Procedure:
Beforehand I fasted for 12 hours. I dissolved 170mgs of harmalas from caapi and 40mgs of DMT in lime juice, and then added orange juice. I ate a bunch of ginger followed by about 5 drops of lemon oil in water. Next I drank the orange juice, and ate a piece of toasts. A bit later I had some pepto bismo. Yes, I really wanted to avoid puking. It's one of my least favorite things in the world to do.
Experience:
I felt the on set about 15 minutes latter, with visuals something like at very low level smoked DMT experience. Things were waving around and arranging themselves into patterns. The closed eye visuals consisted of around 2-3 shapes taking up entirety of my vision. With some time I started feeling like the input from of all my senses was getting amplified. Stretching out on the couch and grabbing at the cushions was oddly satisfying. Eventually the visuals changed, everything started look extremely bright, clear, and vivid, with faint patterns shimmering across every surface. Once it was fully ramped up, the primary effect was powerful mental and sensory overload, where everything became unbearable to look at.
I was getting overwhelmed and I tried to escape by running off into my bedroom and huddling up in bed with the lights off. I felt like I was being blasted apart into patterns and totally loosing myself. It wasn't too long before I knew this wasn't going to work; it was too dark in there and I had to run off to another part of the house. I became aware that my stomach was a bit unhappy, and I though that my body might need to puke, and in my state it might not be that bad. I tried to force myself to throw up, but that wasn't going to happen. It was like my stomach had shut it's self down completely. Something about the light in the bathroom made it feel like ever atom in body was getting blasted with white light.
I spent a bit more time sitting by myself in the living room. It felt like I was getting something like the opposite of ego death. I became extremely aware of every minute detail of my past, and all of the series of events that lead too this point. My thoughts were racing and difficult to keep track of. There was a timer with me that I had originally planned to use time out re-dosing, and I felt the need to keep of how much time I had left. Each minute was passing at a punishingly slow rate.
Eventually a friend showed up, and for some reason it made things more easy to deal with. I think it gave something to focus on and feel more centered. They had a lot silly internet videos of puppies and kitties to show me. By this point I ended up spending a lot of time on the couch rocking back and forth. I was in a state where I had to constantly change what I was doing, because I felt like if I stayed still I would plunge into something too deeply and become overwhelmed. After the first 2 hours were over, things started to calm down. The experience ended with me sitting in front of a fireplace with a kitty in my lap, in a state of calm and euphoria. For several months before this I had been experiencing unexplainable problems with anxiety, and afterwards this problem was completely cleared away. I felt like my state of mind had been reset and this lasted for several months.
Now I'm wondering if this is the sort of experience is what I should expect from pharmahuasca? The visuals were rather mild with a high level of psychological intensity. I have this feeling that if I was pushed past a certain point it might be easier to give into to the experience, and maybe it would be easier to handle. Other people seem to be able to do fine with this, so there must be a good mind set to approach this with. I've been much more comprehensively disoriented on LSD, but this was much more difficult to deal with. This was an exploratory mission to find the dose and get a taste of what it's all about, but it ended up being way different than anything else I've tried. I'm planning to cautiously try again once I can get the courage.
Beforehand I fasted for 12 hours. I dissolved 170mgs of harmalas from caapi and 40mgs of DMT in lime juice, and then added orange juice. I ate a bunch of ginger followed by about 5 drops of lemon oil in water. Next I drank the orange juice, and ate a piece of toasts. A bit later I had some pepto bismo. Yes, I really wanted to avoid puking. It's one of my least favorite things in the world to do.
Experience:
I felt the on set about 15 minutes latter, with visuals something like at very low level smoked DMT experience. Things were waving around and arranging themselves into patterns. The closed eye visuals consisted of around 2-3 shapes taking up entirety of my vision. With some time I started feeling like the input from of all my senses was getting amplified. Stretching out on the couch and grabbing at the cushions was oddly satisfying. Eventually the visuals changed, everything started look extremely bright, clear, and vivid, with faint patterns shimmering across every surface. Once it was fully ramped up, the primary effect was powerful mental and sensory overload, where everything became unbearable to look at.
I was getting overwhelmed and I tried to escape by running off into my bedroom and huddling up in bed with the lights off. I felt like I was being blasted apart into patterns and totally loosing myself. It wasn't too long before I knew this wasn't going to work; it was too dark in there and I had to run off to another part of the house. I became aware that my stomach was a bit unhappy, and I though that my body might need to puke, and in my state it might not be that bad. I tried to force myself to throw up, but that wasn't going to happen. It was like my stomach had shut it's self down completely. Something about the light in the bathroom made it feel like ever atom in body was getting blasted with white light.
I spent a bit more time sitting by myself in the living room. It felt like I was getting something like the opposite of ego death. I became extremely aware of every minute detail of my past, and all of the series of events that lead too this point. My thoughts were racing and difficult to keep track of. There was a timer with me that I had originally planned to use time out re-dosing, and I felt the need to keep of how much time I had left. Each minute was passing at a punishingly slow rate.
Eventually a friend showed up, and for some reason it made things more easy to deal with. I think it gave something to focus on and feel more centered. They had a lot silly internet videos of puppies and kitties to show me. By this point I ended up spending a lot of time on the couch rocking back and forth. I was in a state where I had to constantly change what I was doing, because I felt like if I stayed still I would plunge into something too deeply and become overwhelmed. After the first 2 hours were over, things started to calm down. The experience ended with me sitting in front of a fireplace with a kitty in my lap, in a state of calm and euphoria. For several months before this I had been experiencing unexplainable problems with anxiety, and afterwards this problem was completely cleared away. I felt like my state of mind had been reset and this lasted for several months.
Now I'm wondering if this is the sort of experience is what I should expect from pharmahuasca? The visuals were rather mild with a high level of psychological intensity. I have this feeling that if I was pushed past a certain point it might be easier to give into to the experience, and maybe it would be easier to handle. Other people seem to be able to do fine with this, so there must be a good mind set to approach this with. I've been much more comprehensively disoriented on LSD, but this was much more difficult to deal with. This was an exploratory mission to find the dose and get a taste of what it's all about, but it ended up being way different than anything else I've tried. I'm planning to cautiously try again once I can get the courage.
. I can tell you that a warm blanket, silence, a bed, and darkness, are the best cure to the waves of aya/pharma.
