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Ego death definitions.

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Fernape

Rising Star
I have a hard time understanding ego death quite exactly. I feel like I've felt it before, due to a particularly moving experience involving me losing my mind? I remember feeling like I had lost my body, my consciousness, and I didn't know who I was. I was having closed eye visuals I think, I can't quite remember, but I knew I wasn't seeing any physical object, I was seeing an odd fractal pattern that I believed was looking into the universe of some sort. As a result, I thought I had fucked things up and that my life spirit was stuck without a body. I wasn't sad, just worried I had screwed things up. This is kind of what I associate with ego death, however, having seen other people talk about their experiences with it, they are often in despair. While I did not feel despair until AFTERWARDS, due to feeling I had created an alternate universe simply so that my conscious mind had a body for itself and that it was all fake, was it still ego death?

So basically, I need help understanding ego death, I feel close to it, but I just don't have it.
 
It was ego death in my opinion ( havin been the one looking after you for this ridiculous experience and having loved learning from it) when you reset to your basic core of understanding. It might have happened and faded in and out a few times.
 
To me, ego death is... Your being is like an onion, and tripping helps peel back the layers; even the core has layers. Once they are all peeled, your being is gone and all that remains is Being. This Being can look at the pile of these layers and analyze them as something beyond Itself, something separate. They have your past, decisions, actions, and preferences. Often the pile seems small. Sometimes, this Being will look away from the pile and transcend to Experience. I find the Being to be the closest to absolute Objectivity there is, with the pile being your set of subjectivity.

Ego death is when you shed all shells and proceed to shed the core.

Ego death has, for example, allowed me to try food I have previously been repulsed by. Sometimes I am pleased by the things Objectivity has allowed me to consider, other times I find my subjectivity is a part of my nature - those layers I keep.

"What do you despise? By this you are truly known."
-Dune
 
When I experienced ego death, I felt like I had folded into my self infinite times and I was unable to move due to lack of body.

You'll know when it happens. I usually get a feeling like I'm going to die.
 
For me, ego loss is not knowing who you are, what you are. And realizing, it doesn't even matter. Every aspect of your self and your ego is stripped away until you are only your consciousness. Its beautiful! A feeling of being one with the universe, not sitting on a chair but with it, as it. Not seeing visuals but being visuals.

Very cool!!
 
qualia1 said:
For me, ego loss is not knowing who you are, what you are. And realizing, it doesn't even matter. Every aspect of your self and your ego is stripped away until you are only your consciousness. Its beautiful! A feeling of being one with the universe, not sitting on a chair but with it, as it. Not seeing visuals but being visuals.

Very cool!!
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I have to say, this is the kind of ego death I feel is most true for me. I had forgotten who I was, what I was, and thought I was a spirit or a consciousness just floating around in the universe, within it, seeing the colors of the universe in a way I can't even imagine anymore. When I came back, though, I mourned the loss of that state, wanted to go back to it. A very confusing time for me indeed. Thanks for the posts!
 
Fernape, you posted in my thread on hbws right? This is the ego death described from the seeds on my first journey with hbws.
Good luck!
 
Ego death is very hard to define and everyones idea/experience of it is different.. I like the onion analogy Z!.. You can define it however you want but whats more important is I think your reaction to it. It can get scary and hellish the more you resist it and more enlightening the more you let go of all the conceptions you hold. A friend of mine had it on shrooms his first time not too long ago and was freaking out because he thought he died. The other friend had the same thing and went with it, i guess boundaries dissolved and BOOM he had one of those "we're one with the universe" epiphanies.
 
qualia1 said:
Fernape, you posted in my thread on hbws right? This is the ego death described from the seeds on my first journey with hbws.
Good luck!
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Yeah, I was. That's really interesting to think about, seeing has how I know the possibilities of hbws, but haven't experienced it yet. I'm eager to use the required triggers to explore ego death even more, for sure though. I'm glad everyone is so helpful.
 
ismokecrystals said:
When I experienced ego death, I felt like I had folded into my self infinite times and I was unable to move due to lack of body.

You'll know when it happens. I usually get a feeling like I'm going to die.
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I get the feeling I'm going to die when I'm struggling against it which to me isn't ego death. That's the ego fighting to try remain audible. However if I stop fighting this sensation, ego follows shortly afterwards.
 
soulfood said:
ismokecrystals said:
When I experienced ego death, I felt like I had folded into my self infinite times and I was unable to move due to lack of body.

You'll know when it happens. I usually get a feeling like I'm going to die.
Click to expand...

I get the feeling I'm going to die when I'm struggling against it which to me isn't ego death. That's the ego fighting to try remain audible. However if I stop fighting this sensation, ego follows shortly afterwards.
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Yup. Just remembered a great video where ram dass (richard alpert) explains his experience of this at the end check it out
 
For me too, ego death is feeling and understanding that you are energy and part of the great "one".. While inside an ego death experience you lose your "body" and "senses" and become (like soulfood said) just an observer.. Just an other one of the endless energy particles.. I think it's the most beautiful thing I have ever felt..
Magic :)
 
ThatsALotOfNuts said:
(like soulfood said) just an observer.. Just an other one of the endless energy particles.. I think it's the most beautiful thing I have ever felt..
Magic :)
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thats what it is in my opinion. Pure unadulterated experience.

You accept that this is how it is, was and always will be. I need to go real deep soon, I've been putting it off for a number of reasons, mostly pre flight jitters and just not feeling like its the right moment.
 
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