Halfanimal
Rising Star
Hello people
I feel a bit weird posting an introduction of myself to people I don't know yet but I can understand why it's a good idea. And this forum looks really great so I would love to become a part of it
A bit about me, I'm 20 years old, male, philosophy student, with a life long obsession with probing as deeply as possible into the nature of reality and an experience of beauty in it's purest forms. To go beyond normal consciousness, to experience the sublime. This was always going to lead me to psychedelics. I also love philosophy and eastern philosophy especially very much. And music. I've found an increasingly satisfying understanding of reality and the existential problem of being a human over the last couple of years, from absorbing knowledge from the philosophical traditions of taoism, buddhism and hinduism, travel, which helped me loosen my mind and of course, psychedelics, which really helped my push my understanding of just how beautiful existence really is.
This came after a long period of depression in my teenage years up until I was 18, when I travelled to California for a few months (I'm from England) to work on farms and also happened to get quite into cannabis and lsd whilst out there. I had taken LSD when I was 16 and smoked weed from quite a while, but I was still heavily under the spell of maya - the spell cast by western culture as we leave childhood that prevents us from knowing our true selves & the majesty of existence, to keep the machine running (sorry if that sounds a little overdramatic but it's how I feel, I think that's the truth). When I look back I can see a distinct moment when I entered secondary school (age 11) and felt the full weight of babylon/'the man'/whatever descend all around me, working me into a trance & abruptly removing the freedom I'd had as a child. I'm a sensitive soul and the preteen me couldn't handle it, and I was thrown into 6 or 7 years of OCD, anxiety and depression, because I'd lost the intuitive understanding of the now I'd had as a child.
LSD helped me snap out of that trance. It was responsible for what I would call my first mystical experience. I had a moment during my 3rd or 4th trip where I apprehended this pattern (it wasn't really that but that's the a good approximation), I didn't see it with my eyes or hear it with my ears, it came through a sense we don't use in everyday consciousness so I don't know what to call it. But when it came to me I had a moment (or a few moments more accurately) where I understood everything, this pattern allowed everything to click. Every single thing that had ever happened and will happen was understood as it's expression. Since learning about taoism I think it of it as the tao. I looked around me and everything was just one, it was all this tao.
I'd never felt existence in it's purity and power quite like this, it was completely astonishing and blissful. I realised that I don't experience the universe, the universe is the true self and it's experiencing me, the illusion faded and the universe was allowed a peak back onto itself, doing what it's always done, not with a "purpose" in the human sense, but in complete and perfect harmony, knowing exactly what it does but with no goal, just an uncontrollable unfolding - somewhere between an orgasm and a symphony. Our lives and everything we do are notes and movements of that symphony, the symphony that composes itself. It was of incredible benefit to me to see that, my mental problems were caused by a wrong view of reality and by undoing that I made remarkably fast improvement, and today I'm basically over those problems. I have had a mystical experience sober too, quite soon after that in the Santa Cruz mountains. Those experiences of reality left a powerful mark on my existence.
I haven't eradicated sadness, nor do i expect to, or even want to, that's an essential part of being a human being, it's an essential colour that makes up existence. Many philosophers see the despair inherent in human existence, Nietzsche saw life as a tragedy. But we all carry on existing - I think those moments of happiness are so powerful as to make all the suffering worth it.
Fast forward a couple of years to now, and Changa has entered my life. As anyone who's smoked it knows, it's close to impossible to communicate the experience (the new dimensions in particular - it's like trying to describe purple to a blind man). I'll probably write a proper trip report in another post. I've had 2 breakthroughs now and they have been amongst the most unutterably beautiful experiences of my life. I always knew I'd eventually get to DMT, and I'm thankful it was in the form of Changa. I haven't tried pure DMT yet, and I will one day, but I'm glad Changa found me first, it connects me to the earth and life itself in a way nothing else ever has. instead of machine elves and alines, on Changa I experience life spirits, earth goddesses and sometimes gods. There's a distinct female presence in all my trips. They're beautiful and they've shown me things I never thought possible, and things I never though impossible too (as in, it had never even occurred to me to think of these things as impossible, and now they're happening).
It is truly a gift. Unlike acid trips, I don't experience 'revelations' where I put together thoughts/feeling/sensations from everyday life in a new and profound way. It's rather a feeling that it leaves you with that's very difficult to express. The first time I broke through I felt like a part of my brain was awakened that had long been dormant. It's a feeling that stays with you. A deep feeling of existence. After my trips I find I can feel other people's existence much more powerfully. Everyone's essence spills out of them, and I see this whirling mixture of life all around me. Chagna to me is not an intellectual experience, I give in to a higher power on those trips, I'm not in control, I'm not really 'thinking.' The spirits know a lot more than me, they have amazing secrets that they just want to share, all I have to do is let them.
So that's why I'm here. To discuss the experience mostly. I think I'd like to extract one day too. Since my Changa trips I find I've been drawn to people who've also experienced it, it's much more satisfying to talk about it with other people who've also been there. So being part of a DMT forum should be fun. I don't know if I'll post very often but I look forward to any discussions I may have in the future with you. Peace x
I feel a bit weird posting an introduction of myself to people I don't know yet but I can understand why it's a good idea. And this forum looks really great so I would love to become a part of it
A bit about me, I'm 20 years old, male, philosophy student, with a life long obsession with probing as deeply as possible into the nature of reality and an experience of beauty in it's purest forms. To go beyond normal consciousness, to experience the sublime. This was always going to lead me to psychedelics. I also love philosophy and eastern philosophy especially very much. And music. I've found an increasingly satisfying understanding of reality and the existential problem of being a human over the last couple of years, from absorbing knowledge from the philosophical traditions of taoism, buddhism and hinduism, travel, which helped me loosen my mind and of course, psychedelics, which really helped my push my understanding of just how beautiful existence really is.
This came after a long period of depression in my teenage years up until I was 18, when I travelled to California for a few months (I'm from England) to work on farms and also happened to get quite into cannabis and lsd whilst out there. I had taken LSD when I was 16 and smoked weed from quite a while, but I was still heavily under the spell of maya - the spell cast by western culture as we leave childhood that prevents us from knowing our true selves & the majesty of existence, to keep the machine running (sorry if that sounds a little overdramatic but it's how I feel, I think that's the truth). When I look back I can see a distinct moment when I entered secondary school (age 11) and felt the full weight of babylon/'the man'/whatever descend all around me, working me into a trance & abruptly removing the freedom I'd had as a child. I'm a sensitive soul and the preteen me couldn't handle it, and I was thrown into 6 or 7 years of OCD, anxiety and depression, because I'd lost the intuitive understanding of the now I'd had as a child.
LSD helped me snap out of that trance. It was responsible for what I would call my first mystical experience. I had a moment during my 3rd or 4th trip where I apprehended this pattern (it wasn't really that but that's the a good approximation), I didn't see it with my eyes or hear it with my ears, it came through a sense we don't use in everyday consciousness so I don't know what to call it. But when it came to me I had a moment (or a few moments more accurately) where I understood everything, this pattern allowed everything to click. Every single thing that had ever happened and will happen was understood as it's expression. Since learning about taoism I think it of it as the tao. I looked around me and everything was just one, it was all this tao.
I'd never felt existence in it's purity and power quite like this, it was completely astonishing and blissful. I realised that I don't experience the universe, the universe is the true self and it's experiencing me, the illusion faded and the universe was allowed a peak back onto itself, doing what it's always done, not with a "purpose" in the human sense, but in complete and perfect harmony, knowing exactly what it does but with no goal, just an uncontrollable unfolding - somewhere between an orgasm and a symphony. Our lives and everything we do are notes and movements of that symphony, the symphony that composes itself. It was of incredible benefit to me to see that, my mental problems were caused by a wrong view of reality and by undoing that I made remarkably fast improvement, and today I'm basically over those problems. I have had a mystical experience sober too, quite soon after that in the Santa Cruz mountains. Those experiences of reality left a powerful mark on my existence.
I haven't eradicated sadness, nor do i expect to, or even want to, that's an essential part of being a human being, it's an essential colour that makes up existence. Many philosophers see the despair inherent in human existence, Nietzsche saw life as a tragedy. But we all carry on existing - I think those moments of happiness are so powerful as to make all the suffering worth it.
Fast forward a couple of years to now, and Changa has entered my life. As anyone who's smoked it knows, it's close to impossible to communicate the experience (the new dimensions in particular - it's like trying to describe purple to a blind man). I'll probably write a proper trip report in another post. I've had 2 breakthroughs now and they have been amongst the most unutterably beautiful experiences of my life. I always knew I'd eventually get to DMT, and I'm thankful it was in the form of Changa. I haven't tried pure DMT yet, and I will one day, but I'm glad Changa found me first, it connects me to the earth and life itself in a way nothing else ever has. instead of machine elves and alines, on Changa I experience life spirits, earth goddesses and sometimes gods. There's a distinct female presence in all my trips. They're beautiful and they've shown me things I never thought possible, and things I never though impossible too (as in, it had never even occurred to me to think of these things as impossible, and now they're happening).
It is truly a gift. Unlike acid trips, I don't experience 'revelations' where I put together thoughts/feeling/sensations from everyday life in a new and profound way. It's rather a feeling that it leaves you with that's very difficult to express. The first time I broke through I felt like a part of my brain was awakened that had long been dormant. It's a feeling that stays with you. A deep feeling of existence. After my trips I find I can feel other people's existence much more powerfully. Everyone's essence spills out of them, and I see this whirling mixture of life all around me. Chagna to me is not an intellectual experience, I give in to a higher power on those trips, I'm not in control, I'm not really 'thinking.' The spirits know a lot more than me, they have amazing secrets that they just want to share, all I have to do is let them.
So that's why I'm here. To discuss the experience mostly. I think I'd like to extract one day too. Since my Changa trips I find I've been drawn to people who've also experienced it, it's much more satisfying to talk about it with other people who've also been there. So being part of a DMT forum should be fun. I don't know if I'll post very often but I look forward to any discussions I may have in the future with you. Peace x
