StaticStars
Rising Star
Not sure how much time I have. Or we have... But hopefully we can transcend certain realms - Is salvia mentioned on here (I just checked, yeah it is haha..) - I never tried salvia - But it interests me so much.. Just that everything is consciousness.. Panpsychism..
"You have very gentle and positive energy. Bad experiences are sometimes present from universe, only people which can handle them will experience them. All people which are psychologists etc read books written by people which went through the trauma. Thanks to people with trauma we can help others".
My trauma is more like annoying stuff.. That causes pain - Like gears grinding.. Constantly, eating my neurons.. That's basically what it is. Even though I've been very very high, no psychiatrist ever mentioned "bipolar" or "mania". I've been depressed... I'm psychodivergent - "the real god" (Just kidding - You're that person..)... Anyway..
I mostly use psychedelics for neuronal growth.. I thought about learning everything I could about DMT.. In 2018, I vaped 10mg (Very shroomy, as usual) - But I said "I'm not ready to breakthrough".. I've been microdosing it for about a year now (Maybe a few times a month, then months will pass without using it...).. I'm still not ready to breakthrough.. I want to learn more about it (I would still breakthrough anyways if I wasn't on psychiatric meds - And I'lll explain how careful I am in a minute)...
Well I'll just say it now.. I'm one of the most cautious, careful, conservative.. Drug users.. And it never used to be like that - Until I accidentally took 125-150mg of 4-AcO-DMT (On December 26th, 2016).. I had a very, verryyy bad trip.. Before that? I was reckless, impulsive, self-destructive, manic etc (Because they put me on an abnormally high dose of "Abilify"/400mg injections + 10mg tablet - I'm on Invega 525mg now, and Vraylar, 4.5mg..). I started to get depersonalization/derealization a lot (Episodes) throughout the years. I needed 10mg of olanzepine every day in 2020 (To use instead of benzos - And it worked just as good) - That induced a certain type of neurogenesis.
I thought I had to be on olanzepine forever, but I remembered that I used ketamine in 2019 (1g - 30-50mg once every 1-2 weeks), and my DPDR was gone for 6 months.. I thought "That's interesting.. What if I use ketamine again to get off the olanzepine?" - It worked.. I then continued to use the ketamine (30-70mg almost every day in all of 2023), then I stopped that.. The DPDR went away in 2022.
But ketamine did something absolutely incredible.. It made me realize that "life is life" (In such a simple and profound way) - So I wasn't scared and uncertain anymore (If I were to for example .. Smoke a breakthrough dose of DMT, I'd be pretty fine..)... Growing up, I had a very high a math/analytical IQ.. And slightly low reading comprehension IQ (Or however those work.. A plasma ball mirroring slightly the intelligence of God/The universe?). Anyways..
I've been taking ADHD meds for a long time.. Was abusing the hell out of any stimulant..
Why am I so tired to explain my experiences to everything... I feel despondent... I miss my friend..
I spent my time since 2018, listening to podcasts every day ... 2-3 hours a day.. For 5 years, had crazy philosophical/metaphysical thoughts.. Before the bad trip, I was an atheist.. Then pantheist (Cuz my comedown realization quote was "Nothing is everything which is also God" - Imagine that.. Cool right? lol).. Then panentheist... Then panpsychist... Life is life.. The aliens will come (As Clif High is saying).... So be prepared for that.
All I've done since then was microdose.. The bad trip had crazy anti-addictive properties like that of an ibogaine trip.. I used 50+ psychoactive substances.. I microdose LSD, 4-PO-DMT, 4-AcO-DMT and DMT! I just read that thread about the melatonin..
I've been talking to some friend (She's my soulmate), too smart... About so much over the past 2 years.. Psychonaut stuff etc.. My dream job is to be a neuropsychopharmacologist.. But lately I've been into conspiracy theories and such.. It's a long story...
Yknow, everything is such a long story... I don't want to make it about me either - I just want to be in the background. I'm going to start an online chemistry course (I've been procrastinating that for a long time - I liked it in high school), and I can chat with you guys about chemistry, tryptamines etc, which would be cool.. I'm really all over the place tbf... I do meditate, but not enough.. DMT vaped is like instant meditative state though, I don't do that enough either... Do you all see what I'm trying to say?? Lol =]
I've been reading over the site for many years, but only for a few seconds.. But I'm on many other forums relating to things like this.. I hope I can learn (I love to learn infinite things.. I'm just interested in everything..), and contribute.. I'd love to be a neoshaman... Cuz I love to help people...
Best to not be solipsistic etc.. We're in a hologram, a dream - We are infinite fractals.. Very beautiful. I like the antidepressant effect of DMT - Although Vraylar has been very good for that, and I'm hesitant to mix both right now (Any information on that would be welcome). I hope to have fun with you all !
"You have very gentle and positive energy. Bad experiences are sometimes present from universe, only people which can handle them will experience them. All people which are psychologists etc read books written by people which went through the trauma. Thanks to people with trauma we can help others".
My trauma is more like annoying stuff.. That causes pain - Like gears grinding.. Constantly, eating my neurons.. That's basically what it is. Even though I've been very very high, no psychiatrist ever mentioned "bipolar" or "mania". I've been depressed... I'm psychodivergent - "the real god" (Just kidding - You're that person..)... Anyway..
I mostly use psychedelics for neuronal growth.. I thought about learning everything I could about DMT.. In 2018, I vaped 10mg (Very shroomy, as usual) - But I said "I'm not ready to breakthrough".. I've been microdosing it for about a year now (Maybe a few times a month, then months will pass without using it...).. I'm still not ready to breakthrough.. I want to learn more about it (I would still breakthrough anyways if I wasn't on psychiatric meds - And I'lll explain how careful I am in a minute)...
Well I'll just say it now.. I'm one of the most cautious, careful, conservative.. Drug users.. And it never used to be like that - Until I accidentally took 125-150mg of 4-AcO-DMT (On December 26th, 2016).. I had a very, verryyy bad trip.. Before that? I was reckless, impulsive, self-destructive, manic etc (Because they put me on an abnormally high dose of "Abilify"/400mg injections + 10mg tablet - I'm on Invega 525mg now, and Vraylar, 4.5mg..). I started to get depersonalization/derealization a lot (Episodes) throughout the years. I needed 10mg of olanzepine every day in 2020 (To use instead of benzos - And it worked just as good) - That induced a certain type of neurogenesis.
I thought I had to be on olanzepine forever, but I remembered that I used ketamine in 2019 (1g - 30-50mg once every 1-2 weeks), and my DPDR was gone for 6 months.. I thought "That's interesting.. What if I use ketamine again to get off the olanzepine?" - It worked.. I then continued to use the ketamine (30-70mg almost every day in all of 2023), then I stopped that.. The DPDR went away in 2022.
But ketamine did something absolutely incredible.. It made me realize that "life is life" (In such a simple and profound way) - So I wasn't scared and uncertain anymore (If I were to for example .. Smoke a breakthrough dose of DMT, I'd be pretty fine..)... Growing up, I had a very high a math/analytical IQ.. And slightly low reading comprehension IQ (Or however those work.. A plasma ball mirroring slightly the intelligence of God/The universe?). Anyways..
I've been taking ADHD meds for a long time.. Was abusing the hell out of any stimulant..
Why am I so tired to explain my experiences to everything... I feel despondent... I miss my friend..
I spent my time since 2018, listening to podcasts every day ... 2-3 hours a day.. For 5 years, had crazy philosophical/metaphysical thoughts.. Before the bad trip, I was an atheist.. Then pantheist (Cuz my comedown realization quote was "Nothing is everything which is also God" - Imagine that.. Cool right? lol).. Then panentheist... Then panpsychist... Life is life.. The aliens will come (As Clif High is saying).... So be prepared for that.
All I've done since then was microdose.. The bad trip had crazy anti-addictive properties like that of an ibogaine trip.. I used 50+ psychoactive substances.. I microdose LSD, 4-PO-DMT, 4-AcO-DMT and DMT! I just read that thread about the melatonin..
I've been talking to some friend (She's my soulmate), too smart... About so much over the past 2 years.. Psychonaut stuff etc.. My dream job is to be a neuropsychopharmacologist.. But lately I've been into conspiracy theories and such.. It's a long story...
Yknow, everything is such a long story... I don't want to make it about me either - I just want to be in the background. I'm going to start an online chemistry course (I've been procrastinating that for a long time - I liked it in high school), and I can chat with you guys about chemistry, tryptamines etc, which would be cool.. I'm really all over the place tbf... I do meditate, but not enough.. DMT vaped is like instant meditative state though, I don't do that enough either... Do you all see what I'm trying to say?? Lol =]
I've been reading over the site for many years, but only for a few seconds.. But I'm on many other forums relating to things like this.. I hope I can learn (I love to learn infinite things.. I'm just interested in everything..), and contribute.. I'd love to be a neoshaman... Cuz I love to help people...
Best to not be solipsistic etc.. We're in a hologram, a dream - We are infinite fractals.. Very beautiful. I like the antidepressant effect of DMT - Although Vraylar has been very good for that, and I'm hesitant to mix both right now (Any information on that would be welcome). I hope to have fun with you all !
