joedirt said:
Hyperspace Fool said:
The ego has a valid and useful purpose. That is why we created them for ourselves.
I'd love to hear about this process of ego creation you have engaged in.
This would almost seem to imply that you birthed yourself...
If you birthed yourself then you must have insight into this zen koan.
What was your consciousness before your were born...
Peace
I engage in both the typical piecemeal constant ego mask maintenance and fabrication that everyone else is doing (only far more deliberately and consciously) AND a much more comprehensive type which I will describe briefly.
Many people might recognize this sort of ego manufacture from their ego-death experiences, though in the cases of entheogen inspired ego-death, this can be a gradual and not-altogether conscious process, as you slowly rebuild your sense of self from the cosmic all... often by rote and according to your old blueprints.
Shaman and mystics tend to drive their own bus in this, and realize that they can wear whatever masks (personas) they choose to, and become creative in the "self" they construct.
For me, my most frequent experience of this is in the related topic of Lucid Dreaming and Dreamwork in general. I have had
more than my fair share of entheogen fueled ego dissolution, and have managed the feat sober via meditation and energy work... but I Lucid Dream every night... and
time can be ridiculously dilated in dream.
In dreaming, we tend to invent related but slightly altered egos for ourselves based on the dream we are manifesting. You might find that you even look different in some dreams... you might have another name... usually you are involved in situations, activities and scenarios that are not identical to your current "real life" dramas. Many people won't notice this due to the "amnesiac return" that happens when you cross between dream worlds. Most people remember almost nothing of their oneironautic activities. Even I, when I remember 10 dreams in the morning, know I am only recalling a small fraction of what really took place. The fact is that you could live out entire lifetimes in your dreams... and often do.
The thing about being an experienced dreamer is that you can maintain consciousness in the transition between dream worlds. You can go directly from waking to lucid dreaming without falling asleep (i.e. WILDing Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming) and you can choose to leave a dream and go to any of an infinite number of other dreams as you see fit.
This gives a conscious dreamer many opportunities to manufacture egos... as well as dream worlds. You can play any role you want. Most frequently I tend to white out... and in a situation reminiscent of the first Matrix film... reconstruct reality from nothing. It is in the transition from manifestation to inhabiting the dream that you assume your new identity. You become the lead role in the film you were designing. New memories flood in, and if you are not
rather careful to maintain your lucidity... the knowledge, memories and info you had that don't match the new ID will be lost--temporarily--and you will believe the dream to be real.
The interesting thing about ego creation that often gets overlooked... is that you
don't have to be egoless to do it. Naturally, it is almost assured that you will manufacture an ego for yourself if you come down from egolessness... but there is no requirement that you take off one mask to make another... or to modify the one you are wearing.
In dreaming I tend to have a basic über ego... something between my waking ego and my superconscious highest self. It is from this state that ego creation is generally enacted. This is mostly because when you are truly egoless, you have no desire. Without desire, curiosity, or even interest... there is no impetus for creative ego manufacture. Another reason why most people tend to return from ego-death as the same old ego that they were before... with an afterglow of enlightenment perhaps.
I guess I have rambled on long enough... but to answer your koan:
Time is an illusion. Therefore there is no single thing or state of being that can be considered before. I am thus the totality of all time and space... having played infinite roles and observed this multi-dimensional thing we are from every possible angle. I am the watcher of the watcher of the watcher... and even that is just one of my masks.