HolyShadow92
Rising Star
Hello Nexus
It is nice to finally be in a place where likeminded people are discussing the important questions in life
A bit about me, i am nearing 34, spend my days in reflection and attempts of creation. I've had load of experiences in life and i had lived a pretty decent life until 2024 when the government stepped in and decided that i was too mentally unfit to run my own life. Since then i live a chemically suppressed life where i struggle to maintain individuality and reconcile my experiences with the life the government expects me to live. I am hoping to find some seasoned travellers that can help me understand what i was doing that was such a threat to safety that i need chemicals injected into me monthly. Chemicals that specifically bind to the receptors i need to process DMT. I can't help but feel like i am going insane because of the treatment i am getting accusing me of being delusional. I know the difference between reality and fiction, I just happen to feel reality is flawed after my many experiences with DMT. Something happened to me after my last DMT experience in 2024 and instead of being able to unpack and introspect the experience into my day to day world the government stepped in literally the day after i had the experience and locked me in a mental ward for 17 days. I hadn't done anything to anyone, or to myself, i still to this day do not know why they believe or suspect me of being mentally ill. There my outrage at being locked up was met with closed minded bias, institutional abuse to the point of requiring x-rays and 17 long days of attempting to plea my case that i was not mentally unwell. Eventually i am released with 0 explanations, 0 diagnosis and a sheet of pills i didn't know was designed to undo my long hard work of finding myself. The opposite happened where i began to lose myself, my confidence and soon after my sense of self and since my ritual of alignment and integration was so abruptly ruined i have not been able to reconcile my last DMT experience.
The experience that i am struggling with is this: I was in my flat, alone as my mother was in the hospital for observations over the weekend and i thought i had some time to have an experience and resume my responsibilities afterwards like i had done many times before. Little did i know this experience would play out a bit different to what usually would happen. So i set the atmosphere and cleansed myself as i usually would before a trip and got ready. I used a glass pipe loaded with enough dmt that usually blasts me away. But this time i used my willpower and focus to remain conscious and it worked i felt the whirl up and heard the frequency shift in the air around me like i normally hear going up but this time i was just awake in my living room. When out of the corner of my eye i see movement, shocked i turn my head to right slightly and standing there fully black and white was a humanoid figure standing about 6ft tall facing a drawing i had up on the wall. It was vertically different with the left half being white and the black half on the right. I was shocked and speechless, it reached its arm out towards the drawing and said "this boy" in an incredulous tone or accent, before i could react something above me grabs my attention again and i instinctively look up. Out of the overhead light that is on a being leaps forth directly into me and i am filled with this overwhelming jolt of something... after that i am a passenger in my own body as i leap to my feet, the black and white being is no where to be seen and i find my body running towards a full length mirror i had by the door. For lack of a better conceptual framing this entity within me runs up to the mirror in pure excitement, looks at itself in my body (and i was in shape then) Proceeds to hump the mirror 3 times hard! Then it runs back over to the lounge plopping down in a twist to face the TV throws my left arm over the back of my lounge and begins to laugh this absolutely digital warble of a laugh as if it had been waiting for this moment for a long time, the room sort of resonated with the laugh and reverberated through the walls. It sounded like raging waters and digital interference. That's when it lent forward like it was preparing to do something and i feel this "are you ready" from within me and this is where i feel like my control snap back into place and i just blurt out NO and that's when it all ended. Nothing else happened, I was just sitting there thinking "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK". I looked around at the room, up at the light where it came from and just could not begin to wrap my head around the fact i was possessed by something that was not dangerous but not forthcoming with its intent... I've had over a year of processing this experience I honestly do not care if this makes me look 10x more insane on the face of it but there are some truths i know to be fact. 1, I'm not alone in believing DMT connects you to other realms consciously. 2, visiting other entities really happens when you take enough DMT. My brain is like what if something visits us when we visit them? What if instead of connecting outwards i opened the field to other travellers and something took it upon itself to leap into me during my open state.
What i find disturbing is the day after is when the government steps in and knocks on my door. "You need to come with us" Literally a woman in a black suit and a police officer at my door to take me away. Bewildered and frankly still shaken, i proceed to comply with authorities and Yeah you get the aforementioned mental health ward.
If anyone can offer aid or guidance as to my legal situation and surreal experience it would be greatly appreciated. I have yet to hear of anyone else being possessed in a dmt state but i would welcome any information that i could use to help with this experience.
Thank you for reading if you did and i welcome replies and DMs, Very new here and never really spoken about this to anyone before. There may be gaps in the story but know the past year has been a year from hell and i feel like the frog being slowly boiled in the pot until it cooks to death.
It is nice to finally be in a place where likeminded people are discussing the important questions in life
A bit about me, i am nearing 34, spend my days in reflection and attempts of creation. I've had load of experiences in life and i had lived a pretty decent life until 2024 when the government stepped in and decided that i was too mentally unfit to run my own life. Since then i live a chemically suppressed life where i struggle to maintain individuality and reconcile my experiences with the life the government expects me to live. I am hoping to find some seasoned travellers that can help me understand what i was doing that was such a threat to safety that i need chemicals injected into me monthly. Chemicals that specifically bind to the receptors i need to process DMT. I can't help but feel like i am going insane because of the treatment i am getting accusing me of being delusional. I know the difference between reality and fiction, I just happen to feel reality is flawed after my many experiences with DMT. Something happened to me after my last DMT experience in 2024 and instead of being able to unpack and introspect the experience into my day to day world the government stepped in literally the day after i had the experience and locked me in a mental ward for 17 days. I hadn't done anything to anyone, or to myself, i still to this day do not know why they believe or suspect me of being mentally ill. There my outrage at being locked up was met with closed minded bias, institutional abuse to the point of requiring x-rays and 17 long days of attempting to plea my case that i was not mentally unwell. Eventually i am released with 0 explanations, 0 diagnosis and a sheet of pills i didn't know was designed to undo my long hard work of finding myself. The opposite happened where i began to lose myself, my confidence and soon after my sense of self and since my ritual of alignment and integration was so abruptly ruined i have not been able to reconcile my last DMT experience.
The experience that i am struggling with is this: I was in my flat, alone as my mother was in the hospital for observations over the weekend and i thought i had some time to have an experience and resume my responsibilities afterwards like i had done many times before. Little did i know this experience would play out a bit different to what usually would happen. So i set the atmosphere and cleansed myself as i usually would before a trip and got ready. I used a glass pipe loaded with enough dmt that usually blasts me away. But this time i used my willpower and focus to remain conscious and it worked i felt the whirl up and heard the frequency shift in the air around me like i normally hear going up but this time i was just awake in my living room. When out of the corner of my eye i see movement, shocked i turn my head to right slightly and standing there fully black and white was a humanoid figure standing about 6ft tall facing a drawing i had up on the wall. It was vertically different with the left half being white and the black half on the right. I was shocked and speechless, it reached its arm out towards the drawing and said "this boy" in an incredulous tone or accent, before i could react something above me grabs my attention again and i instinctively look up. Out of the overhead light that is on a being leaps forth directly into me and i am filled with this overwhelming jolt of something... after that i am a passenger in my own body as i leap to my feet, the black and white being is no where to be seen and i find my body running towards a full length mirror i had by the door. For lack of a better conceptual framing this entity within me runs up to the mirror in pure excitement, looks at itself in my body (and i was in shape then) Proceeds to hump the mirror 3 times hard! Then it runs back over to the lounge plopping down in a twist to face the TV throws my left arm over the back of my lounge and begins to laugh this absolutely digital warble of a laugh as if it had been waiting for this moment for a long time, the room sort of resonated with the laugh and reverberated through the walls. It sounded like raging waters and digital interference. That's when it lent forward like it was preparing to do something and i feel this "are you ready" from within me and this is where i feel like my control snap back into place and i just blurt out NO and that's when it all ended. Nothing else happened, I was just sitting there thinking "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK". I looked around at the room, up at the light where it came from and just could not begin to wrap my head around the fact i was possessed by something that was not dangerous but not forthcoming with its intent... I've had over a year of processing this experience I honestly do not care if this makes me look 10x more insane on the face of it but there are some truths i know to be fact. 1, I'm not alone in believing DMT connects you to other realms consciously. 2, visiting other entities really happens when you take enough DMT. My brain is like what if something visits us when we visit them? What if instead of connecting outwards i opened the field to other travellers and something took it upon itself to leap into me during my open state.
What i find disturbing is the day after is when the government steps in and knocks on my door. "You need to come with us" Literally a woman in a black suit and a police officer at my door to take me away. Bewildered and frankly still shaken, i proceed to comply with authorities and Yeah you get the aforementioned mental health ward.
If anyone can offer aid or guidance as to my legal situation and surreal experience it would be greatly appreciated. I have yet to hear of anyone else being possessed in a dmt state but i would welcome any information that i could use to help with this experience.
Thank you for reading if you did and i welcome replies and DMs, Very new here and never really spoken about this to anyone before. There may be gaps in the story but know the past year has been a year from hell and i feel like the frog being slowly boiled in the pot until it cooks to death.
