Incredibly negative 1st breakthrough

[divine_sage]

Before on Salvia I thought that I had broken through. On Salvia, I had completely overwhelming visual and tactile hallucinations so I was no longer on earth - but when I came back, I knew very much that I was in salvia-land.

I am coming down off of 270 morning glory seeds, and wow.. I broke through really hard. Everything feels shattered. I just re-read the "why you should not do DMT" thread and it makes perfect sense. I don't think that someone who hasn't broken through could understand however. I read that thread a couple months ago and didn't understand.

The trip lasted about 5 hours after a 2 hour comeup. I am now back on earth but have so many questions. I feel like I was up there for too long - a short DMT trip might have been manageable but after being broken through for 5 hours I just feel crazy.

Anyways just wanted to throw this viewpoint out there. You do have lots of time to explore earth and just enjoy it's primal experiences. There is no way you can _ever_ look back after a breakthrough. Of course I am still lightly tripping so I'm sure I'll feel better later.. but right now I feel like I am huddled in a corner, crying, wanting comfort from others on earth but not really sure why when there's a whole external dimension that seemed... way more real. Be careful kids.

I'll post my tek once I'm sober for people to reference but... 100 seeds is probably a better starting point if you administer effectively. I basically just ground the seeds and ate 270 of them, some nausea but incredibly effective.

 

[DreaMTripper]

Having your previously percieved solid belief system ripped apart can leave you feeling vulnerable and confused when all that you thought you know turns out to be superficial bs it can be hard to adjust as some of it made you who you were and now that person doesnt exist.
You have to be broken up to be rebuilt I suggest reading the integration threads there is much wisdom and pragmatic advice to be read that you can relate to your own situation.
Your eyes have been opened and now you have the opportunity to become better and wiser than you were and with that will come a deeper compassion, humility and a broader imagination. Dont mourn your old self celebrate the new.

Noone really knows what its all about we can just live our lives the best we can and enjoy asking the bigger questions if thats what interests us.

 

[darklordsson]

Having your previously percieved solid belief system ripped apart can leave you feeling vulnerable and confused when all that you thought you know turns out to be superficial bs it can be hard to adjust as some of it made you who you were and now that person doesnt exist.
You have to be broken up to be rebuilt I suggest reading the integration threads there is much wisdom and pragmatic advice to be read that you can relate to your own situation.
Your eyes have been opened and now you have the opportunity to become better and wiser than you were and with that will come a deeper compassion, humility and a broader imagination. Dont mourn your old self celebrate the new.

Noone really knows what its all about we can just live our lives the best we can and enjoy asking the bigger questions if thats what interests us.

Awesome description I couldn't even put it better myself. We never get the full picture to what life is, or what. Life cannot be described in a course of a paragraph, sentence, or description. Its impossible to explain. Jus keep going my friend that open wound to your soul will heal and be healed stronger and more beautifully than what was there to begin with it will make you humble. "To experience happiness one must know what sadness is, otherwise how do you tell if your happy or sad?" You will be ok even as if you had and ego death. Just take the important lessons LSA has taught you, integrate and be ok with how things are, not what you expected them to be.

I Wish You The Best Fellow Cosmo-naught!:thumb_up: --dls--

 

[Nathanial.Dread]

I find that, in the hours following a profound psychedelic trip, there can be a lot of confusion, regret and uncertainty. I think it's just a function of your brain trying to rewire itself into a 'normal' state of consciousness and begin the task of processing everything that it just experienced. In my experience even my best, most beautiful trips will often end on a kind of sour note. Or at least, a very confused one.

Give it time. Try not to worry too much: you have your whole life to integrate it and make sense of everything. Eat a good meal (once your apatite is coming back) and do something really grounding. I really enjoy gardening after a strong psychedelic trip. Get a good night sleep and don't be too surprised if the feelings persist through the next day. It takes a while to acclimate to consensus reality. But you'll be fine, I promise.

Think of it as inter-dimensional jet lag.

Blessings
~ND

 

[divine_sage]

Thanks all for your replies - I read them earlier but felt too discombobulated to reply.

24 hours after launch, I feel a lot better. I have no previous experience with LSA/LSD/Mushrooms or any long-lasting entheogen, and so after my peak I think I expected to be at baseline pretty quickly. I felt like I was at baseline, just with some delusions, so I was anxious about them being permanent.

I still recognize what happened, and it still seemed very real, but my mind is now attributing it to "great mystery of the universe" rather than "I definitely belong in another dimension, and earth is a temporary and hopeless state".

Reading the threads on integration has helped a lot, as has taking a 5 hour nap today. I still haven't eaten much but every time I do eat it feels grounding, like I am an earthling again.

And here's the tek:
I had 6 packets of 1.5g untreated heavenly blue seeds, 9g total. The packs had around 40-50 each, a total of 277 seeds. My last meal was several hours before eating them.

I ground up the seeds in a coffee grinder to a fine grind with just a couple larger pieces that I couldn't get ground. I placed them in a bowl and squeezed in half a lemon, some distilled water, and a few drops of peppermint extract (the kind with 89% alcohol, not the pure oil which I could not find). I also added some ginger for nausea.

Mixed them in the bowl and waited 5 minutes, then drank/ate the entire thing. There was some nausea for about 2 hours, and very little trip feeling at all during that time. After 2 hours, I became tired of the nausea and used a little bit of cannabis (very small bowl). After about 30 minutes (2:30 total) it became a full-blown peak for about 3-4 hours.

There were practically no OEVs, just strong CEVs and closed eye tactile sensations as well, as if I was there. With eyes open I could still sense the outer universe and it was kind of an OBE but not visual.. some kind of mental OBE.

 

[sarek]

I'm really glad to hear you're doing better. I've come to the conclusion that taking psychedelics is easy; it's living in reality that's the hard part. I've had some of the most confusing, depressing, difficult times of my life following heavy trips, as I'm sure many here can relate, but I invariably find in the long run that I've been changed for the better. It doesn't happen overnight though. I find myself recalling trips from years ago and understanding what they mean for the first time.

If you ever need some people to talk to, head over to chat some time. There are really loving, caring people who dwell there often, in fact maybe a little too often (don't you people have jobs?? ), and many understand exactly what you're going through.

We wish you the best