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I want to Grow, but..

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Euforikk

Rising Star
Hello Everyone,

i registered here during this summer, but i start an essay about myself right now. :oops:
Why right now? Well.. it's been almost 3 months since i searched online stuff about DMT, i read all the FAQ, Healthy and Secure Stuff and 3rd party of this website to know what this substance is. How i met DMT? Well the first time a friend of mine (my Director - i'm a video editor) spoke about this substance, but he said that he will never try it because it's a crazy stuff. This was i year ago and i remember that i wasn't even curious about it, because i just didn't care at that time.
I gotta admit that i heard again this three letters word, the DMT, in a video on YouTube made by a guy called Adam (PsychedSubstances) 5/6 months ago and bumped in my mind again, but i never got deep because it was a "hell of a substance" and i wasn't too open mentally at that time (also is because of the YouTube Channel that i discovered this platform in first place). As i said before i registered almost 3 months ago because my best friend did it and he said to me that it was the best experience of his life and then i started searching more and more information.

In 2 weeks from now my best friend will bring me to my first experience, but i'm afraid. I've a lot of thoughts in my mind (the most of them are bad). I suffered from 8 months depression (no medication needed, but all the stuff that i didn't resolve or just addressed for 23 years came up all together) and now i'm rebuilding my life step by step. Also i'm trying to understand some parts of myself that i cannot explain why am i doing some stuff. I'm 23 and still haven't ever loved someone (a girl). Actually i don't feel to deserve love but also i seek it.. it's a strange thing. I smoke just marijuana and hash and when i started them i kinda "tripped" sometimes. I know that probably "trip" is not a good word to describe it, but i remember that i saw "stuff" like purple/pink mineral with different lights exposure and multiple multicolor lines moving in different directions.
Another thing that i hate and suffer from are Horror Films. Really they made me panic tons of times, i couldn't sleep till i hear someone voice that i know or love to reassure me that was only a film. That's happens because i'm paranoid sometimes (side effect of smoking Marijuana).

I said all this stuff because these are the main reason why i'm not so sure that is time to take something important like DMT, even if i think i respect the substance as it is, the risks and the pros.. i'm afraid of the probability of a bad trip that could change my life in a bad, very bad way.

What do you think is better to do? :? Wait for a better moment or is just my ego that throughs all the negative stuff possible because "he doesn't want to change"? I want to do it because i think i can resolve or improve some lack of these things that i wrote above and maybe.. just saying but maybe tell me why i still smoke what i hate most, cigarettes.

I hope you can help to through this,
thanks 😁

Cheers

-Euforikk-
 
Thank you for this open text. In my opinion, do not use DMT if you are in doubt. I have come to the conclusion, after a year experiencing DMT, that the right moment to use it appears by it self. You will know. At the time of inhalation you must be confident that you really want it.

Anyway, what ever you decide, good luck.
 
strtman said:
Thank you for this open text. In my opinion, do not use DMT if you are in doubt. I have come to the conclusion, after a year experiencing DMT, that the right moment to use it appears by it self. You will know. At the time of inhalation you must be confident that you really want it.

Anyway, what ever you decide, good luck.
Thank you for your answere strtman :)
Yeah i thought the same. Before even knowing that my friend had it, i was just wondering and preparing mentally and phisically but "this" i think it's way before my "full preparation". One of my biggest flaws is panicking in front of the unknown and i think that maybe i'll try to grasp on our "reality" than the "reality" that the substance shows me. I want to experience at the fullest and gain the most i can from it, even if is a "bad trip". Thinking about "bad trips" i'm scared. I don't know my really self.. so "he" could be awesome as the same as horrific.

Intezam said:
Aren't we/you/them/they/us ready for testing (y)our lucid gaming skills on one (y)our bossssss flight levels? Laughing

well i don't know.. if i knew already, don't you think that maybe i didn't need to write an essay here to present myself ans looking for more advices :) .
I don't undestand really the meaning of "we/you etc" and by "Boss" you mean that you have to pass something like a challenge? So if you are mental trained like having a good memory, reading a lot, making tons of exercise of logic.. could you please explain it better? :)

Thanks in advance ^_^
 
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