norm). I have had tours of the stomach, witnessed how certain foods react within my body, and know at the most minute level of myself that I can never poison my being with bad fuel. Blood, guts, neurochemical electricity, I have seen it all; and as I consciously assimilate these experiences, shocking and graphic as they might be for my rational, whitewashed, civilized mind, NEW BEHAVIORS resulting in GREATER HEALTH on MANY LEVELS is always the final product. The medicine has a curious way of teaching, using my body as an instrument of its lessons...
So, anyway, sex. I've had so many visionary confrontations with sexual energy. When guys do come on to me now, it is only in instances in which the trigger for the sexual motivation is completely unconscious. I see software being executed, I do not see people consciously aware of sexual energy (not to say they don't exist: they do: but would they still bother hitting on people as per social programming is concerned: and, would I feel a desire to mate?).
What was the McKenna quote, about not giving way to astonishment? Seems the same thing has happened to me IRL, when it comes to sexuality. Sex is connecting to The Origin--so, it's naturally astonishing, and that astonishment seemed to give way to erotic behaviors, at least in my case. But now that I have the experience of The Origin, plus a million other things, I feel a total respect and awe for the sex act, but it does not provoke a resonance within my body. I don't get *amorous feelings* in response to external stimuli. I do, however, have a very healthy relationship with my body, have been extremely physically active, have no problems giving or receiving love or non-erotic physical affection. I don't have a problem with erotic physical affection, like, fear or disgust; getting "felt up" just doesn't seem to flip the same set of switches in my brain.
I've even experimented with "alone time" with myself, and it's like... really, what the hell am I trying to accomplish? I'm not longing for anything... I SINCERELY get so much deeper into my body with yoga... Perhaps the whole idea of orgasm is shifting... Orgasms as I used to know them feel very JUVENILE, undeveloped, in comparison to the deep relationship I have with my body now.
Anyway. This may be a slightly disjointed ramble and I hope I explained myself correctly... I feel different, generally healthier and better, but I don't feel like there is any way I can do back to having the sex drive I used to, without slashing my diet, physical activity, entire lifestyle, and adding a heavy dose of delusion... I'm happy to explore and move forward, but what's forward from here?
(Maybe I should ask the medicine?)
I think it's also worth noting that I used to be terrified of strange insects and spiders, TERRIFIED. I feel no panic in the presence of these creatures. I catch the poor darlings and let them outside. Same stimulus: healthier, more compassionate, and realistic response.
I am aware that my perspective about sex has shifted greatly as a product of greater awareness. Allow me to try to explain...
I experienced frigidity once. What I am experiencing right now is definitely NOT frigidity. Frigidity was like a numbness and complete inability to connect with my own sexual energy, being divorced from my own life energy. Anyway, this is definitely something different.
Hardware and software. To borrow Robert Anton Wilson's analogy, the brain and biology is hardware, and thoughts, ideas, concepts (especially from the media), EXPERIENCES, are random bits of software collected by the brain. Programs and protocol. One side effect of exploring the DMT world is a reappraisal of this software, most of which operates indefinitely, unconsciously. Like all those random spyware apps your computer can pick up from browsing the wrong websites and you might not even know about. Software.
In sorting out my software--which, I daresay, is a healthy, and often painfully honest process--I have indifferently come to realize that most of my cognitive processes for dealing with sex were either not mine to begin with (unconsciously implanted by outside forces, [Disney]), or, unhealthy coping mechanisms (seeking fulfillment externally).
I get off doing yoga in the sun. I mean this in a sense of internal fulfillment (though it is interesting to note my other experiences, which have nothing to do with a state of subjectively feeling aroused). I get off playing my guitar, writing, riding my bike. Oh... Ayahuasca is quite the soulfuck, too. I was SO HAPPY to sit down and eat the perfect watermelon this afternoon. I am great.
My response to sex now is pretty much exactly like my response to the strangeness of the DMT world. Naked elves dancing, neurons firing, suns exploding, jesters laughing, insects and eyeballs. Or, perhaps, I experience death, physical disintegration, entity invasions. I observe, but I do not yearn; I observe, but I do not recoil in disgust. I feel, I acknowledge, I breathe: it doesn't consume me. I am not swallowed by wonder and I do not react, but I can choose to respond.
One can only split into the eighth dimension so many times, transcend physical boundaries, experience the conception of the universe, swim around in memories of living in utero, have a guided tour of the sex organs at a cellular level, or have an ethereal nude Latino man with a massive erection unexpectedly join a ceremony before it becomes painstakingly obvious that... SEX IS SOMETHING IMMENSELY STRANGE AND POWERFUL! Not to mention, completely irrational. It's how we all came into existence... Genesis!
Now, I focus on this and it might sound like it's a hangup. It's not. When one has had journeys numbering in the several hundreds, these topics do come up. I have dealt with much other graphic subject matter. I have endured detailed visions of the anus and excrement. Now, I digest efficiently, and shit with my entire being. Oh, and I always express what I am feeling (I used to be A Bottler), and I actually generate ZERO garbage in my weekly living routine (when I accidentally ripped my shower head out of the wall, that was a different story, but, speaking about the norm). I have had tours of the stomach, witnessed how certain foods react within my body, and know at the most minute level of myself that I can never poison my being with bad fuel. Blood, guts, neurochemical electricity, I have seen it all; and as I consciously assimilate these experiences, shocking and graphic as they might be for my rational, whitewashed, civilized mind, NEW BEHAVIORS resulting in GREATER HEALTH on MANY LEVELS is always the final product. The medicine has a curious way of teaching, using my body as an instrument of its lessons...
So, anyway, sex. I've had so many visionary confrontations with sexual energy. When guys do come on to me now, it is only in instances in which the trigger for the sexual motivation is completely unconscious. I see software being executed, I do not see people consciously aware of sexual energy (not to say they don't exist: they do: but would they still bother hitting on people as per social programming is concerned: and, would I feel a desire to mate?).
What was the McKenna quote, about not giving way to astonishment? Seems the same thing has happened to me IRL, when it comes to sexuality. Sex is connecting to The Origin--so, it's naturally astonishing, and that astonishment seemed to give way to erotic behaviors, at least in my case. But now that I have the experience of The Origin, plus a million other things, I feel a total respect and awe for the sex act, but it does not provoke a resonance within my body. I don't get *amorous feelings* in response to external stimuli. I do, however, have a very healthy relationship with my body, have been extremely physically active, have no problems giving or receiving love or non-erotic physical affection. I don't have a problem with erotic physical affection, like, fear or disgust; getting "felt up" just doesn't seem to flip the same set of switches in my brain.
I've even experimented with "alone time" with myself, and it's like... really, what the hell am I trying to accomplish? I'm not longing for anything... I SINCERELY get so much deeper into my body with yoga... Perhaps the whole idea of orgasm is shifting... Orgasms as I used to know them feel very JUVENILE, undeveloped, in comparison to the deep relationship I have with my body now.
Anyway. This may be a slightly disjointed ramble and I hope I explained myself correctly... I feel different, generally healthier and better, but I don't feel like there is any way I can do back to having the sex drive I used to, without slashing my diet, physical activity, entire lifestyle, and adding a heavy dose of delusion... I'm happy to explore and move forward, but what's forward from here?
(Maybe I should ask the medicine?)
I think it's also worth noting that I used to be terrified of strange insects and spiders, TERRIFIED. I feel no panic in the presence of these creatures. I catch the poor darlings and let them outside. Same stimulus: healthier, more compassionate, and realistic response.
