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high++ dose aya to destory me

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greenmoss

greenmoss

Rising Star
Hi,

I have a high tolerance to many drugs. To be honest, I want to take aya to destroy me because I really am a abusive greedy monster. I mean, I really am a not the best.

Really, lets say I even take MDMA and turn into a new person, but only for that day. Its the same thing every time.

I would like the aya to completely destroy me.
What mixture may you recommend me please?

What should I take?
 
Well, you can take whatever you want at whatever dosages you want but they won't magically transform you into some new and improved human being. Aya will open up pathways and show you how things can be different, if you truly want them to be different, but only you can make effective changes in your life. If you feel that Aya will help you on your path, and it absolutely can, consider approaching it with some respect.

I feel that going into a large dose of Aya with the intention of wanting only to be destroyed and rebuilt through Aya alone, you may be asking for trouble. You could accidentally traumatize yourself and end up with something like PTSD, which would likely be the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.

Of course, these are just my thoughts and opinions, so feel free to completely ignore them. Just remember to be safe and also remember that the only thing that can make you less of an "abusive, greedy monster" is you. Good luck in your travels.
 
What if the ayahuasca destroys you, but only for that day? Would that suit your purpose?

Why must ayahuasca, mdma or any other thing external change you? Nothing is going to stick until you change yourself - as difficult as that may be.

Take care of yourself.
 
pitubo said:
What if the ayahuasca destroys you, but only for that day? Would that suit your purpose?

Why must ayahuasca, mdma or any other thing external change you? Nothing is going to stick until you change yourself - as difficult as that may be.

Take care of yourself.
Click to expand...

Well, if you look up peoples experiences and on how powerful it is. They give it to inmates in the south America.
 
The Grateful One said:
Well, you can take whatever you want at whatever dosages you want but they won't magically transform you into some new and improved human being. Aya will open up pathways and show you how things can be different, if you truly want them to be different, but only you can make effective changes in your life. If you feel that Aya will help you on your path, and it absolutely can, consider approaching it with some respect.

I feel that going into a large dose of Aya with the intention of wanting only to be destroyed and rebuilt through Aya alone, you may be asking for trouble. You could accidentally traumatize yourself and end up with something like PTSD, which would likely be the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.

Of course, these are just my thoughts and opinions, so feel free to completely ignore them. Just remember to be safe and also remember that the only thing that can make you less of an "abusive, greedy monster" is you. Good luck in your travels.
Click to expand...

Hi,

Thank you. Yes of course, I fully treat it with respect. I will fast and give offerings to the plant,etc and all that stuff.


Well anyway seriously, I'm really just really asking you could you name which plants are the strongest?
 
So you have self hate, and you probably hate that too.

Suppose aya tells you: you have to love yourself first, as you are, instead of hating yourself, and aya does that without destroying you.
Only when that step is completed, a course diversion is possible, aya resumes.

This is just an example of how things go in real, much more chances for that than the way you expect aya will treat you.

BTW, you commanding aya what to do? Gimme a break ;)
 
Jees said:
So you have self hate, and you probably hate that too.

Suppose aya tells you: you have to love yourself first, as you are, instead of hating yourself, and aya does that without destroying you.
Only when that step is completed, a course diversion is possible, aya resumes.

This is just an example of how things go in real, much more chances for that than the way you expect aya will treat you.

BTW, you commanding aya what to do? Gimme a break ;)
Click to expand...

Hi,

Thanks. OK I will love myself and practice medication and read lots and study all that.

But, I am taking it for it to destroy me. I don't want to command it to do anything and if I do, then good enough for me.
come on seriously.

May you recommend a maoi and the actual plant.
 
greenmoss said:
The Grateful One said:
Well, you can take whatever you want at whatever dosages you want but they won't magically transform you into some new and improved human being. Aya will open up pathways and show you how things can be different, if you truly want them to be different, but only you can make effective changes in your life. If you feel that Aya will help you on your path, and it absolutely can, consider approaching it with some respect.

I feel that going into a large dose of Aya with the intention of wanting only to be destroyed and rebuilt through Aya alone, you may be asking for trouble. You could accidentally traumatize yourself and end up with something like PTSD, which would likely be the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.

Of course, these are just my thoughts and opinions, so feel free to completely ignore them. Just remember to be safe and also remember that the only thing that can make you less of an "abusive, greedy monster" is you. Good luck in your travels.
Click to expand...

Hi,

Thank you. Yes of course, I fully treat it with respect. I will fast and give offerings to the plant,etc and all that stuff.


Well anyway seriously, I'm really just really asking you could you name which plants are the strongest?
Click to expand...

No plant is inherently "the strongest" as plant life seems to vary in alkaloid percentages to an extent. If you are hell bent on doing this, I would suggest reading through the following thread:

DMT & Harmalas: Dosages and administration (oral, smoking dmt, sublingual, snorting, etc..)
 
Drink 7g of syrian rue seed and smoke a hit of dmt and you might swear you died and came back.
The thing is, what you seem to be looking for, what you think you want out pf this experience,... it's like going on a road trip and wanting the scenery to change just for your eyes... you'll be sent wherever it damn well pleases ;)

seriously though, I'd recommend using acacia or mimosa and syrian rue seeds in a brew before ayahuasca, it is a bit easier to brew for the new shaman
I've written a guide here;

You should never go into a DMT experience with any expectations of it. It can be very different every time. Learn the plants you aim to use, then use them, and learn their spirits, and go from there. Do not simply wish to destroy yourself, that's treating the brew you aim to use for the task, the same way as an alcoholic drinks their spirits, the wrong way to go into it. However, the experience can be transformational and lifechanging, but only if you let it and make yourself in such a way subsequently afterwards ...

To the acacia, you already are nothing but sand and dust anyways.
 
who senses a car crash???:lol: :lol: :lol:

change come from within. change yourself with sustained effort and then take Aya as a reward for your hard work.
 
greenmoss said:
...Hi,
Thanks. OK I will love myself and practice medication and ...
Click to expand...
Re-programming your BIOS is not like a flick of a switch though.

You are not alone, many people come to this kind of forums with a skewed angle on the matter and that is not surprising in the society we have. Let that be a comfort feeling.

Til now you had a lot of criticism, also from me, but what you suggest is usually not the way things develop when people start working with the plants. That said, there is a chance it will work out as you suggest. How are the odds? Nobody knows.

It is true some alcoholics trow the bottle away for ever after just 1 aya session, it happens. Then there are many others where it simple doesn't turn out like that, even after 50 aya sessions. You see, its very uncertain, and because of that uncertain-ness most people here advice to just dump ANY pre-conditioning, expectation, whatever, and go with the plants and just see. We know it is not suited for everyone, keep that in mind.

If you agree in leaving expectations, that means also to leave the heading for the destruction theory. Doing that, chances for it still exist and might work out so, but as said: nobody knows. Note that many experience no-real-depths on their first aya sessions.

If you do feel to continue with the destruction theory, as like intuition calls you, against our "general" advise, skip the car crash option ;) , and like said (by LibertforAll) drink some mega rue tea and I guess you don't need any additional tryptamines, for starters. Nothing in the world more simple than a rue tea, and I Guarantee you a thoroughly destroying psychedelic hell. It might work out for your purposes eventually, it might not.

You're in for a Power Plant, like boot-in-ya-face-I-destroy-you? Rue is your friend and the chances for a subtle session (like aya does by time) are really low to none. It does something to people on a deep level, a real master plant, often looked down on by aya-adepts, but man, it's the real deal. Above 5 grams, grinded, steeped, decant, this is not a toy!

Just some ideas.
 
greenmoss said:
Hi,

I have a high tolerance to many drugs. To be honest, I want to take aya to destroy me because I really am a abusive greedy monster. I mean, I really am a not the best.

Really, lets say I even take MDMA and turn into a new person, but only for that day. Its the same thing every time.

I would like the aya to completely destroy me.
What mixture may you recommend me please?

What should I take?
Click to expand...


I understand your point of view, with wanting to be something different. But i want you to really ask yourself. Is that really what you want? Its what you say, but do you really mean it? If you truly wanted to be something other than you are. you would be already. you would make the conscious choices to change your actions. nothing is predestined, no matter the situation how you act and what you do ARE ENTIRELY YOUR CHOICES AND DESIRES. When people do something and say they dont know why they did it... THATS A LIE.. to themselves more than other people. The simple answer is thats what they wanted to do.. (unless you were being actively forced by another person) (my opinion)

:!: You need to learn to let go, of everything your holding on to and projecting on to. If you jump into Aya blind like that you may not recover properly. try dmt first before aya... And evaluate why you are really doing this...

You will never be DESTROYED... it's not possible, but you can be added too... If/when you get that things will be different.

best of luck
 
Syrian rue tea can be like coffee
...
Or like an intense trip of strange sensation with heavy body load and ataxia + nausea if you try to walk.

Most agree it is not pleasant to use in high doses. I hardly drink it 'freshly' brewed anymore, since I began fermenting brews.

But a shot of rue can bring ego death, very easily, especially with DMT.
It isn't pleasant though and going thru it can be very transformational just for the fact you can't wait for the trip to end so you can 'go home'
 
Yeah LibertyforAll I was thinking he was ready to pay the price you mention, to bring the offer, to sacrifice all comfort, to obtain thorough results. In that regard aya isn't exactly your fluffy comfy too.
 
I would recommend saving up some cash and finding a quality center or ceremony to work with. Aya can be absolutely brutal and will do exactly what you're asking, but the problem is without the right context it can be extremely disorienting. My first aya trip left me more confused than resolved. It wasn't until months of taking other psychedelics and ultimately revisiting the experience that I was able to get anything useful out of it. Once i did however, it was a game changer. But having the shaman, community, music, etc were the only things that made that possible
 
Most effective way to make changes in your life with Ayahuasca is not to do a huge dose and "destroy yourself".... That will probably not be very effective. What most people get good results with is dedicated work with the plant medicines.

Truth is - you have to make the changes and the plants cannot do it for you. This is why a single dose wont really do much - but more frequent dedicated work lets you work on things till you get to where you need to be.

What I think would probably work best for you is having a dedicated retreat outside of your daily routine. Working on yourself for a few weeks straight with the medicine. Ayahuasca or San Pedro would be equally effective for this.

I know many people who just tried to do the largest doses possible.... Most of them did not get the results they wanted until they switched their thinking and started working with the "right" dose instead of the "largest" dose, and switched their thinking from "the plants will fix me" to "I will fix myself with some help from the plants."

When you say that MDMA makes you the way you want to be for a day, but then you are back to being a monster after.... TO me is sounds like you are seeing the way you want to be, but then deciding to act horrible anyways..... If you dont change that, then no amount of psychedelics will help you. They can keep showing you the same thing over and over, but if you dont do anything with that, then you wont see results.
 
travsha said:
Most effective way to make changes in your life with Ayahuasca is not to do a huge dose and "destroy yourself".... That will probably not be very effective. What most people get good results with is dedicated work with the plant medicines.

Truth is - you have to make the changes and the plants cannot do it for you. This is why a single dose wont really do much - but more frequent dedicated work lets you work on things till you get to where you need to be.

What I think would probably work best for you is having a dedicated retreat outside of your daily routine. Working on yourself for a few weeks straight with the medicine. Ayahuasca or San Pedro would be equally effective for this.

I know many people who just tried to do the largest doses possible.... Most of them did not get the results they wanted until they switched their thinking and started working with the "right" dose instead of the "largest" dose, and switched their thinking from "the plants will fix me" to "I will fix myself with some help from the plants."

When you say that MDMA makes you the way you want to be for a day, but then you are back to being a monster after.... TO me is sounds like you are seeing the way you want to be, but then deciding to act horrible anyways..... If you dont change that, then no amount of psychedelics will help you. They can keep showing you the same thing over and over, but if you dont do anything with that, then you wont see results.
Click to expand...

I don't know... Large doses did something for me other doses could not. But agreed, it wasn't a magic flip of the switch. It was a traumatic few experiences that took months to pick up the pieces of and make into something useful.
 
greenmoss said:
The Grateful One said:
Well, you can take whatever you want at whatever dosages you want but they won't magically transform you into some new and improved human being. Aya will open up pathways and show you how things can be different, if you truly want them to be different, but only you can make effective changes in your life. If you feel that Aya will help you on your path, and it absolutely can, consider approaching it with some respect.

I feel that going into a large dose of Aya with the intention of wanting only to be destroyed and rebuilt through Aya alone, you may be asking for trouble. You could accidentally traumatize yourself and end up with something like PTSD, which would likely be the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.

Of course, these are just my thoughts and opinions, so feel free to completely ignore them. Just remember to be safe and also remember that the only thing that can make you less of an "abusive, greedy monster" is you. Good luck in your travels.
Click to expand...

Hi,

Thank you. Yes of course, I fully treat it with respect. I will fast and give offerings to the plant,etc and all that stuff.


Well anyway seriously, I'm really just really asking you could you name which plants are the strongest?
Click to expand...

Hey everybody
Seriously. Let´s let the guy alone and tell him how to get destroyed. Didn´t you realize he´s goig to fast and give offerings to the plant and ALL that stuff?
If you don´t show respect for people I hihgly doubt you be able to show respect for the plant.
Greenmoss please do a trip report if you go for it anyway. If you don´t do so, I´ll assume you finally got the destruction trip you wanted. :thumb_up:
 
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