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Kraken jokes
- Thread starter The Kraken
- Start date
Why did the kraken eat the whole football ("soccer") team except for the goalkeeper?
(It was going to be a punchline about ten tackles but I've realised I'd best keep it to myself.)
(It was going to be a punchline about ten tackles but I've realised I'd best keep it to myself.)
Why did the Kraken go home early from the camping trip? They said, "I thought you said tentacles, not tents!"
What did the Kraken say to Davy Jones?
Nice face.
Nice face.
Why was the Kraken not permitted to participate in a rodeo? Because their tentacles were too tentative.
What's the difference between a man and a Kraken? Kraken: 8-10 tentacles, each its own neural structure that offloads work from the brain Man: one tentacle which controls brain
Excuse me sir, my tentacles are NOT soggy. Finely manicured and taken care of, thank you very much.
ommani
Titanium Teammate
I recently shared this image with @The Kraken suggesting it was a Kraken, and suffice it to say, The Kraken was not amused, at all. Thus, I would like to offer The Kraken a public apology:
The Kraken, it was not my intention to step on your tentacles or to offend you in any way. Please do not eat me.
Sincerely,
ommani
First you call my tentacles soggy, then... well idk what that insulting shit is, but it damn sure ain't no kin of mine!
I will decide later if I'll eat you or not... if i do, ima spit you out, but you'll learn!
I will decide later if I'll eat you or not... if i do, ima spit you out, but you'll learn!
ommani
Titanium Teammate
Thank you kindly, tentacled one. As a peace offering, I would like to offer another Kraken joke, which I hope will be to your liking.
What did the Kraken say to Freddy Krueger? Next time you get the urge to haunt someone in their dreams, see if you can feel that urge as a sensation in your body, and breathe through that sensation, instead of acting it out.
What did the Kraken say to Freddy Krueger? Next time you get the urge to haunt someone in their dreams, see if you can feel that urge as a sensation in your body, and breathe through that sensation, instead of acting it out.
Bullets only do their job after they're fired.
ommani
Titanium Teammate
What did the Kraken say to Simon Posford and Raja Ram? Why have you summoned me?!
Simon and Raj: Check out this song we made… (play How the Jellyfish Jumped Up the Mountain)
Kraken: I have seen many jellyfish in my day but have yet to see one jump up a mountain, now begone, lest I send you both to a sea of blissful awareness from whence you shan’t return.
Simon and Raj: Check out this song we made… (play How the Jellyfish Jumped Up the Mountain)
Kraken: I have seen many jellyfish in my day but have yet to see one jump up a mountain, now begone, lest I send you both to a sea of blissful awareness from whence you shan’t return.