A few days ago I had the most powerful opening up of the God part of the brain (GODPOB) with changa. It was definitely not a breakthrough. I was totally conscious and could talk and everything, but God entered my brain so intensely that I was shouting "OH MY GOD!!!!" It lasted about half an hour. The next day, God was still lingering in my brain just a little. Of course I've had God encounters before with DMT, but never this intensely while at this level of awakeness/awareness.
As an agnostic, leaning towards atheism since I was a kid, I really don't want to be a religious missionary or anything. I really don't want to believe in God. I do like to experience God every now and then, but I am becoming afraid that if I do it too much, my GODPOB might just not turn off. Has anyone else had this happen to them, I wonder? Because if it happened to me I think I would have to become a religious missionary.
It's really funny how I did not understand the fervent belief in God before DMT. Before, I would argue with JWs and others about how there is no evidence for God. They would always say, "What? The evidence is all around you, the birds, the trees, the beauty of LIFE!" I would just write them off as being completely irrational and retarded. Now, I realize that rationality is completely impossible to deal with when you have an open GODPOB, because it supersedes all logical thought. It is impossible to explain the GODPOB feeling, except that you now KNOW that GOD EXISTS. Anyway, I guess I'm lucky, because mine is off again... I mean, I really don't want to be a missionary, I hate those types... although I guess if mine were on permanently, I would be saying "I am soo glad it is finally on permanently!"
I really want to get some people who have had non-drug-induced GODPOB experiences to tell me how the DMT GODPOB experience differs, if at all. Btw, I think the DMT experience gets a bit muddied when you do too much. Like it is sooo intense on aya that you start thinking really insane shit and then the next day all you can do is laugh at how crazy it is to be like that. But with low-dose, sub-breakthrough GODPOB openings, it is extremely clear, if that makes any sense. It is no longer something that I can make fun of the next day, if that helps to explain my meaning.
What's interesting is that most people I talk to seem to be very comfortable with their relationship or non-reliationship with God, and so when I tell them, "Look, I want you to experience God on DMT and tell me what it's like for you," they decline. And I understand why. It is very scary, in a way, even though it is so incredibly beautiful. I understand finally why one would fear God as many true believers do. It is not because God is not all-merciful, all-good etc. It is simply the immense power, it is so powerful it is overwhelming, and you must give into it, you almost have no choice.