I Though I Died/REK, White Spice

[Mel Angel]

I recently got Bestine (n-heptane), and did the REK to get pure white spice. I want to make this as short as possible because I'm still shook up and don't feel like typing; but I have to tell people who would understand. Basically, I left my body and I thought I was dead. I smoked two stupidly, giant hits of white spice and killed both hits; I was in my car, in my driveway.

The first 30 seconds were sort of like a typical dmt experience but much more intense...with crazy visions that I can't even remember, but from what I remember it was very blurry, hazy and bright; it was hazy probably because I just forgot.

But then something happened, I couldn't process what happened and forgot I smoked the dmt. I jumped out of my car, in a extreme panic thinking that I died somehow but couldn't for the life of me remember how I died. My body started pacing back and forth on my driveway...it felt like I was a piece of meat in an empty vessel... for what felt like hours, pacing back and forth, barely able to process my environment and surroundings I just continued to panic. Then I started to recall what happened and just waited to wake up. I almost started crying, it was so scary. I didn't realize it could be so messed up.

 

[Super Radical]

For DMT the set and the setting are both important. But think of what this experience had to teach you. How do you view your life now and how did you before? Has anything changed or not?
What do you think led to those thoughts?

But at least now you know that you won't die from the spice a car accident maybe, but not the stuff itself.

 

[Mister_Niles]

Geez! Sounds awful, and dangerous. your lucky you didn't wander into the road or something. How much did you smoke?

 

[Mel Angel]

For DMT the set and the setting are both important. But think of what this experience had to teach you. How do you view your life now and how did you before? Has anything changed or not?
What do you think led to those thoughts?

But at least now you know that you won't die from the spice a car accident maybe, but not the stuff itself.

I just went to my car to crank the AC because it was hot today. Maybe being in the car freaked me out, thinking I died in car wreck. I had this weird feeling as I struggled to open the car door. Like I was leaving the spot where I died actually. This was different than the other times because I was so confused and couldn't think. I didn't know what happened. The other times I knew I just smoked dmt and enjoyed myself. Maybe it's because it was white and stronger.

I really don't know what to make of this experience, other than I need to reevaluate my used of the substance. I almost never want to do it again. I know that feeling will pass. I just wigged out I think. Is is supposed to be that intense?

 

[Mel Angel]

In response to amount. I would guess 50mg. There was some left over white spice melted in to the steel wool, and 30mg of puffy white crystals on top. I took huge hits and held them in too.

 

[Super Radical]

It can be that intense. I've certainly had trips when I've completely gotten lost just in the time it took to go from sitting to lying back, and ended up having a horrible trip where I was just grabbing at everything trying to find reality. And I've also had moments while tripping on DMT and other things where I had to make myself realize I wasn't dreaming or where I had completely forgotten the past hour, etc... That's why setting is so important, you need to be somewhere where you can't hurt yourself if that does happen.

I find that if I smoke dmt near a computer I have a tendency to do things on the computer while tripping, and then completely end up being confused or lost by what I did. So watch out for that

 

[Felnik]

That white stuff can be super strong.

But in a car ?

I,m not sure you knew what you were dealing with here .
But it sounds like you do now .

 

[3rdI]

Is is supposed to be that intense?

Really??
You havent been paying attention have you:lol:

 

[Mel Angel]

In response to 3rdI,

I read some things that sounded pretty insane...that had consistencies with near death experiences (NDE) here on the Nexus and on other forums; but myself, have never had trips on dmt, that had NDE like qualities. The only conclusion I can draw is... the white spice is different than the yellow. I also think that doing the REK with the n-heptane gave me pure white spice with out of this world qualities.

Truly though, at the moment I opened the car door, I didn't know what happened or how I got there. I felt awful and terrified, thinking that there is no other explanation for what I was feeling other than that I was dead.

As I got out of my car, I couldn't feel or see my body walking, as if I was a ghost pacing back and forth from my car to my eerily dark, closed-shut, garage door, struggling to come to terms about my recent demise. After what felt like hours, I finally started to remember what happened. As far as how many minutes, earth time, this ordeal was...I'd say 10-20 minutes. It was much longer than tripping with yellow spice. The white spice was different in every way: visuals, intensity, duration, etcetera. Once I came back to realty, I went back inside my car and turned off the engine, grabbed my things, locked the car door, then went inside my house and started this thread.

 

[3rdI]

I think you can consider yourself well and truly hyper-slapped

Maybe a smaller dose and a nicer setting next time, that DMT is a crazy one.

 

[○]

Lay back, try to relax, breathe, and keep your eyes closed until its through.

In those higher-dosage realms, there's never much say in the matter.

Welcome back and I'm glad you had such a profound experience. It happens to the best of us for sure. Take time, integrate, meditate, read, listen to some good music, talk to us like-minded folk, compose your Self and remain steadfast. :thumb_up:

Yes...it can be THAT intense....and then some! hehe You'll be just fine n dandy though. It takes time to process something of that magnitude once you go balls-to-the-wall with dosage/hits/methods. Next time though..if the situation arises once again where you start to panic...attempt or simply try to breathe or focus on something in all the beautiful madness...it helps...at least for me. And keeeep still and keeeep your eyes closed until it's passed. Just always remember....IT WILL END.

 

[Sky Motion]

Try your bed next time, now you know what you're dealing with..hopefully.

 

[Mel Angel]

It would of helped if I had a friend or something to remind me that I smoked dmt. Sort of like in the movie Inception, how they had objects to remind them if they were dreaming or if they were awake.

Right after I took the second, final hit, I remember seeing my mom by the front door, near the garage door. She saw me in the car, wondering if I was leaving to go somewhere but I just waved at her like I was about to come inside soon. I still knew what was going on, sort of, at this point in time. Then I laid back down in my drivers seat with the AC blasting, closed my eyes and started tripping...saw some crazy visuals for few minutes, earth time, then I opened my eyes looked around me and just suddenly forgot everything, and this was the moment where I panicked and was about to open the car door and proceed to freak out.

I didn't really elaborate on this but it wasn't easy to open my car door and get out. I think I struggled for minute trying to escape. Even with my eyes open, everything was hard to see and focus on. I remember trying to adjust my pants and belt, which is like a reflex almost... something that I always do when I get out of my car...when my fingers grasped my belt..it was at this point I realized I was no longer in my earthly body. I just kept touching my clothes, my body, and couldn't see or feel my body or my clothing. Pretty weird stuff.

 

[evil804]

 

[DisEmboDied]

For me, having a good trip to override a bad trip always works. I have thought myself that I would never do it again after having a dying experience, but then had the most beautiful experience ever the next time. That is what I suggest.

 

[tele]

I almost started crying, it was so scary. I didn't realize it could be so messed up.

Do you remember when I told you it has the other side, too?

Never do it in a place like your car...

 

[Mel Angel]

Yeah, tele...I remember. Before though, with the other experiences I didn't get completely dissolved like I did with the white spice.

I haven't done it again since. I'm still trying to process that experience. I realize now, that I was about to actually truly breakthrough the moment I panicked and thought I was dead. I wish at that moment I remembered that I wasn't really dead and it was dmt.
Better luck next time, I guess.

Is there always a complete ego-death, with the white spice? Also, the visuals were so intense and fast moving. I know they were awesome, but cannot remember anything now.

 

[tele]

Yeah, tele...I remember. Before though, with the other experiences I didn't get completely dissolved like I did with the white spice.

I haven't done it again since. I'm still trying to process that experience. I realize now, that I was about to actually truly breakthrough the moment I panicked and thought I was dead. I wish at that moment I remembered that I wasn't really dead and it was dmt.
Better luck next time, I guess.

Is there always a complete ego-death, with the white spice? Also, the visuals were so intense and fast moving. I know they were awesome, but cannot remember anything now.

I believe you emphasize the difference between colored and white spice too much, after all the color is only small amount of the weight, and the rest is the same DMT. It's a different story if the color comes from noticeable impurities.
For me orange DMT seems to have the most intense effects at times. But I believe it all has to do with how much enters your brain.

I believe also that the death is only a thought that arises to the mind after such intense dimension shift(or whatever one wants to call it) for someone who's relatively new to hyperspace, annihilation of the normal perception can lead to person deluding him/herself that one has died.

 

[Mel Angel]

You sure about the color not making much difference for weight, because I lost more than half the weight before doing two REK with n-heptane? Also going from slightly yellow to snow white seems to loose between 20-40%. I went from 4.15g of slight yellow to just below 3g of snow white spice. The left over material from the REK, is a brown/gold, waxy looking substance that probably still has dmt in it, along with oils and other materials from the bark.

 

[Mel Angel]

Also tele, forgot to mention...I agree that it absolutely matters how much spice enters your brain...it matters much more than the color. But I did notice a noticeable difference in the experience. I actually thought the visions were easier to integrate with the yellow spice. I know I still have a lot to learn about the spice, but that's what the Nexus is for.