Hey all!
To start off I'd like to say thank you to the community here. I haven't posted much but I've learned so much reading through the threads and wiki here and feel indebted to the community. I'm writing this post to both share my first few experiences as well as to ask for some minor advice. These experiences may not be so substantial in dose or depth compared some I've read here, but perhaps they could be interesting to some.
My experiences with vaporized spice are very few, and most of the time in very low dose. Usually once the initial effects had started to take place, I had become too afraid to delve further. Following this I had resorted to using pharma which has a separation of dosage and effect which I felt more comfort undergoing.
I had a titrating approach to my use of pharma; I wanted to see how each gradation in dosage would increase the experience. The experiences were separated by a few weeks to a few months.
30 mg spice + 200 mg rue harmalas, 40 mg spice + 200 mg rue harmalas:
Very little effect was noticed, on the 40 mg dose I could tell that something was going on, but nothing significant on the conscious level.
60 mg spice + 200 mg rue harmalas:
I had two experiences at this level, and the first was what I consider my first real experience with DMT. I had very serious nausea as the experience was coming up, which surpassed as I approached the peak of the experience. The experience came through me in what felt like waves, with each wave having its own character and intensity. My vision for a good portion of the trip was filled and made up of intermorphing Sierpiński triangles/ metatron's cubes. I felt like these triangular tessellations held the encoding of this physical reality and through spice the veil of reality was removed and I was able to perceive this encoding. At one point I had encountered a tube/snake like structure with waves of color scrolling along its width and that I was passing through the realm of this object. I felt like this experience helped me a lot with self-esteem issues I was facing at the time, and helped me to see my worth.
The second experience had significantly less nausea, and may have felt even stronger in experience. I had the distinct sense that I was aboard a hyperspace pirate ship, doing my best to maintain balance as the ship navigated the turbulent waters. I also experienced as if every input into my visual field had been replaced with a visual enigma - fireworks and fractals and explosions. At one point the music ended and I had great difficulty trying to find another album, as the letters would be randomly replaced with these symbolic representations. I had also become aware of the great pressure I was experiencing in my life that I hadn't fully processed: the pressure to complete my master's thesis, the dealing with of significant losses recently in my family and the need to be strong and supportive for them, the upcoming significant changes in my life I would have to deal with, etc.. but at the same time I felt enormously grateful to be able to experience these highs and lows of life, it's the crazy ride of life that makes it exciting. Furthermore I am incredibly grateful to be able to use plant medicines to reflect on and process these experiences that I otherwise might ignore.
70 mg spice + 200 mg rue harmalas:
Once again I had two experiences at this dosage, the first a pleasant and reassuring one and the second a punishing one. I didn't write much of the first experience but I remember CEVs of blue and purple 3D structures of seemingly infinite depth. I also experienced extremely strong tremors which I have not experienced before with psychedelics. During the second half of the experience I was feeling overwhelming love; that I was part of the Earth, and that the Earth loved me, and that I was in exactly the place that I should be.
The second experience was my first difficult experience and also my first time experiencing what I thought was an entity. As the experience was coming up I was having a nice time, enjoying the music and dancing. I experienced a funny thing where I had fractalic rope like visuals, but peaking out from underneath was a face, in particular eyes and a mouth of an entity that felt feminine in nature. She was making funny faces at me which I found amusing. As the experience got stronger however I noticed that my vision began to blur and blend in places. I got the sensation that I was about to pierce the veil and truly enter hyperspace, and suddenly I became very afraid, I didn't feel like I was ready for this experience. I noticed that when I sat down, this sensation became much stronger, and that if I got up and continued to move around I could prevent myself from blasting off. This was quite uncomfortable, bumping up against the veil and being deathly afraid of what was on the other side, doing anything I could to prevent myself from going further. I attempted to do some yoga to keep myself moving and to try to ground myself, while also crying. It was during this yoga session that I experienced what I could only describe as an entity. He had the shape of the merkaba, and his skin seemed both liquid and metallic in nature, rippling and vibrating with energy. He was very upset with me for holding on so tightly and not letting go of this reality. I could relate this tight grip not only to holding on to reality during this pharma experience, but also to what I wanted out of life. In the end, I quelled off the experience until the effects subsided, but it left me quite afraid of going back to the spice realm.
It has been quite some time since this last experience, close to 2 years. I have mostly taken a break from psychedelics apart from a couple of acid trips and low dose mushroom experiences. But I feel like I'm finally ready to explore spice again, but I feel like I'm at a crossroads as to which way to go with it. I finally got my hands on a VG, so part of me thinks that vaping spice is the next logical step and that if I can break through on spice, I'll be less afraid of passing the veil in the future. Then again, I could make and smoke some changa which might be easier in helping me surpass the initial fears I get vaping spice. But then again, maybe I should go back and face my fears of pharma that were invoked in my last experience. I'm not sure if this is a situation where people could offer advice, maybe its a personal journey, but I thought I'd ask anyway: how would you all suggest I approach my upcoming experiences?
Thanks for reading, and I hope I haven't bored you all too much with this post. Once again, its awesome to be a part of this community, and I hope to be able to contribute more in the future!!
To start off I'd like to say thank you to the community here. I haven't posted much but I've learned so much reading through the threads and wiki here and feel indebted to the community. I'm writing this post to both share my first few experiences as well as to ask for some minor advice. These experiences may not be so substantial in dose or depth compared some I've read here, but perhaps they could be interesting to some.
My experiences with vaporized spice are very few, and most of the time in very low dose. Usually once the initial effects had started to take place, I had become too afraid to delve further. Following this I had resorted to using pharma which has a separation of dosage and effect which I felt more comfort undergoing.
I had a titrating approach to my use of pharma; I wanted to see how each gradation in dosage would increase the experience. The experiences were separated by a few weeks to a few months.
30 mg spice + 200 mg rue harmalas, 40 mg spice + 200 mg rue harmalas:
Very little effect was noticed, on the 40 mg dose I could tell that something was going on, but nothing significant on the conscious level.
60 mg spice + 200 mg rue harmalas:
I had two experiences at this level, and the first was what I consider my first real experience with DMT. I had very serious nausea as the experience was coming up, which surpassed as I approached the peak of the experience. The experience came through me in what felt like waves, with each wave having its own character and intensity. My vision for a good portion of the trip was filled and made up of intermorphing Sierpiński triangles/ metatron's cubes. I felt like these triangular tessellations held the encoding of this physical reality and through spice the veil of reality was removed and I was able to perceive this encoding. At one point I had encountered a tube/snake like structure with waves of color scrolling along its width and that I was passing through the realm of this object. I felt like this experience helped me a lot with self-esteem issues I was facing at the time, and helped me to see my worth.
The second experience had significantly less nausea, and may have felt even stronger in experience. I had the distinct sense that I was aboard a hyperspace pirate ship, doing my best to maintain balance as the ship navigated the turbulent waters. I also experienced as if every input into my visual field had been replaced with a visual enigma - fireworks and fractals and explosions. At one point the music ended and I had great difficulty trying to find another album, as the letters would be randomly replaced with these symbolic representations. I had also become aware of the great pressure I was experiencing in my life that I hadn't fully processed: the pressure to complete my master's thesis, the dealing with of significant losses recently in my family and the need to be strong and supportive for them, the upcoming significant changes in my life I would have to deal with, etc.. but at the same time I felt enormously grateful to be able to experience these highs and lows of life, it's the crazy ride of life that makes it exciting. Furthermore I am incredibly grateful to be able to use plant medicines to reflect on and process these experiences that I otherwise might ignore.
70 mg spice + 200 mg rue harmalas:
Once again I had two experiences at this dosage, the first a pleasant and reassuring one and the second a punishing one. I didn't write much of the first experience but I remember CEVs of blue and purple 3D structures of seemingly infinite depth. I also experienced extremely strong tremors which I have not experienced before with psychedelics. During the second half of the experience I was feeling overwhelming love; that I was part of the Earth, and that the Earth loved me, and that I was in exactly the place that I should be.
The second experience was my first difficult experience and also my first time experiencing what I thought was an entity. As the experience was coming up I was having a nice time, enjoying the music and dancing. I experienced a funny thing where I had fractalic rope like visuals, but peaking out from underneath was a face, in particular eyes and a mouth of an entity that felt feminine in nature. She was making funny faces at me which I found amusing. As the experience got stronger however I noticed that my vision began to blur and blend in places. I got the sensation that I was about to pierce the veil and truly enter hyperspace, and suddenly I became very afraid, I didn't feel like I was ready for this experience. I noticed that when I sat down, this sensation became much stronger, and that if I got up and continued to move around I could prevent myself from blasting off. This was quite uncomfortable, bumping up against the veil and being deathly afraid of what was on the other side, doing anything I could to prevent myself from going further. I attempted to do some yoga to keep myself moving and to try to ground myself, while also crying. It was during this yoga session that I experienced what I could only describe as an entity. He had the shape of the merkaba, and his skin seemed both liquid and metallic in nature, rippling and vibrating with energy. He was very upset with me for holding on so tightly and not letting go of this reality. I could relate this tight grip not only to holding on to reality during this pharma experience, but also to what I wanted out of life. In the end, I quelled off the experience until the effects subsided, but it left me quite afraid of going back to the spice realm.
It has been quite some time since this last experience, close to 2 years. I have mostly taken a break from psychedelics apart from a couple of acid trips and low dose mushroom experiences. But I feel like I'm finally ready to explore spice again, but I feel like I'm at a crossroads as to which way to go with it. I finally got my hands on a VG, so part of me thinks that vaping spice is the next logical step and that if I can break through on spice, I'll be less afraid of passing the veil in the future. Then again, I could make and smoke some changa which might be easier in helping me surpass the initial fears I get vaping spice. But then again, maybe I should go back and face my fears of pharma that were invoked in my last experience. I'm not sure if this is a situation where people could offer advice, maybe its a personal journey, but I thought I'd ask anyway: how would you all suggest I approach my upcoming experiences?
Thanks for reading, and I hope I haven't bored you all too much with this post. Once again, its awesome to be a part of this community, and I hope to be able to contribute more in the future!!
