I invented ... The cider pill

[ajscent]

Hi all

After months in my Laboritory ( I'm no Shuligin but I am getting there ) I have finally done it....

I have done the impossible and opened the door to what may possibly be perminant enlightenment , but it is not as you would imagine.

Two years ago I began with a dream , to distil and compress 100 cans of high strength English cider into a pill. I knew that the feeling I had after 5 pints was a very altered state .. What if I could drink 100 pints? Or rather ingest 100 pints of cider from a pill the size of an asprin. Nothing could have prepared me for this experience . Stronger than mescaline , stronger than a thumbprint , stronger than ten tokes of dmt. This is the holy grail ....

So I say before I go any further ... I will not be printing my technique for extracting one hundred pints and putting the liquid into a pill the size of an aspirin. Yes sure Shuligin wrote his recipes , but to be honest with you , it is baby talk compared to the effects and realities I encountered. I will now share with you my one and only experience of ... The cider pill.

It was a Friday night and I came out of my lab which is in my garden shed into my kitchen. In my finger tips I held the pill . I stared at it with wonder , not knowing what the effects of 100 pints of 9.7 per cent cider would be.... What would happen to me ?

I took a glass of water and put the cider pill onto my tongue. "Ow" I said as it began to burn like acid in my mouth. Quickly I washed it down. Within seconds I began to feel pissed , like I had never felt pissed before. I felt an immediate rush of anger and wanted to fight ... Anything or anyone. I felt invincible. I began smashing up my kitchen , destroying anything I could.

Then I fell to the floor and the cider pill really began to work it's magic , I felt at this point I had drunk 25 pints , and I truly wanted to die , my stomach hurt but all I could think about was a curry , I wanted a curry. The room span , and span and then span a bit more. As it span I could see a vision of an Indian mystic and as I looked closer he was cooking up the most amazing curry I had ever seen. Then he dissapeared and I was at a football match and I had a fight with the police. Then I was shagging loads of girls with big tits wearing mini skirts.

It was at this mystical point with the cider pill that I didn't think it could get any stronger. But after ten to five teen minutes I began to peak. It was like I had the full effects of 100 pints of cider hit me.

I went numb as my body entered "ciderspace" ... It's like hyperspace but far more intense.

I was stood infront of an apple tree and Adam and Eve were stood infront of me.... They were thrilled to see me ... And said " see you have done it , unravelled the mystery of the world told in the bible , it was never about anything but cider ! You have the truth now , it is in the sacred apple my friend , not these other things people speak of like dmt , it's the simple apple of life .... Let us now show you enlightenment as you have tasted from the fruit of life "

What happened next guys was unspeakable , hard to describe , I went through all the things dmt speaks of , the meeting of god , voyages through the void , having eternal onesness ... But I went to the next level . The cider pushed me that bit further guys .... I met with a being who was behind the Big Bang , but he then showed me what happened before that point and I may explain at a further point , but right now I'm the only one who's been told it. And as the inventor of the cider pill , I can't tell you yet.

Further than any other substance can take you. And I was told that it is perminant. There is no comedown from the cider pill. Just perminant enlightenment.

So it's six weeks later now and I feel amazing , like I am constantly pissed , the cider pill has destroyed so many brain cells that my sense of self is completely gone, I feel no center , I have merged with cider gods and walk the path of a Viking. I walk the earth as the inventor of the cider pill and am confident that others will tread the same path.

As mentioned above I can't give out my formula for condensing 100 cans of strong lager into a pill but I know that it is possible , anything is possible , even the impossible.

I bid you warm greetings , the legend of the cider pill is REAL

 

[Mz.Gypzy]

Wat Dafuq? :lol:




Sorry, couldn't help myself.



Ciderspace.... :shock:

 

[Hieronymous]

Then I fell to the floor and the cider pill really began to work it's magic , I felt at this point I had drunk 25 pints , and I truly wanted to die , my stomach hurt but all I could think about was a curry , I wanted a curry. The room span , and span and then span a bit more. As it span I could see a vision of an Indian mystic and as I looked closer he was cooking up the most amazing curry I had ever seen. Then he dissapeared and I was at a football match and I had a fight with the police. Then I was shagging loads of girls with big tits wearing mini skirts.

I had a night like that once too, I reckon I drank at least 25 pints. Except I had the curry after the football match and the fight with the police was after I got kicked out of the brothel where I'd shagged the girls.

 

[3rdI]

can I vape it off some foil???

 

[sakana]

Congrats. Your next mission is to condense 100 bottles of buckfast into a pill. Report back when the task is complete for your rewarding reward.

 

[DoingKermit]

Condensing loads of alcohol into a pill... urban myth.

I did find your story amusing though.

 

[anrchy]

Condensing loads of alcohol into a pill... urban myth.

I did find your story amusing though.

No man it's reeaall. Didn't you read his post?!

I can't wait for the cider Tek!

 

[ajscent]

Report
Dose - 1 cider pill containing 100 pints of 9.7per cent cider
Time 11am

So yeah I administered a cider pill to my friend today.

A1 experience and he is also now perminately enlightened.

Both users experienced almost identical revelations which suggests a continuity to the experience and an almost Erie revelation from Adam once again.

I will skip to "Kevin's" cider pill peak experience.

" I was suddenly there in the garden of Eden , and Adam was stood under an apple tree with a completely fit Eve. He welcomed me warmly and said "ah another traveller . Look at the tree what do you see ? "

I said "an apple tree bruv "

"No look closer ... "

And then it hit me , it was an apple tree with a snake on it. And with the cider rushing round my brain I came accross a full insight into what the vision was telling me. SNAKEBITE . I had to tell my friend to make a snakebite pill. 50 cans of cider mixed with 50 cans of strong lager.

Adam grinned at me ... " go on my son , that's it , get proper sorted. You bin to "ciderspace" now u gonna av a bitta "Snakeyspace"

Adam picked an apple off the tree and handed it to me , go on he egged me on , have a bite. I bit the apple and was propelled like I had done 100 cider pills. The snake was dancing about and eve was mashed up and so was Adam , we had a proper rave .

Adam proceeded to tell me all the universe had been invented from cider pills. All of the world had been drempt into being from cider and the reason that the world was in a state now was because at a low dose of say 4/5 pints the brain suffered , it became misserable because it began its awakening then closed down , and this misery caused the drinker to become frustrated and depreseed.

The creator himself invented the cider pills for all sentient beings to awaken from them and he used them himself , now get this part...the creator lived on earth , he had assumed human form and mixed with mankind unassumingly by working in a call centre in Wales and went by the name Alex Bennett. The creator was here on earth !

My friend came down from ciderspace back into this reality and opened his eyes , beaming, and his story flowed from his lips.

Ok so this was the second person now to have tried the cider pills. And to have brought back the information of the Snakeyspace.

I have been in my lab mixing up the ingredients for the next pill.

To anyone who wants to try this at home , you need to walk the path , become the master chemist. Study the ancient alchemy. I am not going to tell you how to do it , but will reveal how I learnt how to do it. I went to the British museum in London and read the inscriptions on the ancient Egyptian tablets and Sumerian tablets kept there. I had brought my ipad along with me and used it as a translating device. I was stunned at the mathematical procedure outlined clearly for the making of the ultimate consciousness expansion tool , the cider pill , or as it was named in the texts " Eve's gift".

I urge anyone who is truly interested to go the British museum and study the 5000 year old texts to discover this ancient recipee.