Establishing relationship

[Infectedstyle]

I am feeling. Weird feelings. I am in need of guidance and stability. DMT has struck a chord in me that can't be unstruck. Last week i have felt a yearning to "return home". I am not understanding of what is going on when you smoke DMT. I am now having questions. Big questions, that i feel might never be answered. Giving me feelings of dispair. But only slightly. Mixed with hope.

I aspire to be like the entities met on DMT. I feel like i have made an ally last night. A female entity. I believe it told me that it embodies "DMT". Or that i can connect to it through DMT. She did her best to gain my trust by sending waves of compassion. Reassuring me that it's okay. Unbothered by my demanding of revealing her true identity. She offered a hyperspatial handshake to me. I complied. My body urged to make a physical handshake with both my hands. With my eyes closed i raised my hands towards the heavens and intuitively dropped them down to my chin. Naturally holding a position of prayer. She told me that if i needed to contact her, it is through prayer, endogenous DMT will be released and she will be there to guide me when the going gets rough.

She also seemed kind of impressed that i was able to reveal parts of her true identity by myself. I believe she has been with me on salvia journeys and mushroom trips. But she is n'either of the above. I named her "The reality moving jester" or "Systemizer of reality" . Something to that extent. She did not deny. But did not comply either.

I want to write down all my experiences from beginning to end in full detail of how i remember them in order to make sense of it all. But i also feel it might be a waste of energy. And written word takes away from the magic. I can never fully bring back the entire experience anyway. However, maybe in the near future. Or today.. i will write it down. In order to map hyperspace with you guys. Which is an aspiration i think can be realized with proper effort.


Now my biggest fear is being influenced by other people's opinion of what is going on. And accepthing them for truth. Which will say that i am addicted to DMT and that i am very much insane!

Making this post is like therapy. I feel much more grounded than 15 minutes ago. Thank you for your presence in this forum. And thanks traveler and everyone who makes this place possible. I wouldn't be the same without you.

 

[Global]

I'm on the same page as you. I've compiled my experiences too. I wish to create an abstraction (map) of my hyperspatial destinations as well.

 

[Guyomech]

I would definitely urge you to write about it uin as much detail as possible. Whether it is a mapping of hyperspace, of your self, or both; it's worthwhile.

It's very common for the entities to be elusive about straight answers to questions. You'll find that in a lot of reports... So don't feel bad. She may have said as much as the limitations of your common interface allowed for.

This is an unrelated story but may shed some light. I was once victim of a con artist who was using my name to defraud people by pretending that he was me, had been arrested and needed bail money. A number of people had fallen for it before I got wind of what was going on and started dealing with it. At one point I was talking on the phone with American Express employee, trying to get information about where/when funds had been wired to him, etc. She wanted to help but couldn't give straight answers because of the company's privacy policies. So I had to figure out (with her help) what kind of questions to ask, and how. Some answers came in the form of silence: "if I'm right about my next guess about the town, then say nothing". By these odd means she told me everything I needed to know.

 

[○]

The experience is so ambiguous, that I tend to just sit back, go with 'the flow' and give in as quickly as possible. Entities, they're like little eddies that come and go through the vast river of hyperspace. I don't put too much emphasis on them. I try to passively take what I can through the various entity contacts and symbology that presents itself. Things in the experience tend to reverberate with double, triple and quadruple meaning, so I always take what I can and move forward.

Of course, there are underlying threads through each and every dmt experience, and those threads are what I take to heart for the most part.

The experience can lead you to believe particular things for a period of time, then one day all-of-a-sudden dump it all on your head, and before you know it, your traveling in the opposite direction away from what you had previously conceived into a whole nother direction.

Sit back, give in, and injoy.

Tat Tvam Asi

tat

 

[Infectedstyle]

When i closed my eyes after loading the pipe for a second time, i was kind of falling through the entity. It's face being 180 degree of my visual field. I forgot to make a 360 rotation to get a better view. Fractals of the face where functioning as the environment i'm falling through.

It had utmost attention for me and communicates quite clearly. Imparting understanding directly to my consciousness that she's about to show me something, when on the right side of my "presence" at first i feel another presence. In my visual field i see an enormous spatial amount of a dark hellish environment. Also to my right. I choose not to look at it. Perhaps my ego pervasively "remembered" a piece islamic religious text saying "When you pass through the _____ do not look to your right. But go straight to God?"

Surely, my ego was wrong. Because i was eventually forced to look at the darkness. But my visual was covered in pieces of transparant membranes fogging my view. As if to get me used to the darkness. Certain intelligent empathy for my state of mind seems to be expressed by whatever is steering my experience at that point.

The whole entity thing is the most peculiar thing i've ever witnessed. At first i was travelling through mundane human things. Hyperspatial kitchens, rooms with doors and a chouch. But as soon as i established contact with this woman thing. Everything changed. Looking at her direction, she is the one in control of my experience at that point. And for some reason, she wants to show me this darkness. It's part of her agenda. Not mine. Obviously not. I said, bring me to a white light instead of this darkness. And it almost happened. A rip formed between this womanly entity on my left and the hellish mouth of this "beast" to my right. And bright light showed itself through this rip as if a window opened and the sun is shining through it, filling some of the space with warmth. it did nothing however, to change the other parts of the scene. And the two entities remained unchanged.

No idea how, but from there it transitioned to being shown the darkness through a veil. Like cobwebs, blocking and fogging up my view. I felt no fear. Which i definitely did at first sight of this atrocious beast. And it dawned on me that despite my efforts to escape this confrontation i was still forced to do it.

What i'm really getting at tho is, and here comes the important part.

The experience takes on a significant change when this entity is near. When i came down from the DMT and my hallucinations stopped i still experienced a type of presence. While i was getting ready to sleep and thought of giving it a shot to try and initiate an OBE. A little voice told me to smoke some leftover DMT. When it hit me the room took on a conscious attitude and stared at me, kind of amused. I remember something Mckenna said about this, he said "I come to a place, where i know. The elves are near. And i have to invoke the elves before they come". Something to that extent.

I closed my eyes and the entity was guiding me on how to achieve an OBE. I could see my body and a brownish entity surrounding me. Imparting commands, telling me to stretch all my muscles and get comfortable. It told me i need to internally vibrate an organ near my throat chakra. The entity got kind of impatient with me because i kept physically vibrating my vocal cords.

What struck me the most is that normally when the DMT hits me with eyes open i see my room with heightened awareness. As if the DMT strengthens my senses. But only when forces outside of myself interfere does the room itself take on a conscious attitude. And i've noticed a significant difference in experience when this starts to happen. Without the entity, i am pretty much alone and don't experience much of interest. Even on massive doses of DMT.

Now, if anyone experiences the same kind of entity communication with this female presence. Let me know. I am currently thinking of a method to determine with absolute certainty that we are dealing with the same entity. Note, i am not entirely sure it is exactly female. Or if we can even give it a gender. Perhaps it just appears to us as female because it comforts us to have a motherly presence. After all, my room is definitely NOT female. I hope someone can help me identify this entity because i'm tired of typing "entity this, entity that" i'd rather give it a name already.



I have to stop writing now, but i enjoyed recalling my experiences. It just seemed kind of pointless to write them down only for myself. But writing this made me realize how much i have forgotten big chunks of my experience. Writing them down immediatly must aid in the process of rationally analyzing my experiences.

And thanks for the replies guys, the sharing of wisdom and aspirations always fares well with me.

 

[Global]

I've been to the "mundane human" parts of hyperspace numerous times. I've also experienced an entity with a motherly loving presence, but unfortunately only on a handful of occasions. Not as often as for you. "She" is quite fond of heart-tickling purples. Quite the high frequency entity.

 

[Infectedstyle]

Do you want to meet her more often? I can ask if she can give you a visit. Or bring me to you. I'm interested in entering your mindspace. Perhaps i can take a peek at your personal dreamspace. If that's okay with you ofcourse..

I remember falling through fractals of her face. She was brilliant light-blue coloured and was wearing some kind of crown. Or perhaps her curly hair resembled this crown.

Her face was a "carved in stone style" face, with bright hyperspatial colours ofcourse. Kind of resembling one of the faces in this alex grey painting Here.

The purple entities i've met did not share these qualities with her. They looked like they could exsist in this universe/dimension. Except for maybe the elf. But i did not get a good look at him anyway.

Can you clarify on why you say she is quite fond of heart-tickling purples? I am curious as to how your experience verifies this.

Hope i don't seem too obsessive. The experience is kind of fading now. I'm going to have to explore further when the time is right.