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First time ayahuasca with admixture (+ongoing reports)

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obliguhl

obliguhl

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I woke up at 8:30am and drank 10g caapi with 30mg encapsulated dmt fumarates 10 minutes later.
Crawled back into bed, felt very cold moments later. Turned up some ambient music and starred into darkness. Half an hour later, i noticed mild DMT visuals. They grew stronger for half an hour and so did the nausea. I tried to purge but nothing came up...so i went back to bed and witnessed the nausea fade with the dmt visuals at the 1 hour mark.

-Is the short dmt experience a sign for insufficient maoi?

Afterwards, the real caapi experience started as i felt a jellyfish like force massaging my brain, cleaning up the lobes, establishing a force field around it. I had visions of it happening but not in a visual way. I could feel certain scenes with good plasticity. After a while the spirit told me to smoke dmt so it could show me more. During my thought process it happened, that i realized certain mechanics of consciousness. It would literally show me diagramms, schematics of how things work for me...that i needed to ewecultivate the "expanding center" of my existence to calm the mind chatter and to reintegrate lost pieces of my ego. After the lesson, the spirit said goodbye to me in a polite way and woke up very refreshed.

During waking consciousness, we lose track of certain internal processes ...how the mind communicates with the body and how they relate to each other. These internal mechanics can go wrong without us noticing. I believe ayahuasca can show us the tension we built up over the years and helps releasing it. The detailed schematics very awesome and helpful. I know now, how to "feel right" and i'll try to cultivate this feeling even though its obviously not that easy and needs more reinforcement.

For the next time i would like to have more light but perhaps i should add more caapi to get a fuller inhibition making for stronger and longer dmt effects. But i plan to continue low...

-10g caapi ..the next time extracted with a THP , making for a more potent and not so nauseating brew
-3 stramoniums + fresh ginger beforehand
-Maybe 40mg fums instead of 30 ?

All in all, a very fortunate occurrence compared to my first caapi only brew
 
My advice would be: use more caapi next time, at least 40g. Extracting with a not too hot THP extraction is in fact very good.

And don't use the datura yet, better wait until you are better acquainted with the vine. It can be very intense and boost a weak brew, but if you consider the overall experience, you would rather start with those clearer experiences you get from caapi (and spice) alone.
I understand that you might want to add the datura to counteract the nausea. That might work, but it will also transform the whole ayahuasca experience. It is not a bad thing, but it is "different". So better wait until later.
 
Usually, if it doesn't give a very strong experience, it has to do with the amount of MAOI's.
I have read though, that if pure DMT is used instead of plant material, the amount of DMT people need to have a full experience varies per person. I have read posts here, of people taking 100+mg's of pure DMT.
Still, i think it's better to first try to up the caapi dose.
 
Thank you both!
I might postpone the datura experiment then...what about ginger? Im willing to puke, but the nausea distracts me.

I think that 40g would be too much. I once tried 20-30 and it was horrible!
Is THP brew really twice as strong? I wonder if i should try 10g THP brew next or 15g .. if its really stronger, i think i should stay in the 10g range.
 
That is a completely normal experience with 10g caapi. If I take 10g caapi and dmt, the experience would last 30-40 minutes. If I take the dmt 60-90 minutes after 10g caapi, it lasts much longer.
 
Obli, do you have any Wayusa? I used to drink that often before a ceremony, and it is supposed to help. :)

Definitely increase the Caapi, I would say! Although, your experience sounds productive and lovely.

You can never have too much Caapi, in my experience, but you can have too much DMT, so best to build a strong, grounding base.

Congrats on the jellyfish. ;)
 
ms_manic_minxx said:
Obli, do you have any Wayusa? I used to drink that often before a ceremony, and it is supposed to help. :)

Definitely increase the Caapi, I would say! Although, your experience sounds productive and lovely.

You can never have too much Caapi, in my experience, but you can have too much DMT, so best to build a strong, grounding base.

Congrats on the jellyfish. ;)
Click to expand...
Yeah, you don't easily take too much caapi. I must say though, that a little bit can make a big difference. I always take just a little bit more than strictly nessecary, just to be sure, and i haven't had failed attempts since that has become my standard procedure.

And ginger is definately a good idea. I can't think of any reason not to use ginger.
 
I followed your advice..upped the caapi dose a bit, ate some ginger. Less nausea but also very weak effects. No Visuals and the caapi spirit was felt only slightly. I extracted using the THP this time. Seems to be a lot weaker. But the reduced brew did not taste bitter at all, more like oil with a strange aftertaste.

What gives...i will just drink the remaining 30g worth of ayahuasca next time and will resist the temptation to up the light dose. Need to get over my bad 30g experience. Maybe it really was the matè interaction which made it worse.
 
Third time now...

Dose 1

30g worth of THP brew, decanted multiple times, 30mg spice fumarate encapsulated.

Experience 1

Not much after an hour. Mild Caapi effects and very very distant and pale visuals

Dose 2

Re-dose after an hour with 5g regularly brewed caapi and another 30mg of fums.

Experience 2

Now, i was drifting towards the tryptamine space, slowly but surely. I felt able to imagine things in great detail and vividly, to see through the distinct, but still pale geometric visuals. At first i imagined great things like love for girls i know. I was flying through the city with my minds eye and engulfed in different synaesthetic pictures of some sort, while the music kept changing. Then, i thought of a lost love, and was curious what would happen if i'd slaughter her in my dream. As soon as i did it, i felt incredibly guilty and thought to have done something incredibly foolish. I had to think of brujeros, doing exactly this to harm a person. But i sure did not want to harm her. So waves of sadness and regret swept over me and i tried to counter it and projected good feelings towards her. I could imagine myself standing next to her bed and whispering into her dreams. I then was told, that it was ok...or was it me who told myself that to silence the worry?

From this moment on, it got heavy. I saw only very dark patterns and had trouble to breath. My chest hurt and i felt fear and anger pressing on my body. A force was felt in my throat and pain. I was a the place i needed to be. The place i know from my last DMT journeys. I was told, that i have to accept, that this is how it is now for me and that this is what i need to work on.

But i couldn't. I tried to free myself from it. Tried several "thought patterns", but nothing did the trick. I grew restless as i could not fight it but also could not let go.

I realized, as i began to cry, that sadness is something i can deal with. I know it. It flows like a dress from my body. But fear and anger is one with me. I can't see myself without it.
With sadness and all other emotions, its like a dress. I was shown. Just a thin layer, a thin membrane of the my core. The Ego is just like clothing.

I once read about a fat guy, who would sit for 20 years on his couch before he died. Well, they could not dettach him from his couch because the fabric somehow grew into his flash...or the other way round.

Its the same with me. I can't seperate myself from my artificial existence. My clothing is not to honor my real, lets say "soul body". It stinks. How can i let go of these emotions. I guess only by accepting them as part of my outer shell of existence, not as something internal.

But how? I always get confrontated, but i never got the power to overcome it during the psych experience.

I think i need more. More vine, less dmt (compared to the vine). Vine heavy = heavy integration. DMT heavy = lots of stuff to be seen and left alone with. My next plan is:

20g caapi, regular brew (THP seems to suck), wait an hour, swallow 40mg fumarates with another 10g worth of caapi. I might even up the dmt dose to 50mg, because i want to see. I want my ass kicked and healed. This problem of mine is killing me.
 
great report! it sounds like your making progress. thats awesome.
you know your body better than anyone but 30g caapi really isn't that much especially if your looking for a strong caapi anchor as stated. im not an expert but maybe look into trying 50g and re-dosing if necessary. if its healing you seek dont be shy with the vine!
i like to take a bit more caapi than i think i should. 100g seems to be my comfort level.
 
I can relate so much brother.
The pain and frustration of being trapped within a box of anger, that seems so natural, so integral, but you know it's not what you want.
Violent and unpleasent visions. Around peopel you love! Thinking of your loved ones!
it is an unholy color of the soul..
i wish you the best of luck, lovely friend.:) together we can all overcome.
 
Thank you both....
And 30g is not much if the brew is weak. I brewed 100g for 7 hours (simmered) and reduced, THEN decanted. Propably a mistake because i drank 50g over the course of 2 hours or so and it wasnt even enough to activate 3x 30mg fumarates properly. I then smoked some spice and payed for it with the worst headache of my life so far. Its frustrating. At one point i thought about just eating 5g of mushrooms just to get somewhere. I'm always confronted with my anger and bad feelings and i can't break through them. Not in waking life, not with psychedelics.
 
^thats alot of cappi..I would go on a limb here and say that if your brewing is not too inefficient..then you need to work on your sensitivity. Diet plays a HUGE role with ayahuasca here. I have been drinking 2-3 nights a week for the last few weeks straight now, basically work all day, then at night I drink ad go to school..eating almost all raw foods..lots of water at work and just tons of fruit all day..and drinking every few nights..I have noticed that my tolerance to ayahuasca just gets lower and lower and lower..40g caapi with 1g mimosa can really have me floored for a good hour or so, rolling around laughing and crying, deep into visions etc..

The headaches you are experiencing IME are also a form of detox..once you really start eating well and no more crap is going in ayahuasca will work on helping you detox that shit, then the relationship with the medicine starts to grow and you move past the detox symptoms into deeper and deeper visionary and unitive states..and deeper levels of energy work, opening the chakras etc..

Laying down and not getting up, moving etc I found lets the headaches fall into the background I find...just lay there and dont move unless the ayahuasca moves you.

The anger is all you..you cant get past it because you arent letting go. It's hard to realize at times how easy it really is to just let go and forget the silly idea that there is anything there to be angry about in the first place. If something needs fixing, fix it..anger is like the ultimate diversion in this case, where it will actually set up a loop that reinforces itself and you instead beat yourself up, focussing on the anger and your own inadequecies rather than simply trying out a new appraoch to something without passing self inflicting judgements..

The more you fear drinking..the more you prob NEED to drink.
 
Great advise as always fractal...but i found out that it is the brew. I brewed another 50g batch, but only for 2 hours this time and managed to drink 40g worth of it. Pretty hard to do, because i decanted it only one time and it was chocolate milk. I managed to hold it all in, despite quite intense nausea. It lasted for 1.5 hours maybe. Need to find a way to block it more, because it really disturbs the dreamstate.

And it was really visionary! Strongest brew so far! Its amazing how you can actually look beyond the faint Visual patterns and sense the DMT world and more...I like it very much!! More than the pure DMT patterns. Much more...

ART

I would see these pieces of art made of ivory and colorful gemstones. They were made from subtle feelings I use to attach to memories. As much as i tried to make sense of some pictures...i failed. The things I saw were entirely new and you simply could not put them into words that easily. But let me try:

"Hald sliced and stacked blue rain barell with red tube in the middle, coated with shattered glas lit by autumn light made of a subtle feeling with no name"

The aesthetics were HIGHLY PLEASING! Like bathing in the most pure and fresh art imaginable. Extremly classy, clear lines...luxorious. Just a bit more spice and i would have been breathtaking. I got the sense that it could have been be more vivid. Moreover, the single vision were just too short in most parts...for instance, i would see one beautiful ornamented picture frame for one split second, before a hand would put it away.

Living alternative Lifes and Memories

I could also dive into memories, wishes and dreams and somehow relive them to a degree. For once, I concentrated on a girl i like, and i saw here with me in a garden. She was very old but still as pleasant as she is now. I got the feeling, that we lived our lifes together and that she is the only person i ever need. There were also quite some erotic visions cut together like a highly artistic movie. I would fly above the city and enter buildings....stop the time ...merge with people and see the world from their perspective.

I could even replay a situation i was in, and look at it from another perspective. I'd merge with the person I was talking to and saw me through her eyes.

After 3 hours, the effects passed. I felt still dizzy and very tired. The whole experience lasted much longer than 3 hours in my mind. Make it at least 6 hours.

Now im awake, with a managable headache so far.
I don't feel healed or...ecstatic after having a strong revelation, or emoitional cleanup.
But it was still highly pleasing...and unpleasant at the same time (nausea)

A recommended experience ! :p
 
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