Crap...I'm on the launch pad, fuel looks good, ignition....huge first pull...large cloud of smoke...minor geometric patterns with my eyes closed...second pull...not enough...second stage failure!!! No cough, gag, nothin...I pussed...no breakthrough, nothin but a heavy, lethargic feeling, lips are numb? Why the F$%k are my lips numb? I couldn't get myself to try a third time. I feel like a chicken shit now. Bailed at the worst time. I was that close. The rest of the world watches and shakes their collective head...back to the drawing board. Maybe in another hour???? Or should I ???? Maybe I need another to mind me while I'm gone....

