DelusionsOfGrandeur
Esteemed member
This was my first experience with magic mushrooms and psychedelics in general.
I'll do my best to keep this cohesive. The experience was so surreal and varied that it's impossible to cover everything, so I'll focus on the moments that stood out most.
The Setup
**Substance:** Psilocybin mushrooms (roughly 2–3 grams total, a mix of Golden Teachers and Penis Envy prepared using lemon tek.)
**Setting:** At home, with my wife acting as my trip sitter.
Trip Report
The trip began with me sitting in bed watching music videos on my phone while waiting for the mushrooms to "kick in." At first, all I noticed was some enhancement of colors and lines. Nothing dramatic.
Eventually, the light from my phone became irritating, so I put on a playlist from the band Heilung, turned on my Bluetooth speaker and set my phone aside. I kept waiting for the stereotypical magic mushroom effects I'd heard people describe like melting walls or Smurfs to start running around, that sort of thing — but nothing like that happened. I even started wondering whether I'd taken enough.
Instead, I became sleepy and bored.
So I closed my eyes.... and the moment I did, everything changed.
I was launched into a realm that is almost impossible to describe. Pulsating shapes of impossible complexity exploded into existence around me. Colors, textures, and geometric forms shifted endlessly in every direction. The music seemed to create sine waves that flowed like water, rippling through the space around me.
Somewhere within that landscape, I heard a voice.
It spoke in a warm, motherly tone as if it was expecting me:
> "Ah, there you are~"
Immediately, I was enveloped by a feeling of unconditional love and acceptance. The presence seemed to know me intimately—my childhood trauma, my guarded nature, all of it laid bare. She reassured me that what had happened to me as a child was unfortunate, but that everything would be alright.
I began to cry.
It felt as though I was being physically and emotionally cradled and comforted. I wept for the boy I once was and the man I am now; for the first time in as long as I can remember, I let the sadness out. It was incredibly cathartic. After the waves of emotion and tears passed, she began cheering me up by showing me mesmerizing landscapes.
For what felt like an immeasurable amount of time, the voice showed me impossible visual wonders— shape after shape, color after color, each more astonishing than the last.
Occasionally, I would notice a pair of eyes hidden within the geometry.
" I found you!" I would think.
The voice would respond playfully:
"Don't pay attention to me. Look at this~"
Then another cascade of impossible imagery would unfold.
The dynamic reminded me of a game of hide-and-seek. If you've ever seen Alice in Wonderland, it felt similar to the Cheshire Cat—sometimes only eyes, sometimes a sly smile appearing briefly before disappearing back into the patterns.
The absurdity of it all had me laughing.
At some point, my wife came in to check on me.
Apparently, she found me rigid, freezing cold, and laughing uncontrollably.
Earlier, I had opened a window because I wanted to hear and smell the outside world. By the time the sun went down, the temperature had dropped to around 40°F.
Whoops.
When she grabbed my arm, two things happened.
First, despite having my eyes closed, I suddenly perceived her presence visually. In my mind's eye, her nervous system erupted into view filled with deep reds and purples —warm, vibrant, and alive. I could " see " her energy or aura, I'm not sure which one is accurate.
Second, the voice seemed to dislike her presence— I remember sensing jealousy. More broadly, it didn't like anything that grounded me in physical reality. Touching objects, opening my eyes, or otherwise interacting with the world pulled me out of the altered state, and the presence seemed resistant to that.
I may make a separate post someday describing the interactions between my wife, myself, and this entity in greater detail.
At this stage communication was essentially impossible. My thoughts were too fragmented to organize, and every attempt to focus on ordinary reality felt uncomfortable.
After my wife left and I settled back into the experience, I was immersed in what I can only describe as pure euphoria. It was happiness stripped down to its essence.
Eventually, my naturally pessimistic side emerged.
I remember thinking:
"This is way too amazing. I've heard about bad trips before, lets see how bad it can get."
I focused on shapes that resembled spiderwebs in the geometry and deliberately tried to steer myself toward a bad trip.
That was when the entity finally revealed itself.
A gigantic hooded serpent tore itself from the geometry and coiled around me.
In the same motherly voice, it said:
"No, no, no. Let's not do that~"
The snake was enormous—vast beyond measure. It towered over me, yet I felt no fear. If anything, I was fascinated and for some reason my first thought was:
"What kind of snake is this?"
I looked toward its tail, wondering if it was a rattlesnake and instead I found only a fractal spiral descending endlessly into infinity.
The snake informed me that it loved me and would protect me. I remember laughing at it and sarcastically thinking " Sure, you'll protect me. "
It didn't appreciate that.
The serpent rose high above me, baring massive fangs dripping with venom. Yet the emotion I received wasn't hostility; it was fierce devotion.
It felt like the love of a mother willing to die to protect her child.
The message was unmistakable:
"I am serious."
Eventually, I relented.
"Okay," I thought. "You'll protect me."
From what, I have no idea.
Following the encounter the experience gradually returned to a kaleidoscope of shifting colors, pleasure, and wonder before eventually fading.
When it was all over the best description I could give was this: It was the most feminine thing I have ever experienced, and I'm not even sure what that means.
Using a Grinch reference, it felt as though my heart had grown two sizes.
Things of note:
At one point, I was shown a brief but incredibly vivid scene. A hideous black parasite, something resembling a botfly or other grotesque insect was being extracted from me. I can't remember whether it was removed with forceps or with the serpent's teeth, but what I do remember is the message:
"You don't need this anymore~"
The moment felt deeply significant though I still don't know exactly what it represented.
2. As the trip began winding down, the serpent gave me very direct instructions. It told me that the next time I took mushrooms, it should be:
* Outside
* Around other people
* Near a fire
Why those specific conditions mattered I don't know, but the message felt deliberate.
I'll do my best to keep this cohesive. The experience was so surreal and varied that it's impossible to cover everything, so I'll focus on the moments that stood out most.
The Setup
**Substance:** Psilocybin mushrooms (roughly 2–3 grams total, a mix of Golden Teachers and Penis Envy prepared using lemon tek.)
**Setting:** At home, with my wife acting as my trip sitter.
Trip Report
The trip began with me sitting in bed watching music videos on my phone while waiting for the mushrooms to "kick in." At first, all I noticed was some enhancement of colors and lines. Nothing dramatic.
Eventually, the light from my phone became irritating, so I put on a playlist from the band Heilung, turned on my Bluetooth speaker and set my phone aside. I kept waiting for the stereotypical magic mushroom effects I'd heard people describe like melting walls or Smurfs to start running around, that sort of thing — but nothing like that happened. I even started wondering whether I'd taken enough.
Instead, I became sleepy and bored.
So I closed my eyes.... and the moment I did, everything changed.
I was launched into a realm that is almost impossible to describe. Pulsating shapes of impossible complexity exploded into existence around me. Colors, textures, and geometric forms shifted endlessly in every direction. The music seemed to create sine waves that flowed like water, rippling through the space around me.
Somewhere within that landscape, I heard a voice.
It spoke in a warm, motherly tone as if it was expecting me:
> "Ah, there you are~"
Immediately, I was enveloped by a feeling of unconditional love and acceptance. The presence seemed to know me intimately—my childhood trauma, my guarded nature, all of it laid bare. She reassured me that what had happened to me as a child was unfortunate, but that everything would be alright.
I began to cry.
It felt as though I was being physically and emotionally cradled and comforted. I wept for the boy I once was and the man I am now; for the first time in as long as I can remember, I let the sadness out. It was incredibly cathartic. After the waves of emotion and tears passed, she began cheering me up by showing me mesmerizing landscapes.
For what felt like an immeasurable amount of time, the voice showed me impossible visual wonders— shape after shape, color after color, each more astonishing than the last.
Occasionally, I would notice a pair of eyes hidden within the geometry.
" I found you!" I would think.
The voice would respond playfully:
"Don't pay attention to me. Look at this~"
Then another cascade of impossible imagery would unfold.
The dynamic reminded me of a game of hide-and-seek. If you've ever seen Alice in Wonderland, it felt similar to the Cheshire Cat—sometimes only eyes, sometimes a sly smile appearing briefly before disappearing back into the patterns.
The absurdity of it all had me laughing.
At some point, my wife came in to check on me.
Apparently, she found me rigid, freezing cold, and laughing uncontrollably.
Earlier, I had opened a window because I wanted to hear and smell the outside world. By the time the sun went down, the temperature had dropped to around 40°F.
Whoops.
When she grabbed my arm, two things happened.
First, despite having my eyes closed, I suddenly perceived her presence visually. In my mind's eye, her nervous system erupted into view filled with deep reds and purples —warm, vibrant, and alive. I could " see " her energy or aura, I'm not sure which one is accurate.
Second, the voice seemed to dislike her presence— I remember sensing jealousy. More broadly, it didn't like anything that grounded me in physical reality. Touching objects, opening my eyes, or otherwise interacting with the world pulled me out of the altered state, and the presence seemed resistant to that.
I may make a separate post someday describing the interactions between my wife, myself, and this entity in greater detail.
At this stage communication was essentially impossible. My thoughts were too fragmented to organize, and every attempt to focus on ordinary reality felt uncomfortable.
After my wife left and I settled back into the experience, I was immersed in what I can only describe as pure euphoria. It was happiness stripped down to its essence.
Eventually, my naturally pessimistic side emerged.
I remember thinking:
"This is way too amazing. I've heard about bad trips before, lets see how bad it can get."
I focused on shapes that resembled spiderwebs in the geometry and deliberately tried to steer myself toward a bad trip.
That was when the entity finally revealed itself.
A gigantic hooded serpent tore itself from the geometry and coiled around me.
In the same motherly voice, it said:
"No, no, no. Let's not do that~"
The snake was enormous—vast beyond measure. It towered over me, yet I felt no fear. If anything, I was fascinated and for some reason my first thought was:
"What kind of snake is this?"
I looked toward its tail, wondering if it was a rattlesnake and instead I found only a fractal spiral descending endlessly into infinity.
The snake informed me that it loved me and would protect me. I remember laughing at it and sarcastically thinking " Sure, you'll protect me. "
It didn't appreciate that.
The serpent rose high above me, baring massive fangs dripping with venom. Yet the emotion I received wasn't hostility; it was fierce devotion.
It felt like the love of a mother willing to die to protect her child.
The message was unmistakable:
"I am serious."
Eventually, I relented.
"Okay," I thought. "You'll protect me."
From what, I have no idea.
Following the encounter the experience gradually returned to a kaleidoscope of shifting colors, pleasure, and wonder before eventually fading.
When it was all over the best description I could give was this: It was the most feminine thing I have ever experienced, and I'm not even sure what that means.
Using a Grinch reference, it felt as though my heart had grown two sizes.
Things of note:
At one point, I was shown a brief but incredibly vivid scene. A hideous black parasite, something resembling a botfly or other grotesque insect was being extracted from me. I can't remember whether it was removed with forceps or with the serpent's teeth, but what I do remember is the message:
"You don't need this anymore~"
The moment felt deeply significant though I still don't know exactly what it represented.
2. As the trip began winding down, the serpent gave me very direct instructions. It told me that the next time I took mushrooms, it should be:
* Outside
* Around other people
* Near a fire
Why those specific conditions mattered I don't know, but the message felt deliberate.
