Fear Killed my Honeymoon Period with DMT

[NomadicPerspective]

I was having the best time exploring DMT for about a month. I was doing 4-5 sessions a week and the substance continually blew me away with different perspectives and fascinating experiences. I got to a point where I had two breakthroughs in the matter of a few days and could feel the DMT calling me for a third breakthrough, but done in the middle of the night. But I couldn't do it. I was overwhelmed with fear during the night and couldn't take the breakthrough hit. I gave in to the fear and felt awful. I felt fear all over my body and have been depressed ever since. It wasn't even a bad trip. I feel like a bad trip would have been much better than me giving in to fear like this and now I feel so weak.

Is fear useful or a hindrance? I feel like, on the one hand, DMT was teaching me to be fearless and trust the universe. But on the other hand, this fearlessness goes against many practical interests, and could potentially be dangerous, like leaving your door open when you leave the house or not having security on your PC. But I also felt like fear keeps us held back from many experiences and opportunities for growth.

 

[Sadalsuud]

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Frank Herbert

Take my words with a big grain of salt, as I have no experience with DMT. However, I have been subject to fears from psychedelics. What you choose to do is what you must ride out. I could be completely wrong, but it sounds like you needed to take a break, man. Whether the DMT was telling, or you were telling yourself: slow down for a while.
There is no need to rush into epiphany after revelation; it is all there to be had when the time permits.

I suggest you take time to integrate your experiences up to and including this one.

I am new to this forum, but surely such a space wouldn't be here if it didn't have caring, understanding, and knowledgeable people to keep it alive

Im happy to see you've reached out for insight in light of an apparent trouble. I hope someone with this experience with DMT fear reaches out to you soon ❤

 

[NomadicPerspective]

Thanks a lot. That quote is helpful and I definitely agree that I was probably overdue for a break to integrate. I think I will take a break until Spring from psychedelics.

 

[Sadalsuud]

There will always be support here, if you ever need to talk.

I'd be interested to hear your trip reports for all those blastoffs! Hahah

The fear from these things is potent, and I'm sure most people in this group have faced it. So don't feel like you're alone there..

Am I reading your post right?: you've never tripped at night? On anything?

 

[Jees]

I was having the best time exploring DMT for about a month. I was doing 4-5 sessions a week and the substance continually blew me away with different perspectives and fascinating experiences. I got to a point where I had two breakthroughs in the matter of a few days and could feel the DMT calling me for a third breakthrough, but done in the middle of the night. But I couldn't do it. I was overwhelmed with fear during the night and couldn't take the breakthrough hit. I gave in to the fear and felt awful. I felt fear all over my body and have been depressed ever since. It wasn't even a bad trip. I feel like a bad trip would have been much better than me giving in to fear like this and now I feel so weak.

Is fear useful or a hindrance? I feel like, on the one hand, DMT was teaching me to be fearless and trust the universe. But on the other hand, this fearlessness goes against many practical interests, and could potentially be dangerous, like leaving your door open when you leave the house or not having security on your PC. But I also felt like fear keeps us held back from many experiences and opportunities for growth.

There is this collective of fear related threads, it helps feeling understood:
PREFLIGHT ANXIETY & RAW FEAR
I hope you don't mind adding your honest testimony to the list?

What might help is cannabis in advance but that is an individual thing.
Harmalas can also take out an edge.
Don't feel obliged to vape plain freebase, there is changa and pharmahuasca too.
When I opt for a vape then I'm sure to agree with meeting fear face on and to be consumed by it. This is certainly not for every regular day the occasion for sure, just when I'm in full warrior modus.
:twisted:
Mind that people do take (longer) breaks for digesting experiences, or call that integration periods. Some vape like once a year, or even a decade, waiting for the call. I find pharmahuasca free of having initial fears.

 

[NomadicPerspective]

Am I reading your post right?: you've never tripped at night? On anything?

I tripped on shrooms once at night and didn't have a very good time. It was early on and I was not that experienced though. I wake up usually between 3-4 am and go to sleep around 8. I work in the mornings and when I do DMT I do it midday or towards sundown, but not in the middle of the night. Maybe it is a fear I will have to face someday.

What might help is cannabis in advance but that is an individual thing.
Harmalas can also take out an edge.
Don't feel obliged to vape plain freebase, there is changa and pharmahuasca too.

Part of my initiation into dmt involved giving up cannabis because I thought it was time to quit. I have been meaning to look into Changa. I am still new to this substance, although I have now tripped 50-60 times with a dozen or so strong breakthroughs and 2 full ego death experiences (the two that preceded this fearful night of mine). But all this happened very quickly and I have not had a lot of time to process it all.

 

[Sadalsuud]

Ah, day trips and night trips are two very different beasts, regardless of what you're taking. Each has its ups and downs, but generally for me anyway, night trips bring much more introspection