Maticosieniekawali
Rising Star
Hi everyone, my last changa journey was around 6 years ago… and it was unbelievably unusual.
In total I’ve had around 10 trips. All of them were positive and educational — never truly negative, at most neutral. I want to describe one experience that I searched for on forums for hours and never found anything similar to. I hope someone can help me interpret and integrate it so maybe one day I can return there again.
I won’t focus on all the trips, only the last two, because they felt connected. The second journey, which happened a few weeks later, felt like a continuation of the first. This only ever happened once, and afterward I never again felt the need to go “there” until now — but the fear of it has always been huge.
The three of us smoked at the same moment and the trip began. At first, we all saw the same thing. We were flying at enormous speed, like at the beginning of many DMT experiences, all together on some kind of flying carpet-like object.
After the trip, we all agreed that I had somehow become the “leader” of the group — the one who was least afraid and wanted to protect the others.
At some point, me and one friend were pulled into the same world, while the third friend went somewhere completely different.
The two of us entered a dark black-and-grey realm where there was nothing except darkness. Out of the darkness emerged three tall floating figures — completely black, thin, faceless beings. Or maybe they had faces and I simply couldn’t look at them properly; I still don’t know.
They seemed surprised that we were there and deeply curious about us. They wanted to touch us.
From the very beginning I resisted them and absolutely did not want to allow it. My friend allowed them to touch him immediately.
The moment that happened, our connection disappeared and they took him away. He was simply gone. I remained alone there, fighting those beings, dodging them so they couldn’t touch me.
This was the first and only time in the DMT world that I became aggressive and vulgar. I got furious at them, but I was much weaker than they were. All I could do was avoid their fingers and insult them.
I felt they had bad intentions toward me — I had never encountered entities like that before — and I felt I absolutely could not let them touch me.
And somehow… I succeeded.
Suddenly I was pulled into another place that was incredibly positive. At one point I even entered a world where the second friend was — something like a candy-colored playground universe. But it wasn’t my kind of place, so I wanted to leave quickly, and I did. The elves there seemed “positive,” but somehow fake to me, even though they weren’t doing anything harmful.
The rest of the trip involved several more places, all deeply pleasant and insightful. I could open my eyes, but it made no difference — open-eye and closed-eye reality were the same.
I felt I had completely surrendered myself to the experience and was returning to reality happy. I made it. It was my first truly conscious, full 100% breakthrough. I felt amazing.
But then, after returning, I looked at the friend who had allowed them to touch him…
He was wrapped in a blanket in a shape resembling a coffin. He looked terrible, so I asked him if he was okay.
He answered:
“No. I died.”
Then he opened his eyes… and his eyes were not his.
I’ve known him for 20 years. We’ve been through a lot together, but I had never seen eyes like that on him. They were dark and full of emptiness.
Then, in a voice that didn’t sound like his own, with a disturbing smile, he asked me:
“CAN I TOUCH YOU?”
I confidently answered: “NO.”
He replied that it was fine, that he would only watch me. Then he started making strange animal-like sounds under his breath and twisting his body into unnatural positions unlike anything I’d ever seen him do before.
If not for the fact that I’m physically much larger and stronger than him, I honestly think I would have been terrified.
This state lasted around 70 hours after the trip.
After 48 hours he called me and said he still felt possessed, that his eyes still didn’t feel like his own. Even his wife told him he seemed strange and asked why his eyes looked different.
He was terrified because even though he had returned to ordinary reality, he still felt another presence inside him.
After around 70 hours he called again and said he had finally “woken up” and felt like himself again.
This was many years ago and it never returned. To this day he is healthy and a happy father and husband.
The preparation that day was poor: the house was messy, no diet, and I physically felt terrible that day.
After the first hit, neither of us felt anything at all. We decided to wait half an hour and try again.
The second time, we were both taken into separate places… and unfortunately I was immediately taken back to that place.
The moment I broke through to the other side, they were already there — the same three shadow entities I had encountered before, the ones I resisted while my friend surrendered immediately.
This time they were waiting for me. I didn’t even have time to react before they touched me. It felt like a planned ambush.
The instant it happened, I felt pain, suffering, and a massive drain of energy… and then I was violently thrown back into reality.
For a brief moment after they touched me, I saw only a black screen — like I had been completely logged out. Then suddenly I was back on Earth.
Afterward I felt immediately and extremely dehydrated, almost like a severe illness had suddenly hit me.
The next 3 days were a nightmare: high fever, vomiting, diarrhea, full-body pain, complete exhaustion.
After that I never again had the courage to try returning there. The sheer power of that experience terrified me.
But now, almost 6 years later, my thoughts are returning to it again. I’m no longer as afraid, and I want to understand it and integrate it within myself.
Can anyone offer their perspective on this?
Wishing all of you the best
In total I’ve had around 10 trips. All of them were positive and educational — never truly negative, at most neutral. I want to describe one experience that I searched for on forums for hours and never found anything similar to. I hope someone can help me interpret and integrate it so maybe one day I can return there again.
I won’t focus on all the trips, only the last two, because they felt connected. The second journey, which happened a few weeks later, felt like a continuation of the first. This only ever happened once, and afterward I never again felt the need to go “there” until now — but the fear of it has always been huge.
Trip #1
The first trip was with two close friends. We approached it very seriously: long meditation beforehand, cleaning the space together, lights, music, special diet for days before, etc. — a fully respectful ceremonial approach.The three of us smoked at the same moment and the trip began. At first, we all saw the same thing. We were flying at enormous speed, like at the beginning of many DMT experiences, all together on some kind of flying carpet-like object.
After the trip, we all agreed that I had somehow become the “leader” of the group — the one who was least afraid and wanted to protect the others.
At some point, me and one friend were pulled into the same world, while the third friend went somewhere completely different.
The two of us entered a dark black-and-grey realm where there was nothing except darkness. Out of the darkness emerged three tall floating figures — completely black, thin, faceless beings. Or maybe they had faces and I simply couldn’t look at them properly; I still don’t know.
They seemed surprised that we were there and deeply curious about us. They wanted to touch us.
From the very beginning I resisted them and absolutely did not want to allow it. My friend allowed them to touch him immediately.
The moment that happened, our connection disappeared and they took him away. He was simply gone. I remained alone there, fighting those beings, dodging them so they couldn’t touch me.
This was the first and only time in the DMT world that I became aggressive and vulgar. I got furious at them, but I was much weaker than they were. All I could do was avoid their fingers and insult them.
I felt they had bad intentions toward me — I had never encountered entities like that before — and I felt I absolutely could not let them touch me.
And somehow… I succeeded.
Suddenly I was pulled into another place that was incredibly positive. At one point I even entered a world where the second friend was — something like a candy-colored playground universe. But it wasn’t my kind of place, so I wanted to leave quickly, and I did. The elves there seemed “positive,” but somehow fake to me, even though they weren’t doing anything harmful.
The rest of the trip involved several more places, all deeply pleasant and insightful. I could open my eyes, but it made no difference — open-eye and closed-eye reality were the same.
I felt I had completely surrendered myself to the experience and was returning to reality happy. I made it. It was my first truly conscious, full 100% breakthrough. I felt amazing.
But then, after returning, I looked at the friend who had allowed them to touch him…
He was wrapped in a blanket in a shape resembling a coffin. He looked terrible, so I asked him if he was okay.
He answered:
“No. I died.”
Then he opened his eyes… and his eyes were not his.
I’ve known him for 20 years. We’ve been through a lot together, but I had never seen eyes like that on him. They were dark and full of emptiness.
Then, in a voice that didn’t sound like his own, with a disturbing smile, he asked me:
“CAN I TOUCH YOU?”
I confidently answered: “NO.”
He replied that it was fine, that he would only watch me. Then he started making strange animal-like sounds under his breath and twisting his body into unnatural positions unlike anything I’d ever seen him do before.
If not for the fact that I’m physically much larger and stronger than him, I honestly think I would have been terrified.
This state lasted around 70 hours after the trip.
After 48 hours he called me and said he still felt possessed, that his eyes still didn’t feel like his own. Even his wife told him he seemed strange and asked why his eyes looked different.
He was terrified because even though he had returned to ordinary reality, he still felt another presence inside him.
After around 70 hours he called again and said he had finally “woken up” and felt like himself again.
This was many years ago and it never returned. To this day he is healthy and a happy father and husband.
Trip #2 (a few weeks later)
This time we smoked the exact same changa, but without the friend who had been “touched.”The preparation that day was poor: the house was messy, no diet, and I physically felt terrible that day.
After the first hit, neither of us felt anything at all. We decided to wait half an hour and try again.
The second time, we were both taken into separate places… and unfortunately I was immediately taken back to that place.
The moment I broke through to the other side, they were already there — the same three shadow entities I had encountered before, the ones I resisted while my friend surrendered immediately.
This time they were waiting for me. I didn’t even have time to react before they touched me. It felt like a planned ambush.
The instant it happened, I felt pain, suffering, and a massive drain of energy… and then I was violently thrown back into reality.
For a brief moment after they touched me, I saw only a black screen — like I had been completely logged out. Then suddenly I was back on Earth.
Afterward I felt immediately and extremely dehydrated, almost like a severe illness had suddenly hit me.
The next 3 days were a nightmare: high fever, vomiting, diarrhea, full-body pain, complete exhaustion.
After that I never again had the courage to try returning there. The sheer power of that experience terrified me.
But now, almost 6 years later, my thoughts are returning to it again. I’m no longer as afraid, and I want to understand it and integrate it within myself.
Can anyone offer their perspective on this?
Wishing all of you the best
