Does it remember me?

[Japansage]

Thought id give another trip report a bash, again this is pasted from a personal journal of mine so apologies for the longform.

I like to tell myself that I took about a month off because of the world cup, and that I didn’t believe drinking beer/watching football went hand in hand with the search for spiritual enlightenment. That story held for a couple weeks, I then arranged with a friend a date to travel together, to help indoctrinate her into the drug. Its something she’d always been massively interested in, and I was glad to be the sitter for her. As that day approached, some apprehension began to build and I realised that it wasn’t just the world cup that had kept me away. It was a general fear, fear i’d maybe held onto since my last deep journey. Not a fear of malevolence, but a fear that if I keep taking this, I really do feel it will change the core of my being. Really change me as a person, and that was/is a scary thought. I dusted off these apprehensive thoughts and got back into my usual mode for pre-flight – cleaning my entire house, eating healthy on the lead up to it, and fasting for about 6-10 hours on the day.

We decided she go first, and learning from some of my mistakes last time I made sure the ash was clean and lowered the dosage significantly. I racked 0.35mg into a glass bong this time with ash and let my friend blast off.

( i've cut a section here but i would encourage/love you to read her first ever trip report here : My introduction to Everything with a Hyperspace orgasm! - First steps in Hyperspace - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus and give some feedback!)

So she ended up having a really positive, life-changing, and beautiful experience, my psychedelic mind was aroused again and I decided to take my my hit. Same dosage, 0.35 with clean ash. Took it in one hit, and I dont really think or remember the bong getting super milky- but after the last journey, I’m now ok with the idea of under-dosing so I just ripped it anyway. Sat back and held it in for as long as I could, I think i started to hear the carrier wave, but I cant really be sure – what I think most odd about this journey, is that I didnt actually see anything. I dont think i viewed anything with my eyes, I definitely experienced a lot, but it was all through feeling, and not sight.

So the experience goes like this, I feel my body completely disintegrating, it’s becoming sand. I don’t know why sand, but Sand is definitely something I took from this trip, so there is sand all around. Everything is sand. My body, from the bottom up is slowly becoming and merging into this sand. This is all happening through a feeling. As im merging with it, I realise that the sand is Sentient. It can communicate with me now that part of me is merging into it slowly. It welcomes me, it welcomes me back. Thats scary to me, even at the time, i remember being freaked out that I was being welcomed back. It knew who I was, I could feel it knew me from before. The next bit, which I found even scarier, is that it showed me that it knew i had been away for a month. I felt it knew the time scale, and it was really jovial, cheeky about it almost, as my body disintegrated and I started to become everything- at that point the sand was almost asking “you’ve not felt this in a month have you?” with a childs playfulness.

So everythings becoming sand, and i feel that im near 99.999% of becoming everything, and I (for whatever reason) shite it again and pull the plug on it. Im not panicking in the same manner as last time, I just for whatever reason decide nope, make an effort of not succumbing to the last of it and begin to struggle out. Its almost like i pull up a rope out of the sand and the top of that rope is my beanbag of the living room. Very soon im back, lucid, eyes open. I make a few statements to the sitter that I dont remember saying (we’re writing them down now) and shrug off the after effects with heavy breathing, groaning, and eventually my usual pacing around the room.

The statements were “They Remembered me” / “From last month” / “It remembers me. It knows who I am”

Time in trance state: 30secs-1min
Time in after effects: 2mins

So I suppose my question is, does hyperspace really remember me? Has anyone else had any experiences in which they feel welcomed back? Is it really that strange that I feel it knew the exact period I had abstained for?

Id love to hear some banter/stories of similar feelings.

 

[Poads]

I think you mean 35mg. 0.35mg would be... well not very much!

And yeah I think some of the entities I've encountered have often remembered me on subsequent visits.

It's been awhile since I've smoked/vaped freebase DMT from MHRB but I regularly met this machine elf who could transform himself and teleport at will. The elf would take me to this laboratory with a giant black machine that was said to be the machine that could create life itself. That elf seemed to like me quite a bit, and the elf would have a massive grin when I came around. It would telepathically communicate with me, "Hey, you made it... good job!". The elf seemed to remember me whenever I came back. Those trips were always very good. It's too bad that I haven't encountered that elf since. Maybe if I tried smoking/vaping DMT I would see the elf again. Maybe someday it will happen. Honestly, meeting that elf has probably been one of the best things that has happened to me on DMT.

But recently I've gotten more into pharma. The first time I smoked freebase DMT while on pharma (ACRB) I ended up having a pretty overwhelming trip... one of my infamous instances of me getting my ass kicked. I met this entity who plagued me on the trip, and then later plagued me on my pharma trip about 3 weeks ago (MHRB). It's somewhat of a simple happy face looking thing. It kind of looks like this mask, except for the nose, and it could take many different colors.

http://storycoven.com/Assets/Graphics/happy_mask.gif

I don't like this entity very much. It beat me in a Pokémon battle (long story... I think the post is on here somewhere), and it always seemed to give off this "I'm superior" type of vibe. It would laugh and smile as I suffered. Just keeping that constant smile. It seemed to judge me constantly. This entity meant that I had gone too far, and it was time for me to pay the price. The entity remembered me when I took pharma 3 weeks ago. It didn't directly communicate with me persay, but it just fed me a message like "yup, I'm here to kick your ass again". And that face... it's just like "oh I'm so happy you came so I can mess with you some more". I'm wondering if I could conquer this entity at a lower dose... but then I probably wouldn't trip hard enough to see it. Either way, that entity wasn't very much fun.

So yeah, I definitely think the entities of hyperspace can remember you. It will be interesting to hear what other members, perhaps those with more experience than me, will have to say.

 

[Ouroboros777]

POADS your description reminds me of a Phanto from SMB II you didn't try to take any keys in their lair did ya?

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

The first time I broke through, I was greeted by something that seemed to remember me. I'm no doctor, or psychologist, so I cannot begin to decifer this feeling or experience
It was something.

Maybe, it was myself remembering who I had once been. Not nessecarily in a past life, but this one. A rejuvination of the self in the present. Remembering, the concept that embodied the physical self. It struck resonance. It was like being given a second chance, but for the first time, again.

Since then, I've visited other entities. And they've visited me. It's been "bad" and "good."

I stand, humbled and greatful to be standing. I also look forward to returning to those places upon death(hopefully).

I look forward to the rebirth process- where, or whenever that may be. And, the daily birth - that happens all around us.

 

[Poads]

POADS your description reminds me of a Phanto from SMB II you didn't try to take any keys in their lair did ya?

Haha, I'm remember those from the Mario games I played as a kid. I didn't know they were called Phantos. But no, I never took any keys (as far as I can remember) and it never chased me like Phantos. Also Phantos look angrier than this entity.

 

[Global]

First of all I've had the sand experience at least once as well where my whole body felt like sand and all of the imagery was rather sandy as well. Secondly, I would venture to say that they do "remember" you, though I wouldn't know what they do in the interim between your last seeing them and smoking DMT anew. My relationship with hyperspace has been an ongoing one in which their is a development of the kinds of interactions I have with entities. They seem to be able to access data in the same way a computer can retrieve it, so maybe it's as easy as "double-clicking a file" for them to read not only your past experiences in hyperspace, but your past as a whole.

 

[Al-Wasi]

Speaking of feeling like sand brings up memories of a past experience that was way more intense then I thought it'd be since the dose was half that of prior doses. It was my first meeting with a insane entity that seemed to just want to mess with me. My whole awareness turned into spring boing sounds. I quickly wanted it to end and when I came back my body felt like it wasn't here anymore. Not really sand like but made of millions of little lives that were dissolving into the universe. I had to squeeze my hands and they felt numb and like they weren't mine or were disappearing. It was a very odd experience and though I didn't breakthrough for some reason I expected d to just lose contact with this reality and although it didn't happen it was scary as hell.

 

[Japansage]

First of all I've had the sand experience at least once as well where my whole body felt like sand and all of the imagery was rather sandy as well. Secondly, I would venture to say that they do "remember" you, though I wouldn't know what they do in the interim between your last seeing them and smoking DMT anew. My relationship with hyperspace has been an ongoing one in which their is a development of the kinds of interactions I have with entities. They seem to be able to access data in the same way a computer can retrieve it, so maybe it's as easy as "double-clicking a file" for them to read not only your past experiences in hyperspace, but your past as a whole.

very interesting idea man, like as soon as you arrive they are able to access the data instantaneously. This would help explain it for me better and stop me from thinking too much about whats going on in the interim...