HolographicDNA
Rising Star
I have been exploring the pages of the DMT nexus from afar before I decided to become a member. Generally, I would use google and, more often than not, the DMT Nexus had the most helpful relevant advice on psychedelics, especially DMT. From extraction teks to topics you typically wouldn't see covered by most forums, like how to deal with a negative experience in a clear rational manner. Above all , most people seemed enthusiastic about improving the Nexus community and were well informed if they chose to reply to a post that needed attention.
My own psychedelic journey began with psilocybin, at the age of 21 and remains an overwhelmingly positive experience to this day. What I didn't know at the time was how similiar DMT was to psilocybin, actually I dont remember hearing about DMT aside from in a book I had read a year or so before titled "The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test" where it was mentioned briefly as a psychedelic that had the effect of shooting your conciousness out of a cannon.
Previous to the experience with psilocybin I had been reading books in my teenage years like Awakening the Buddha Within By: Lama Surya Das as well as "Awakening Spirits" by: Tom Brown. Even though I realized meditation improved my life, for some reason I found it hard to develop the discipline to put in the practice needed to reap a lot of the benefits. Though, I saw the potential and it seemed to feel like coming home to something authentically me.
At the age of 23 I discovered some Terrence Mckenna Lectures and was fascinated by the way he explained things. At first I was struck by his voice which in itself sounded like an alien suffering from a stuffed nose; However, the insightful way he lectured eclipsed any annoyance I had about his voice. Through Terrence I heard stories of DMT, self transforming machine elves, and what he described as a shockingly, beautiful and intensely interesting head space. It would be years before I actually had a chance to try DMT because of it's rarity but, I filed it under one of the experiences I should like to have before I kicked the bucket.
Between the ages of 23 and 29 I became entangled in a relationship with opiates in which proved to be a harsh teacher through pain. I had gone through cancer at 19 and knew well the escape that they could offer. Looking back I never thought I would sink as far as I did meanwhile the opiates kept me blind to my authentic self.
At 29 I had the opportunity to get some good LSD. I took it alone one evening and after that night, it was clear I had a lot of work to do. It revealed things to me about myself that were burried so far beneath the unconcious that I feel that the dose was in a sense heaven sent. I began to feel more comfortable in myself, and remembered that even though life without opiates was filled with pain, if I were to dedicate my life to a path of truth and fill that life with hobbies that were authentic to me instead of running all the time from my problems as well as feeding the addiction that had my life in its grip, happiness with a lot of work was still possible. How grateful I am for that insight. How grateful I am for believing in the power of healing.
It would be about 2 months later when I got a hold of some DMT. I had done plenty of research on it but nothing could prepare me for what it was I would experience upon inhaling my first three hits. Although I wouldn't say I broke through the first time, I definitively got a taste of what the molecule had to offer. My opiate addiction was gradually falling away and being tapered down, not to mention my attachment to it had miraculously left. Finally I invested in a small butane torch and I had my first breakthrough. Although it wasn't filled with any entities it had this impossible unexpected multi dimensional ethereal quality to it that words fall short of.
I gave myself a brief 2 week break before obtaining more DMT. One thing I found, was that I enjoyed smoking in the morning, while the sunlight streamed in through my windows the best. All the while I would surf the Nexus forums on and off, for anything I experienced I felt I needed advice on. There was never a hint of a bad trip in all these experiences. However, I did start to feel a prescence or several of them that would occasionally flash out of the corner of my eye when coming down. I wasn't scared of by these occurences although they, like everything in that realm seemed to have some kind of intelligence.
It wasn't until this last batch of white spice that I would experience something unmistakably malevolent. I had tripped 3 times prior on this spice without a hitch. I saw multi jeweled entities combined with beautiful fractals and information perhaps glyphs and numbers floating at high speed around me.
The trip that challenged me the most occured 4 nights ago. I had some extra time on my hands and after some light reading decided to load up my pipe not expecting anything out of the ordinary. When the DMT came on some 3d cartoons fluttered before my eyes then without warning I flew very fast through familiar places.
Not before long, I found myself in a room that was full color and looked as if it were far underground. A demon was clearly in front of me laughing at my confusion. I saw under him were a bunch of disfigured faces that were stacked on top of each other writhing in pain. After making sure I was watching, this demon began to reach out, grab one of these faces and rip it apart with it's teeth, as though he were enjoying some delicacy. My reaction was to sort of annoy the creature by focusing my attention elsewhere. The content of the trip caught me so off guard my heart rate jumped up, which only exasperated the situation. However, I did not want to let this thing get the best of me so I continued to see the trip through concentrating on lowering my pulse and mindfull breathing. I had no previous experience to draw on, so I had no defense for this kind of thing. I intuitively grasped, that the more I let my fear take over, the more his prescence would grow.
I have this place I go to when I meditate that always brings me peace. I visualized this place. He did not invade the place but seemed to be trying to distract my attention back to the negative. As my fear began to subside I pictured the beach, Mountains I had hiked as a child, places of strong spiritual power. They brought peace and soon enough the visions seemed to follow the same path, only after the hellish intrusion calmed down.
After some careful research the past few days I came to several conclusions.
1. These dark entities were a projection of my own ego.
2. By virtue of entering the DMT hyperspace you by nature open yourself up in some very profound ways, I read that if you were sick or going through a hard time or had issues with drugs in the past this could open a portal for these things to enter.
3. Another guess was that these things had been here for sometime due to my drug use and the casualties it caused along the way. Perhaps the best way to avoid these lower vibrational parasites would be to grow stronger on my own before taking another journey.
That experience is etched into my mind and dont think it was a mistake that it occured. Careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater I still maintain the attitude that it was part of a larger lesson should I choose to see it through will reveal a lot about my inner self . In contrast, I had seen some bizarre things on mushrooms but never had those things had such a pushy prescence and seemed to take genuine joy in my fear.
I have wanted to talk to a shaman about this, or defer to an expert, but alas, I don't know anyone besides my cousins who posess knowledge that surpasses my own from years of respectively taking psychedelics. Unfortunately I have been unable to reach either of them.
I still believe that this molecule holds something for me and am not sure where I stand on whether it is actual death we experience or just another reality that coexists with our own. These answers perhaps are not answerable. I have continued to meditate and train my mind as I believe any path worth taking contains its pitfalls and challenges.
Several days after I experienced this trip through darkness, I contracted a respiratory infection that might be bronchitis. I mention this only because my immune system would have been run down at the time of the experience.
Thank you for reading this introduction! I would like to contribute to your community by sharing my experiences along the way and any knowledge I have picked up throughout my 30 years on this earth, I see this as the beginning of my Journey. I hope to continue to learn, continue to experience, and continue to receive everything with an open heart.
Much Love
My own psychedelic journey began with psilocybin, at the age of 21 and remains an overwhelmingly positive experience to this day. What I didn't know at the time was how similiar DMT was to psilocybin, actually I dont remember hearing about DMT aside from in a book I had read a year or so before titled "The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test" where it was mentioned briefly as a psychedelic that had the effect of shooting your conciousness out of a cannon.
Previous to the experience with psilocybin I had been reading books in my teenage years like Awakening the Buddha Within By: Lama Surya Das as well as "Awakening Spirits" by: Tom Brown. Even though I realized meditation improved my life, for some reason I found it hard to develop the discipline to put in the practice needed to reap a lot of the benefits. Though, I saw the potential and it seemed to feel like coming home to something authentically me.
At the age of 23 I discovered some Terrence Mckenna Lectures and was fascinated by the way he explained things. At first I was struck by his voice which in itself sounded like an alien suffering from a stuffed nose; However, the insightful way he lectured eclipsed any annoyance I had about his voice. Through Terrence I heard stories of DMT, self transforming machine elves, and what he described as a shockingly, beautiful and intensely interesting head space. It would be years before I actually had a chance to try DMT because of it's rarity but, I filed it under one of the experiences I should like to have before I kicked the bucket.
Between the ages of 23 and 29 I became entangled in a relationship with opiates in which proved to be a harsh teacher through pain. I had gone through cancer at 19 and knew well the escape that they could offer. Looking back I never thought I would sink as far as I did meanwhile the opiates kept me blind to my authentic self.
At 29 I had the opportunity to get some good LSD. I took it alone one evening and after that night, it was clear I had a lot of work to do. It revealed things to me about myself that were burried so far beneath the unconcious that I feel that the dose was in a sense heaven sent. I began to feel more comfortable in myself, and remembered that even though life without opiates was filled with pain, if I were to dedicate my life to a path of truth and fill that life with hobbies that were authentic to me instead of running all the time from my problems as well as feeding the addiction that had my life in its grip, happiness with a lot of work was still possible. How grateful I am for that insight. How grateful I am for believing in the power of healing.
It would be about 2 months later when I got a hold of some DMT. I had done plenty of research on it but nothing could prepare me for what it was I would experience upon inhaling my first three hits. Although I wouldn't say I broke through the first time, I definitively got a taste of what the molecule had to offer. My opiate addiction was gradually falling away and being tapered down, not to mention my attachment to it had miraculously left. Finally I invested in a small butane torch and I had my first breakthrough. Although it wasn't filled with any entities it had this impossible unexpected multi dimensional ethereal quality to it that words fall short of.
I gave myself a brief 2 week break before obtaining more DMT. One thing I found, was that I enjoyed smoking in the morning, while the sunlight streamed in through my windows the best. All the while I would surf the Nexus forums on and off, for anything I experienced I felt I needed advice on. There was never a hint of a bad trip in all these experiences. However, I did start to feel a prescence or several of them that would occasionally flash out of the corner of my eye when coming down. I wasn't scared of by these occurences although they, like everything in that realm seemed to have some kind of intelligence.
It wasn't until this last batch of white spice that I would experience something unmistakably malevolent. I had tripped 3 times prior on this spice without a hitch. I saw multi jeweled entities combined with beautiful fractals and information perhaps glyphs and numbers floating at high speed around me.
The trip that challenged me the most occured 4 nights ago. I had some extra time on my hands and after some light reading decided to load up my pipe not expecting anything out of the ordinary. When the DMT came on some 3d cartoons fluttered before my eyes then without warning I flew very fast through familiar places.
Not before long, I found myself in a room that was full color and looked as if it were far underground. A demon was clearly in front of me laughing at my confusion. I saw under him were a bunch of disfigured faces that were stacked on top of each other writhing in pain. After making sure I was watching, this demon began to reach out, grab one of these faces and rip it apart with it's teeth, as though he were enjoying some delicacy. My reaction was to sort of annoy the creature by focusing my attention elsewhere. The content of the trip caught me so off guard my heart rate jumped up, which only exasperated the situation. However, I did not want to let this thing get the best of me so I continued to see the trip through concentrating on lowering my pulse and mindfull breathing. I had no previous experience to draw on, so I had no defense for this kind of thing. I intuitively grasped, that the more I let my fear take over, the more his prescence would grow.
I have this place I go to when I meditate that always brings me peace. I visualized this place. He did not invade the place but seemed to be trying to distract my attention back to the negative. As my fear began to subside I pictured the beach, Mountains I had hiked as a child, places of strong spiritual power. They brought peace and soon enough the visions seemed to follow the same path, only after the hellish intrusion calmed down.
After some careful research the past few days I came to several conclusions.
1. These dark entities were a projection of my own ego.
2. By virtue of entering the DMT hyperspace you by nature open yourself up in some very profound ways, I read that if you were sick or going through a hard time or had issues with drugs in the past this could open a portal for these things to enter.
3. Another guess was that these things had been here for sometime due to my drug use and the casualties it caused along the way. Perhaps the best way to avoid these lower vibrational parasites would be to grow stronger on my own before taking another journey.
That experience is etched into my mind and dont think it was a mistake that it occured. Careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater I still maintain the attitude that it was part of a larger lesson should I choose to see it through will reveal a lot about my inner self . In contrast, I had seen some bizarre things on mushrooms but never had those things had such a pushy prescence and seemed to take genuine joy in my fear.
I have wanted to talk to a shaman about this, or defer to an expert, but alas, I don't know anyone besides my cousins who posess knowledge that surpasses my own from years of respectively taking psychedelics. Unfortunately I have been unable to reach either of them.
I still believe that this molecule holds something for me and am not sure where I stand on whether it is actual death we experience or just another reality that coexists with our own. These answers perhaps are not answerable. I have continued to meditate and train my mind as I believe any path worth taking contains its pitfalls and challenges.
Several days after I experienced this trip through darkness, I contracted a respiratory infection that might be bronchitis. I mention this only because my immune system would have been run down at the time of the experience.
Thank you for reading this introduction! I would like to contribute to your community by sharing my experiences along the way and any knowledge I have picked up throughout my 30 years on this earth, I see this as the beginning of my Journey. I hope to continue to learn, continue to experience, and continue to receive everything with an open heart.
Much Love
