Edward the Jack
Rising Star
Disclaimer: I'm going to be honest in this post and tell it how I think it.
22M
So yesterday I tried DMT for the first time.
My day had been pretty normal, maybe slightly on the negative side when summing it all up. In life i'm doing very well compared to a couple of years ago. I consider myself mentally strong, however also very aware. What I mean by aware is that I see what's going on in "the world" and always see the solutions. However, i'm very hesitant/scared of actually joining the world as I don't agree with the systems put in place to help. That, and I realize how little I can actually do, and if/when I do I know I won't feel any different. I realize it's all about the journey, about acceptance. I have gotten quite experienced with LSD which has helped me put a lot of things into words, but has failed in showing me a way. I feel like I either have to work hard to show everyone this truth I know, this vision, or run away from it all.
So I do DMT yesterday, 2 times. First time I get 2 huge tokes in, but on the second I get such powerful visuals that I am almost blinded (not painful) and let go of the toke way to quickly. The next thing I know I loose myself to the anxiety in me. The thoughts I normally control are taken over and I show myself how stupid I am for what I am doing. Thoughts like "you are not breathing" and then i gasp for breath, then "you have to puke" then I turn my head. The next thing I know is this other voice saying: "it's going to pass very soon" and after that I regain control. I smile, and suddenly everything is normal again, and I enjoy the afterglow. Even though, I am a bit disappointed as it had only been about 6 mins (until I could control my body again).
2 hours later I do it again, with 10mg more spice. Obviously a bit more scared then before the first time. So I decide to meditate (breathing exercises/clearing my mind) until I feel totally prepared.
This second experience was totally different. I took a small toke first, held it in, then really sucked in the second, so much so that I cleared the pipe which I realized by feeling some ashes in my mouth. I looked down at the pipe and "i'm back" (Sitting up in bed) I hear the voice again, even though it's not a voice just a feeling, a state, u guys understand. BUT THEN WROOM! I barely get time to put down the pipe as my head, then body is pulled down into the pillow and I disappear from my room. This is were it get's hard to describe. It's felt like I was cruising around my consciousnesses, and with every turn of my head I entered a new dimension of it. I was going so fast, and it was amazing. It felt like I was in a playground for the mind and it felt like I knew every corner of it. It felt like home.
I came to and immediately looked at the time because I could not believe it was already over, it had just started, and it was so cool! 10 min had passed, it felt like no more than 30 sec.
Ok, this is turning out to be a pretty long post, and maybe should have been 2 separate posts. I can't wait to break through, I feel like a lot of the thoughts I go around with every day are pretty similar to the ones I read people getting post DMT.
So my question here at the end is; do you guys think DMT can give me a stronger will to live? And not just to live, but actually live, get out there, inspire and get inspired. Partake in life.
This language is not my native tongue so I apologize for anything the auto correct couldn't fix and hope this post falls into the right hands.
Thank you for reading
Edward the Jack
22M
So yesterday I tried DMT for the first time.
My day had been pretty normal, maybe slightly on the negative side when summing it all up. In life i'm doing very well compared to a couple of years ago. I consider myself mentally strong, however also very aware. What I mean by aware is that I see what's going on in "the world" and always see the solutions. However, i'm very hesitant/scared of actually joining the world as I don't agree with the systems put in place to help. That, and I realize how little I can actually do, and if/when I do I know I won't feel any different. I realize it's all about the journey, about acceptance. I have gotten quite experienced with LSD which has helped me put a lot of things into words, but has failed in showing me a way. I feel like I either have to work hard to show everyone this truth I know, this vision, or run away from it all.
So I do DMT yesterday, 2 times. First time I get 2 huge tokes in, but on the second I get such powerful visuals that I am almost blinded (not painful) and let go of the toke way to quickly. The next thing I know I loose myself to the anxiety in me. The thoughts I normally control are taken over and I show myself how stupid I am for what I am doing. Thoughts like "you are not breathing" and then i gasp for breath, then "you have to puke" then I turn my head. The next thing I know is this other voice saying: "it's going to pass very soon" and after that I regain control. I smile, and suddenly everything is normal again, and I enjoy the afterglow. Even though, I am a bit disappointed as it had only been about 6 mins (until I could control my body again).
2 hours later I do it again, with 10mg more spice. Obviously a bit more scared then before the first time. So I decide to meditate (breathing exercises/clearing my mind) until I feel totally prepared.
This second experience was totally different. I took a small toke first, held it in, then really sucked in the second, so much so that I cleared the pipe which I realized by feeling some ashes in my mouth. I looked down at the pipe and "i'm back" (Sitting up in bed) I hear the voice again, even though it's not a voice just a feeling, a state, u guys understand. BUT THEN WROOM! I barely get time to put down the pipe as my head, then body is pulled down into the pillow and I disappear from my room. This is were it get's hard to describe. It's felt like I was cruising around my consciousnesses, and with every turn of my head I entered a new dimension of it. I was going so fast, and it was amazing. It felt like I was in a playground for the mind and it felt like I knew every corner of it. It felt like home.
I came to and immediately looked at the time because I could not believe it was already over, it had just started, and it was so cool! 10 min had passed, it felt like no more than 30 sec.
Ok, this is turning out to be a pretty long post, and maybe should have been 2 separate posts. I can't wait to break through, I feel like a lot of the thoughts I go around with every day are pretty similar to the ones I read people getting post DMT.
So my question here at the end is; do you guys think DMT can give me a stronger will to live? And not just to live, but actually live, get out there, inspire and get inspired. Partake in life.
This language is not my native tongue so I apologize for anything the auto correct couldn't fix and hope this post falls into the right hands.
Thank you for reading
Edward the Jack